Maybe | Teen Ink

Maybe

October 1, 2011
By xoNisaxo, Panama City, Florida
xoNisaxo, Panama City, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Summary:

To Ryan, love had always seemed like such a simple thing. Something easy to find, easy to hold onto. But he soon came to realize that the only person he could really, truly love was the girl who had always belonged to someone else. To her, he was just the shoulder to cry on, the best friend. He had hoped and hoped that if he stuck with her, put up with all the drama, picked up the Ben & Jerry's when she was sad, and beat up all the ex-boyfriends who broke her heart, that one day she would finally realize how he felt. That one day, maybe, just maybe, he could make her his.


Nisa A.

Maybe


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This book has 5 comments.


on Mar. 13 2012 at 8:43 am
BrandonTaylorsgirl, North Providence, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have none

i can relate to the character in your story a lot

on Nov. 24 2011 at 10:57 am
KierstenMarie, Houma, Louisiana
0 articles 1 photo 2 comments

I enjoyed reading it. It was sweet and I hope to read more.

Please read and leave comments on my stories. It would be greatly appreciated. :)


on Nov. 10 2011 at 12:24 pm
Jurdibird SILVER, North Tonawanda, New York
8 articles 2 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;One need not be a chamber to be haunted&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;I&#039;m impossible to forget, but I&#039;m hard to remember.

This is cute! I love the male main character, he is such a sweetie!

on Oct. 15 2011 at 10:15 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ve gotta dance like there&#039;s nobody watching,<br /> Love like you&#039;ll never be hurt,<br /> Sing like there&#039;s nobody listening,<br /> And live like it&#039;s Heaven on Earth.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ---William W. Purkey

*Sob* this is so SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!

 

I mean seriously, even though the girl sounds like a total idiot, I love the guy and the plot. But I'll praise you later, lets get the criticism out of the way.

 

umm...there wasn't much problem with your sentence structures.....not a single spelling mistake (two thumbs for that!).....your details and description of not just the narrator but also the surroundings was perfect and not too distracting, giving the reader a good background scenery to settle into..........

 

"Inwardly cursing myself for being such a loser who is unable to express his feelings toward the girl he has loved practically his entire life, I began walking to the vehicle in which I would drive to her house. It unlocked with a simple click of the clicker connected to my key chain, and I opened the door, placing myself in the driver's seat."

Okay, if you have any errors, its in the above extract. You mixed past and present tenses together. That is like a major flaw (and even I make the mistake all the time!). If you choose past tense, stick with it except in speeches. If you choose present tense, stick to that all the way through.....

 

Other than that there is nothing else really. A wonderful job done. 5 stars deserved!


on Oct. 15 2011 at 6:37 am
love2love17 GOLD, Springfield, Missouri
13 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. -Mae West

Oh, this is beautiful! I can't wait to read more!! Great job. There were a few grammatical errors, but otherwise it was great! :) Let us know when you have more!