What if the moon was made of cheese?

“Chanda Mama” as we call it with love in India, the moon is the only celestial body that orbits the Earth.  It is a hefty extraterrestrial body weighing approximately 73 sextillion kilograms, but the question here is,” What if it was made of cheese?” It is impossible though, but quite an interesting idea. Let’s start:

 So first comes gravity, so to make the gravity equal, you need to dense the cheese so much that it fits within the given radius of the current moon, which is not possible because after a certain time it will become incompressible. As a result, our cheese moon would be larger than the actual moon. “How much large”, if someone anxiously asked, the answer would be that the radius of our cheese moon would be 23 per cent greater than the actual moon i.e. 2150kms instead of 1737kms, thus making it the largest satellite of any planet in our solar system. Due to this deviation from the size of the actual moon, our cheese moon will come closer to the Earth. The famous Newton’s law of gravitation would help us find out the gravitational force exerted by Earth on the moon which would be slightly greater than what was being exerted on the real moon.

We all know that the gravity of the real moon is one-sixth of what we experience on Earth, but on my cheese moon, the gravity would be one-ninth of what we experience on Earth. That means if someone weighs 100kg on Earth, they would weigh 16.6kgs on the real moon and 11.1kgs on my cheese moon. At such a low gravity my moon would not be able to maintain an air blanket above it, in scientific terms, no atmosphere. At least something the same as the real moon.

Germaphobes reading this might be thinking that a cheese moon would be so unhygienic, stinky and a mess. I would suggest them not worry about it. The space around us has an average temperature of 2.7 Kelvin i.e. about minus 455 degrees Fahrenheit. So it's just like an infinitesimally small cheese particle in an infinitesimally expanding refrigerator and also some genius people have already told us that refrigeration increases the shelf life of cheese!

The dust we brought back from the moon, the real moon (we here refers to Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and many others) was sold for a whopping 1.5 million dollars. They couldn’t taste it though, what a satirical thought but you could taste my moon, as far as you can think. Well, you can taste it but let me warn you that it might be your last cheese slice. Jokes apart, the space around us is toxic and we cannot taste anything that comes from there. It was just a hypothetical question though, you ain't gonna eat cheese that costs a million dollars. Right? Right.

After discussing everything, now I would like to emphasize one thing, about the hypothetically hypothetical nature of this discussion that, (silence), the moon is a non-luminous object, which means it does not have its own light, that means it reflects the light of the sun and when it does so, its surface temperature becomes as high as 127-degree Celsius that is twice the temperature at which cheese melts. So it would rain cheese and cheese in the days and it would be so much that it will cover the entire surface of the Earth leading to the formation of a cheesy Earth resulting in global extension of most of the humans, especially humans on Earth (except squids and viruses maybe).

So here we are eradicating all life on Earth by a cheese moon. Thus I let the moon be the way it is. I hope there was nothing mush scientific about it though.