Moms

“Before she goes off to college, we would like you all to share some of your favorite stories or memories of her” My mom says.

“My favorite memory was when I was babysitting her and her brother when she was younger, I could not figure out for the life of me why her older brother was crying. After half an hour of me trying to ask why he was upset, she comes up and says he’s just hungry.”

“My favorite memory of her was when I had just gotten broken up with, she went out of her way to go and bring me my favorite snacks and a candle.”

Everyone knows that there is always one person in the friend group who is considered the “mom” because she is always taking care of everyone, being there for them when they need it, and making sure everyone is okay all of the time. I don’t want to make myself sound lame, but I am the mom. But I think people look up to their mom, so it’s okay.

I do not have to think very far back in time, I can give an example just from last night.

It was eight p.m.; I was in bed in my comfortable pajama pants and had my new candle burning. I was not planning on doing anything last night, but, my friends decided to drag me out. My phone starts to ring so I answer.

            “Jenna, can you come let us in? I forgot my key!”

            I walk through my hallway and down the stairs, looking like I just had one hell of a day. As I walk out the front door of my dorm building a quick chill runs through my body when I realize how cold it is outside. I finally spot my friends and start to lead them back up to my room. I realize on the way up that they got all dressed and had their makeup done and that’s when I knew the question was coming. This made my night a little worse.

            “Jenna… would you be willing to drive us to the bars tonight?”
            This might be fooling to some, but she was not asking. She was telling me that I was going to spend my night being an uber driver and taking care of my friends under the influence. I’m a mom, I can’t say no. I felt like it was either I had to drive, or they would do it themselves and I really did not want that to happen.

            As I thought that we were about to head out the door, I feel another question coming on because they are both looking at me with suspicious looks on their faces.

            “Can we please do your makeup before we go?”

            I do not wear makeup, so my friends like to play dress-up with me whenever they can. I feel like a mom with toddlers playing around in her makeup drawer. So, we spent the next hour doing exactly that because I was in no place to say no.

            About an hour later, I picked them up from the first place that they were at, and the second they got in the car all I could smell was whatever they had been having to drink and sweat. I was a little hesitant to drop them off at their next desired location because I knew how the night was going to end. A couple of drunk girls crying in the bathroom, while I try and give them water so they don’t throw up whatever it is that they have been consuming all night.

            But being the good mother that I am, I drop them off.

            I’m going to be honest, I am making myself sound a little bit better than I am, because I have my nights too, just not in the same ways. I take pride in always being a strong friend who can be there for whoever, whenever. But sometimes, I feel like I am put under a lot of pressure and it would be nice for someone else to take over for once. I love going out with my friends, but having to make sure everyone is safe all of the time and being the only one who cares is a lot of pressure.

            I drive back to my dorm after dropping them off, then I just sit and wait to get the text to come back and get them. Once I receive it, I am there within ten minutes, and it is absolute madness. My fears for the end of the night were coming true.

            “Jenna, I don’t feel very good can we stop and get some food and water?”

            So of course, we stop and get food and we make our way back to the dorm safely. Once I get them inside, one is headed straight for the bathroom and I can only assume the worst. I don’t think this is a part of the story where I need to go into detail, you can just imagine what they spent the next little chunk of time doing.

            “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us tonight, Jenna, it means a lot.”
            This is the part of the night that I feel is rewarding, because I can tell I helped make the night at least a little bit better, making me feel good. I’m still unsure if I like being the responsible one all of the time though.

            Last night was not fun for me, nor do I think either of them had fun at the end. I am grateful I had this experience because I feel like I gained a little more knowledge about myself. It was clear to me that my priorities when we go out are that everyone is safe, and having a fun time. I pride myself in being the person in the friend group that everyone feels like they can go to for help when they need it. But I also learned, maybe sometimes I need to learn how to let loose and let myself have a little bit of fun sometimes. But the main thing I learned is that maybe being the group mom isn’t such a bad thing and I’m not going to let anyone make me feel like I’m not fun just because I prefer to be sober.