Hello, it is your favorite friend in the whole wide world, Molly! Or was it, Grace? Sally? Isabelle? Oh, whatever my name is, how is my favorite person in the world doing? 

 Oh, I am doing great despite being placed in this tight, dark, and messy corner of your room, my hair still came out looking beautiful as always but thank you for asking. Though I ended up losing one of my pink heels there, hopefully, you can find it before your little sibling does and tries to eat it or your dog. 

           What is that? Your grandmother read a Facebook post about how over-sexualized I am and how I promote unrealistic body proportions. You’re like eight- you don’t even know what that means! So silly of your grandmother to be complaining about me! I was intended to be your second parent as I guide you with your life and figure out every decision you make. OH, let's just ignore that I am a fashion doll that comes with accessories such as a hairbrush, extra clothing, and a small dog that looks almost the same as your real-life dog. Oh wow, I cannot believe how intelligent your grandmother is. 

             What exactly did your grandmother complain about me? Oh, I spend all of my time shopping, flirting with boys, and just doing my makeup that makes me look much older than I am. Was your grandmother watching some of my commercials? Does she see what I do? Well, my professionals are fashion designers/teachers/doctors/pilots/writers/singers and so much more. All that and I am still 19 years old. But darn, I just find math to be tough just this once and suddenly all of my accomplishments and career don’t exist!  I am a woman who has a hobby and a career that cannot exist. 

          My main rule is to keep trying and to always be there for girlfriends! You know, my girlfriends. Oh, despite the many times I am close to my female friends in many of those animation films of mine, our relationship is platonic! I mean that it would be a disaster for me to date someone of the same gender. That is why I flirt with boys so that many parents won't complain about the “woke” agenda I have put in front of young minds. Wait, didn't your grandmother say that my flirting with boys is a bad thing? She's right! I should be my own independent woman who cares for herself and no one else. We can do this!  Huh? She said that I don’t look like a mother. 

             Hey, you know how your grandmother stated that I have unrealistic body proportions? She is right! I mean how ignorant of me!  Let's see, my waist is 16 inches, my legs are about 50% longer than my arms, my feet are all on fours, and my neck appears six inches thinner than yours proportionally.

I cannot believe that a 19-year-old with multiple jobs has unusual feet! Oh, the outrage! Here, let's change that! How about we make the newer version of me with a different body and height size? Why don’t we include different skin colors too? That would make other young girls feel included. Oh dear, is your grandmother complaining that I am darker than I am supposed to be? Will your grandmother ever stop complaining about me?

          Your grandmother said that I am not a good role model. Huh?  I don’t appear to be a stay-at-home mother with a husband that I married many years ago. Not that there is nothing wrong with that of course. Unlike letting a young woman enjoy their feminine hobbies such as fashion because that is such a waste of time. But I got to keep wearing dresses! 

            One day, you will stop playing with me because you will feel that you’re too old for dolls. Soon, you will feel that you need to be as plain as your white pillow. You're going to hate everything that you once loved and feel the need to appeal to people like your grandmothers. 

Well, I wish you the best of luck. You've been a very good friend to me! Oh, you are so lucky, not to have life be so against you. I am sure that the world you are living in isn't bad for you.

Right, dear? Oh, goodbyes to the collection of different colors of pets! Goodbyes to my many friends, who are mostly females! Goodbyes to the love of my life, my “boyfriend”! OH, goodbyes to those accessories and dresses you collected for me! Oh, where should I go? I just ended up in some adult room to be displayed as a trophy because I would be worth much more than I originally cost. Which is so silly of them because despite fashion dolls being for all ages, some consider them as only toys for little girls to play with.