It’s eight o’clock on a Tuesday night. Dance is just ending. I think about checking my phone to see if I have a message from Mitchell, the guy I really like. The instructor dismisses us and the text from him is angry. Great we’re in a fight. Normal sophomore drama. Walking out to the car, my mom asks if anything is bothering me. “No. Everything’s fine. Can we get Arby’s?” I say, trying not to cry.
As I un-wrap my Beef ‘n Cheddar, my phone goes off. Please don’t let it be him yelling at me. I’m shocked to see it’s a text from my friend. “Is Mrs. Fischer alright? Elise has a Facebook status saying she loves her?”
I ask my mom about it. They have been really close for years. And my mom says, “Yeah she’s fine. I just talked to her yesterday. I should give her a call when we get home.”

I walk through the door, give my dad his food, and my mom goes on the computer. The phone rings. At that moment I knew things aren’t okay with Mrs. Fischer.
My mom walks into the kitchen she picks up the phone. She screams and drops the papers she was carrying. As she was crying, I hear her say into the phone, “No. That can’t be true! I just talked to her yesterday. No.”
By then I knew what happened. My mom, still on the phone, says the words that shook me. “She killed herself.” Emotions run through my head; sadness, anger, frightened. At this point, the fight I am having with Mitchell no longer matters. I start dialing the number of Mrs. Fischer’s youngest daughter. Voicemail. I have been close with her since kindergarten. Crying I leave her a message, “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe this. I love you so much and please call me right away.”
Within five minutes, my parents are on their way to the Fischer’s house. I go up stairs and crawl into bed. Why did she do it? The woman who has been a second mom to me is now gone. Tears stream down my face. Hours pass and the clock now says three in the morning. Have I really been crying for this long!? How will I function in school tomorrow!? I eventually wake up to my alarm. Please say that was a bad dream. But that really happened. Focusing in school was nearly impossible, as was staying awake. That dragged on for months.
Every day that passes, a memory of Mrs. Fischer goes through my head. I keep asking myself the same question: Why? Everyone else does too. Her family is still in mourning. But spending more time with them helps with the pain. And speaking with one teacher that knows how the loss has affected me makes things easier. Happy memories make the tears go away, but also come back. I’ve began accepting her loss and this makes my day easier. I no longer fall asleep in class and my grades are stronger.

***

It’s another Tuesday night at eight o’clock and dance is almost over. The text that might be waiting for me doesn’t matter. A guy that I really like is mad, but that isn’t important, either. The last breath and finishing my routine is my focus. Looking back in the mirror, the song finishes. Why the sudden change? My mind still wanders back to the Tuesday night two years ago. Mrs. Fischer leaving us made me realize living for today and enjoying every bit of life is the most important thing. A tear runs down my cheek and a smile forms. That amazing woman made me a stronger person.