On a perfect Sunday afternoon, you stroll around the neighborhood park trying to soak up the sunny weather. On the opposite pathway you see a 65-year old woman freely enjoying her day. Quickly scanning her face, you observe the gray hairs, laugh lines around the mouth, and freckled cheeks. Suddenly, your eyes widen at the bare dangling bosoms and bulging hips covered with sagging skin. For miles and miles, stretch marks mar the skin. When she finally passes by, you can’t help but look back and almost gag with jealously at the plane of dimples and varicose veins on the two plump cheeks. Gosh, why couldn’t I look like that? Just kidding. The majority of us would scream out, “How unnatural!”

Why are we so embarrassed and disgusted at this notion of a woman simply wanting to be free? The human body is beautiful in all forms, no matter how much our appendages hang loose. We came out of the womb naked, so what’s wrong with living every second the same way? If we’re so uncomfortable with joining the nudist community, then why do we insist on covering up so little?

Girls, think of all the time we’re wasting by trying to decide what to wear for everyday. You open the closet door, stare at the rows of fabric, blink, sigh, scratch your head, rifle through piles of clothing, change your outfit four times, scream at the heavens, give up, slam the closet door, throw on a pair of shorts and a top that doesn’t even cover your stomach, walk out the door without a second thought. Why go through this torture every morning?
We spend hours plastering on a new face with makeup just to achieve that sun-kissed look while hiding our blemishes. Then, we move on to the hair, sculpting it into voluminous perfection only to throw on a beanie claiming it’s a “bad-hair day”. What was the point of camouflaging your true face, if you’re just going to walk around practically naked? Yes, I get it: they’re proud of their bodies, want to express themselves, share their healthy lifestyle, and blah, blah, blah. Seriously, that broken record needs to be thrown out the window. Sure, people can feel secure about themselves, but I don’t have to see just how secure they are.

First, let’s clarify what doesn’t constitute as acceptable clothing. Unless you’re an athlete, there is no reason why just spandex shorts should ever be worn in public. If I can see any part of your butt showing, you’re basically walking around in panties. This applies to males as well. There is nothing attractive about seeing your boxers. I don’t care if it’s striped, plaid, polka dotted, or has Care-Bears on it; pull your pants up! Belts were invented for a reason, so please use them. Furthermore, since when is it considered acceptable for girls to leave the house with just a bra on? We dub these frilly tops with pretty names like bandeaus or sports bras, but–let’s be honest–it’s still underwear. Clothing is meant to be worn for a reason; no one really wants to see what’s hiding underneath.

How can you expect to receive respect from men (or even from yourself) if you parade around in five-inch heels and show too much skin saying, “I feel like a piece of meat being objectified by these beasts!” Hate to break it to you, but you voluntarily dressed like that. No one thinks it’s classy to show the triple threat: cleavage, stomach, and thighs. Imagine Michelle Obama walking out of the White House in nothing but a tube top and booty shorts. Even the First Lady couldn’t maintain an air of gracefulness and dignity in that outfit. On the other hand, I bet guys would also feel like they’re on the meat market being ogled and poked at; people constantly judging to see if you’ve hit the gym or not. I understand it gets a little too hot to be wearing long-sleeved button-up shirts all the time, but understand that not everyone would like to see your frail, pale arms poking out of those bright tank tops. Bottom line is dress for success. It may sound trite, but it’ll pay off in the long run.

If you’re going to disregard this piece of advice, then might as well commit to being naked full-time. Toss out any piece of wearable fabric, pack your bags, and sign up for the nudist lifestyle! If you want to showcase what a “hot bod” you possess, then this would be your equivalent of nirvana.


Self-Evaluation

In this essay, I found it to be very difficult to make obvious how sarcastic my tone was for the majority of the argument. For instance, in the first half of the essay I go on to say how amazing it would be to live in a nudist community only to flip that notion by telling people what not to wear if they refuse to sign up. It was also difficult to connect both genders being objected by the other sex. It’s very common for women to feel like men behave boorishly when they dress scantily. However, it was more challenging to say that women objectify men also. Furthermore, the beginning passage may be a little too confusing as I describe how beautiful this saggy elderly woman looks only to argue against this later on when audience isn’t ready to accept being nude full time.

What I loved writing in this argument was directly speaking to the audience in such an informal manner. It made it easier to connect and share similar thoughts. This also allowed my true voice and personality to peek through as my humor was exemplified here. One of my favorite argument devices used is the Michelle Obama reference. Relating such an elegant lady to the average skimpy-dressed teenage girl was completely hilarious in my opinion. I also enjoyed scaring the readers a bit by making them realize that if they don’t start dressing more appropriately, then they should move in with the nudists. However, our society isn’t ready for this notion yet, so the audience would be more inclined to dress better than being fully naked all the time.

Like the example model I had analyzed before, I tried to be blatantly obvious with how I was going to tackle this subject. For example, in the passage that involves underwear I point out how ironic it is that we can easily walk around in our panties if it has an acceptable name to it (other than underwear). I also attempted to form long lists and steps on how to achieve the goal of either covering up more skin or stripping down. Unlike the sample model, I did not fully extend my step-by-step process of dressing better. The argument would become too long, and the readers would be lost and become uninterested in what I had to say.