The Great Nerf War


The student stood, silent and solid as a statue, motionless and virtually breathless, as his prey slowly approached. Dirk Holloway, a socially awkward sixteen year old, was determined to finally prove that he belonged on the inside of the social sphere of high school. He had been drafted as a last minute replacement for the sophomore team in the Nerf war, due to an unfortunate injury to the captain of the team. Frank O’Harris, the sophomore phenom point guard, who had been starting on varsity since early in 8th grade, had just broken his ankle in a freak basketball accident during the first half of the game last week. Frank had been elected captain of the Nerf team due to his impeccable athletic abilities and his outstanding leadership qualities during clutch periods of time. Dirk had never expected to be in this situation, but he was now in such a difficult position, that his current actions would either take him to the top of the social ladder, or bury him in the pit of social despair as an “untouchable” for the rest of his high school career.

Dirk had been the social scrub since age seven, when he failed to make the soccer team while his best friend, Frank, became an instant all-star by winning a starting position on the nine-year old team. While Frank excelled at every athletic competition possible, Dirk and he quickly grew apart, losing their friendship due to the social stigma that athleticism holds. Frank continued to excel in the athletic areas of life, while Dirk grew into the contemplative type of person, never saying much, thinking a lot, and being accepted into advanced placement classes for every subject: Advanced Algebra, Literary Analysis, Psychology, Philosophy; and in eighth grade, he was even admitted into a class studying the social habits of self-conscious teenagers. These two friends clearly took very different roads after their paths split, but now fate had brought them back together again for the most epic battle the school had ever seen.

The Great Nerf War, as the event would later be known as, was a fundraiser designed to raise money for the school’s prom. It pitted grade against grade in a battle for school supremacy, plus the winning grade received discounted admission to prom. The battle would be fought over the time span of several hours, with several goals in mind while participating. The main goal of each grade, or army, was to annihilate the others. There was only one other way to reign victorious at the end of the battle, and it was to kill the kings, or captains, of every other grade. This was an extremely daunting task as the armies consisted of over 30 students a piece, and each king’s personal entourage consisted of a dozen teachers defending them along with the entire rest of the army. This impossible mission was the very assignment given to the young Dirk Holloway.

The other students had given Dirk this job because they feared he would find a way to jeopardize the king if he was left to guard him. With this reasoning in mind, they assigned him this task hoping that he would be eliminated in as short a time period as possible. To their surprise, however, Dirk was now in a position of great potential and great power. The entire outcome of the competition seemed to be riding on his back. Waiting, anticipating the perfect moment to strike his opponent and render him defeated, Dirk reflected on all of the factors that had brought him to this point in the competition. The unprecedented injury, the teachers forced draft of Dirk, since he was the only eligible sophomore available, the distrust of his comrades, and his mother’s challenge all had a major role in his arrival at this position: hiding behind a wall, about to ambush the enemy guard, who was making the rounds just around the corner, getting closer and closer to allowing Dirk to complete his first goal.

When Dirk had been given the news of his being drafted to the group of sophomore representatives in the Great Nerf War, he had planned to turn them down. He had never attended social activities or sports games, and he was ready to abandon all aspects of the social sphere. He had been shunned as a child, and he was now determined to avoid the possibility of being humiliated by simply keeping away from others. However, his mother had something else in mind for Dirk. Mrs. Holloway had been worrying about Dirk for years, especially while Dirk had been in junior high as he came home depressed night after night as his classmates left him out of every activity they possibly could. She was now determined to help Dirk escape this shell he was living in and to show the world all of the fabulous qualities she knew he had. She wanted others to know that he was a very bright, fit, talented young man who had a potential that was absolutely limitless.
“Dirk,” she called out, “I heard about your being on the Nerf team! I am so proud of you, and I think it is time to earn back the respect of your classmates. This is how you are going to do it.” She then presented him a list with these goals: 1. Survive, 2. Defeat another soldier, 3. Defeat at least ten other soldiers, 4. Win the competition as a grade, and 5. Be named Most Valuable Warrior. “Now I can’t do this for you. This is your battle to fight, and I want you to know that I will love you no matter what happens, but I also want you to be happy. I don’t want to see you coming home alone night after night. Now, start at number one,” she challenged. “It’s all up to you how many of these goals you accomplish.”
Dirk decided right that instant that he was no longer content with being the school’s nobody. He was going to be remembered by the school, whether for good or bad, and he was going to be remembered for his actions in the Great Nerf War. He began honing his weapons skills with the help of “the Youtube.” His bedroom transformed into an advanced training arena in the matter of an hour as he turned every pillow in the house into an enemy warrior, just waiting to be defeated by his terrible, swift sword. By the time the evening of the competition arrived, Dirk felt as if he was the Master of Nerf Weaponry.
His memories faded away while Dirk crouched. He took one more deep breath, focused all of his energy on the task at hand, exhaled slowly, and leapt out from around the corner, silencing the enemy guard with one quick blow to the head from Charlene, Dirk’s sword. He picked up the enemy’s crossbow and stealthily moved into his next position. He guessed that the enemy base was in the library, but in order to reach the library Dirk would have to traverse nearly 500 yards of of enemy hallway. He approached the corner where the maroon and gold walls converged, indicating he was exiting the junior high, and entering into the high school. He leaned up against the corner and looked at the doors opposite him that lead to the bus stop. He counted, “One, two, three,” as he looked at the reflections off the glass doors opposite him. There were three enemy teachers in the gold hallway. Dirk knew then that he was absolutely correct about the library. He took out the crossbow from the first guard and counted the ammo. “One, two, three.” He knew he had to be accurate and efficient if he was to have any chance at making it through unnoticed. He laid down on his stomach and peaked around the corner. Pfft, pfft, pfft, came the sound from the crossbow as Dirk fired rapidly at his targets. He watched as they dropped to the ground in silence.
As he stalked up to his fallen prey, he recognized the principal, Mr. Mastallion, and immediately began forming a plan to defeat all of his enemies in one, swift blow. He quickly made contact with team members and told them about his plan. When they expressed their doubts, he brought out Mr. Mastallion’s key chain in order to prove he meant business. Although Frank could not physically take part in the competition, he was allowed to still be the team leader, but he could only communicate through radio transmitters. Dirk got on the radio.
“Frank? I’ve got a plan.”
“Do you really think it will work?” questioned Frank after Dirk had given him the details.
“Yes. Yes, I do.” responded Dirk with confidence.
“Well then let’s get this trap set up,” commanded Frank. “Dirk, it’s good to hear confidence in your voice. I’ve missed talking to you.”
“Me too, Frank. Me too.”
The sophomores then began working in earnest anticipation as they prepared the trap and awaited Dirk’s signal. Dirk used Mr. Mastallion’s keys in order to gain access to the high school office. The office held additional ammo and supplies, but the only way in was with Mr. Mastallion’s key. Dirk outfitted his class with all the weapons they would need to carry out the plan, and set the plan into action. Pressing down on the intercom button, and with a perfect mimic of Mr. Mastallion’s voice, he announced, “Due to a shortage of time, all protectors have been removed from the game. Would all teachers and regular soldiers please make your way into the gymnasium? All kings should make their way into the library for the final showdown.”
Dirk waited and watched as students and teachers made their way out of their camps, and headed for the gymnasium, where the rest of the sophomore class was waiting with an ambush, armed with Nerf Gatling guns and high powered Nerf sniper rifles. Dirk knew that none of them stood a chance once they entered the gym, so he ran towards the library. The freshman, junior, and senior royalty were already gathered in the middle of the room. Dirk took out a crossbow he attained in the office and dropped the freshman. He then took out Charlene, the sword he named after his inspiration and other, and made himself visible to the enemy. It was every man for himself as the upperclassmen quickly realized that they had been duped. They all stared at each other, weighing each other’s strengths, trying to elevate themselves above their competition. It was one v. one v. one. Mono y mono y mono. Dirk took a deep breath, knowing that he was fully prepared for this moment. He knew that regardless of the outcome, he had made his statement to the social world, but Dirk still needed to prove to himself that he was worthwhile.
“You all did well and fought honorably during this Great Nerf War, but there also can only be one winner,” explained Principal Mastallion, “And that winner is the class of 2016! Congratulations sophomores! Your team performed far above the rest in the tactical planning category, and I believe this won you the competition. Job well done!”
Mr. Mastallion continued, “I am also proud to present the Most Valuable Warrior award to Mr. Dirk Holloway. Dirk your ingenuity and courage were the keys to success today, and I compliment you on your marksmanship as well, but I am afraid I need my keys back now.”
“Yes, sir!” exclaimed Dirk, ecstatic that he had accomplished his goals. He was finally able to believe in himself, and he knew now that he could accomplish anything he set his mind to. He had broken through the social barrier and was now a class hero, at least for the time being. The social sphere in high school never stayed the same for an extended period of time, but Dirk was now confident that he could adjust to any changes that came his way.
“Hey Dirk!” called Frank, “You did a great job today! The whole class is coming over for a party! Wanna come?”