First day of rifle season, got to keep my guard up.  Can’t fall for any tricks such as decoys and food that looks to good to be true. Have to stay low and keep my nose open.  Bow season is very easy for an old stud like me. You almost have to practically walk beside their stand to get shot, but rifle season is a completely different story.
But I must say I have quite an advantage when it comes to being hunted.  I can see all colors very well, where most deer are color blind.  All I have to look for are those bright orange toboggans and I will be gone.  If they don’t have orange on, that is breaking the law, and I consider that cheating.  The sun is just starting to come up, and I’ve already counted 3 rifle shots.  My nose is going crazy.  I keep smelling all kinds of hunters.  There is no telling how many deer have been lost, but it is kind of a blessing because it keeps increasing our population.  The poor young bucks are wanting to become dads and they’re not being cautious and they’re paying for it with their lives.
I was laying down in my favorite holler and eating acorns I had found.  Then my nose just lit up. I smelled the best thing that I have ever smelled in my entire life.  I haphazardly got up and started trotting to it.  There was a big, beautiful doe standing on the other side of my favorite holler.  She had nice big ears, and nice wide hips.  She smelled just like acorns and corn.  Then a little buck started to try and molest her.  I quickly ran over to her and I rammed the little buck with my horns.  He fell down and his face was bleeding badly.  He ran away and then it was just me and her.  We started rubbing noses and eating acorns, then we got into the fun stuff but then we started getting hungry again.  I decided to be a gentleman and let her pick the place where we graze. 
We trotted through the forest and she decided to pick this nice, big corn field.  For some reason there was a big tower in the middle of the field with an orange thing but I just couldn’t stop thinking about her.  “BAM”,  I felt the worst pain I had ever felt in my life and then I realized that I had been caught.  I quickly ran through the forest spitting and bleeding everywhere, I made it about 20 yards into the woods until I saw the same doe with a different buck.  I should’ve just stayed in my holler and ate acorns.