Waking up and trying to recover it all, many have tried it but it's futile. There's just certain things you can't get back in life ironically with life being one of them. How will Solarian deal with the obscurities and hardships thrown at him. Everyone copes differently. Is this all there is to life?

"Oh Solarian" was how her affectionate statement began, while her warm tender hands brought comfort to every ounce of skin that composed my face, I attempted to capture this moment appreciating every subtle movement as well as the nuances of every syllable that drew from each word she spoke. "You seem so troubled, lost and dumbfounded don't you know that you're meant to be colossal and alter the very landscape in which we all inhabit, I believe in you even when you're on the brink of calling it quits but don't quit now! There's nothing more special and captivating than the mind that you were blessed with and from the moment my eyes had the pleasure of drawing in alliance with the innocence of yours nothing else mattered to me than to protect you, sadly I can no longer do that in a physical matter but believe me I..." My eyes opened but I wish they hadn't, I try to come to grasp with reality realising that my dream was only a dream and nothing more, tears flood my face as I attempt to fall back asleep and recover that dream. At least one more glance or sound but it's futile. I miss my mom. The sun is out and my room feels like a blistering inferno but It feels dark and the only sensation that flows down my spine and soul is the feelings of an unbearable cold and chills which would be enough to have an inhabitant of the North Pole begging for warmth. May 29th, 2013, it's now been a little over two years since the worst day of my life. At times I wish I had been with them or I could've stalled them for at least another second maybe they'd still be here, I guess it's true when they say every second counts. It was just like any other day, my parents were on their way to buy me sneakers, I feel so selfish. As they drove down a one way road with the light on green the devastating collision that changed my life took place. A lousy, disgraceful, bastardly, drunken and poor excuse of a truck driver driving at an accelerated pace suddenly crashed and wiped out their car as well as their lives. They never saw it coming and they died instantaneously, mid sentence, mid laugh and mid thought, unable to process what had just happened most likely not even realising that they had just been killed. It's impossible for me to feel anymore, I'm numb.

I had to fend for myself. Everything that my father earned for a living and his life insurance was inherited on to me leaving me enough to pay off the house. This emptiness destroys me. It's only me, I go upstairs, downstairs to the kitchen and to the yard but it's only me. The only company I receive to take me away from this loneliness is that of my own reflection but that's tough when you hate your self and you feel responsible for all the events that had occurred but regardless my funds were low and I fell victim to the life of the streets. This was all I had now and this was all I knew and it was all introduced to me by my good friend Hollow. This was his street name which is another word that represents bullets but honestly after all this time of knowing him I believe he picked it because it describes his persona. Hollow meaning empty. Funny isn't it, aren't we all? But it's time to get to business and do our job which is being a felon. Once you clock in there's never any clocking out, you're stuck with this job till the consequences catch up with you but I know what I signed up for and I'm working over time. He has this house robbery set up, this isn't the first and I know this won't be the last. My sanity is gone and I find comfort in the thrill of life endangering activities. Like I said before I no longer feel, I'm numb.
My mind drifts off and I envision a vision of my mom calling me to eat, I miss her food, I'd give up my life if it meant she could at least prepare me a sandwhich. In my day dream I walk into the kitchen table and my mom has prepared my favourite dish which is chicken parmesan with baked macaroni. My father is reading a novel, he was a constant reader but he puts his book down in a heartbeat so we can all sit together and eat, we say grace. I picture us all eating and laughing but my day dream is interrupted and put to a halt when the doorbell rings. I already know who it is, I grab my semi automatic and pistol from under my bed as well as my ski mask and gloves hop in Hollow's car and off to work we go.

"Yoooo soul, you hungry?" Hollow calls me soul, we compliment each other perfectly and our names connect, hollow soul. I tell him yes and we stop to get a bite to eat as we establish the game plan, it's a house on the east in the neighbourhood of spring city, a very nice neighbourhood full of expensive possessions and only the wealthy make up the population of those who reside there. It is 8 pm and we strike at 10, it should take us about an hour and a half to get there so we begin to move out. We're on the highway and Hollow owns a convertible so I get to look at the sky while the breeze hits me. This is one of the few things I still have a passion and love for, come to think of it it's probably the only thing. Ahhhh man the sky at night, with each tinkling star illuminating in its own special way and shining down upon us surrounding the luminous moon and putting us in a never ending spotlight of life, we're meant to shine at night, true stars shine at night. I'm lost in time I feel like this moment is never going to end. We've arrived. The house is tremendous the outcome should be monumental.

We're professionals at what we do, Hollow quickly cuts the wires that trigger the alarm system as I keep look out, this part is all to easy. It appears everyone is asleep because from the outside view we cant see any lights on so we continue to carry out the plan and I slowly open the back window as we make our way in and we shine our flashlights to guide our path, this light resembles our enlightenment to riches. We are in awe by how materialistic and expensive this house is, we've hit the jackpot however all we can picture is how glorious the pay day from the safe must be, we can retire tonight. We keep quiet and move with majestic footsteps like those of dancers who've been practicing all their lives, we're dancing with destiny. Our movements are as light as feathers even with the artillery that is strapped against our bodies. This appears to be a family house and the bedrooms are upstairs so we quickly make our way up and instinctually we know which door leads to the master bedroom, our guns pressed against our fingertips almost as if they were a connection of our body, the 207th bone. We open the door and see we've made the worst mistake of our lives, I wish I was still on that highway. A room full of mobsters surrounded by every gun possible, bundles of drugs and piles of money. Is it to late to turn around? It is to late. Hollow begins to fire recklessly without regard of taking life, our natural survival instincts have kicked in, it's either death or survival and we need to see tomorrow. 11 of them in total, Hollow has taken the life of 3 and I have taken 2. They have a home advantage and we scatter around the house trying to find hiding spots moving vicariously in the dark. They fire with no remorse and I know they won't stop till they see us dead, the countdown to our demise has began and now we're only delaying the inevitable, I'm struck in the shoulder and Hollow has been hit in his forearm but we can't shriek or even make the slightest cry or else our cover would get blown. S***, the light has been turned on we were hiding behind the couch but tragically Hollow's head was sticking out, 3 machine gun bullets pierce his head, his brain and thoughts have been blown away. This has gone to far and honestly I don't care anymore, I jump out and begin to shoot, I quickly dismiss of 4 of them but the remaining 2 take advantage and a bullet strikes my lung, I jumped out knowing my life would end but I wanted it to end. We messed up big time and I'm on the floor bleeding out, slowly gasping for air and seeing this world that I despised for the last time. Im only 17 and my life has been unfair. I wish things wouldn't have been like this. I wish I had never asked for those shoes. I wish we can be together once more. My life is draining away and they begin to shoot at me several more times but it's impossible for me to feel anymore, I am numb. A tear of joy disperses from my face and my eyes close for the last time. The last thought I had makes me die a happy man. Hi mom. Hi dad.