I’m on my way home. I can smell the alcohol on the drunken men's breathe. I can see them stumble out of the bar then attempt to go home. Glad I’m not them, they are for sure gonna get caught by the police today, me, I won't.
Man, today was a great day. I can’t wait to get home and talk to Bryon about it, but I won’t wake him up if he is asleep, it’s late, but the sky is cloudless. I could count every star in the sky like counting my change on Friday's. As I approach home the lights seem to still be on. I don’t find anything wrong with that because Bryon or mama must've been waiting for me. As I walk in the door I see Bryon sitting in the chair in the front room. He seems out of place, like a chicken breast instead of turkey on Thanksgiving. When I see him I say “Hey, still up?” I didn’t stop walking when I said that at first, but the expression on his face shocked me, I was like a deer in headlights, I stopped walking, “What's the matter-Bryon, you look awful! What is it?” He held up the bottle of pills; I’ve been selling them. He found them. Crap, he doesn't look to happy. I should've told him sooner, but all I could think to say was, “Oh, you found them, huh? Well, don’t worry buddy, I don’t take them. I have a good enough time like I am.” Am I stupid? What am I saying!  He still didn’t seem convinced and I don’t blame him. It seemed like he had something itching in the back of his head, and the only way to scratch it is for him to tell me what’s the matter. He hasn’t scratched the itch, yet. I feel really uncomfortable just standing here, while he stares at me like I’m supper. So, I know I shouldn’t just walk away, but whatever that itch is, he must not need to scratch it.
As I start to walk away, suddenly he asks, “Ju how are you, anyways?”
I don’t know  what to say. It was so random. So all I could think to say was, “What?” Of course, just like Bryon, he didn’t really care about me, he was trying to lead up to say something else that has nothing to do with me.
He said, “M&M is in the hospital-acid trip. They think he may have lost his mind.” Here we go about Cathy and M&M again. Man, I wish he never met that chick. She messed HIS head up. Worse than the acid trip M&M is on.  Cathy’s work on Bryon’s head is really gonna bite me in the butt hard one day.
Whatever man I guess I should sound like I kinda care. So, I said, “Man, that is awful. That poor kid.” That sounded convincing, but I guess not enough because Bryon still had that look on his face. Man, I just want to slap that look off of his face! Ugh, all I could think to say was, “Bryon, don’t look like that. I said I didn’t take them. Don’t you believe me?” He seemed so done, so out of place. I knew he had something to say, so why wouldn’t he just spit it out! Come on Bryon, I wanted to scream! I wanted to walk up to him, slap him and ask him what the heck the matter was and that he better spit it out, but all I could do was stand there and look at him. Look at him as if I didn’t know him as if he were a stranger.
Then, finally, he said, with not a hint of emotion in his eyes or his voice, “I believe you.” That’s it? That’s all I get! Whatever man, I bet if I try to explain why I had the drugs in the first place then maybe I can get that dumb look off his face, and get him to tell me what his problem is.
So, I said, “ We needed the money, you know. I tried getting a job, but with my police record nobody’d hire me. Then I met this guy on the Ribbon-he set me up. I figured I don’t have to take it to sell it, so what’s the worry?” It didn’t seem that he believed me at all.
All he said was, “M&M…” I was stunned. Out of all the drug addicted hippies we knew, this is the one he is so worried about? Must be because it his chicks brother. Has to care for Cathy.
So, I said to him, “Is that what’s buggin’ you? Listen, I didn’t sell M&M anything. He got it from somebody else. Lookit Bryon, they’re going to get it from somebody else if they want it, so why can’t I make some money? I never forced it on anybody. I never tried to talk somebody into using drugs so I could make a buck.” I thought that was enough. I thought that was good enough to explain what I was doing. I thought he would understand, but he still has that look on his face. Not that look where they look at you and think you are a stranger, but the look someone gives you when they think you are a criminal.
I didn’t know what to say. He really was making me feel bad about selling the drugs. I was so frustrated. All of a sudden I cry out, “ Bryon, what is it? Listen, if it bugs you that much I will quit. I will stop selling if you don’t like it. Shoot, I never thought it would bother you. I sort of thought you knew.” Come on Bryon! You’re breaking me! The look on your face, the lack of emotion, what did you do? What’s your problem! Spit. It. Out! I wanted to scream those words so much at him.
I was going to, but he got to the words before me, “I called the cops.” he said. I froze. I was shocked, my best friend, my brother, who I loved so much, ratted me out?
How could he! I felt the rage bubbling up inside me, but all that came out was a soft, wimpy, “What?” Then I realized I’m screwed! I started to freak. I started to plead with him, “What did you say?” The sirens, no, they're here. “Bryon, you know that something like this would do to me with my record. Bryon, tell me your lyin’.” I was hoping he was wrong. I was hoping that the cops were in the neighborhood for something else. Like those stumbling, drunken men I saw on my way home. No! The police are supposed to arrest them! Not me! No! When I finally realized that I was just as bad, no worse, than those drunken bums I saw, I started to shake. All I could think was not me, please, not me, as I sat down in a chair in the room. The last thing I said to Bryon, when I loved him, was, “Why are you doing this to me, buddy? Bryon, just tell me.”
I never got an answer from him. He talked to the police about everything I did. The drugs, and selling them. Mama, she just stood in the corner softly sobbing. The police cuffed me and took me away. As I exited the home that I loved so much in my life, the home that I spent so much time in with the one I thought was my brother, I realized who the person I hated the most in the world was. The person I lived the longest with. Bryon. I will never forgive him for hurting me the way he did. I will never let anyone who ever hurts me that bad, be forgiven. He is no longer family, he, is the enemy.
Huh, I guess Cathy really did mess Bryon up. The only way for him to scratch that itch, was for me to be taken away. I hate him. I will never go back to him. He’s just as dead to me as my parents were when they were laying on the floor, bleeding to death. I wish that was Bryon. One day it will be. I will make sure of it because I will be the one pointing the gun…