Ned Dunkle was a 13 year old kid in the 1970’s. He has brown eyes, pale white skin, and a haircut that resembles a bowl. Even though he might not be the strongest physically or mentally, he has memorized every line from his favorite comic book: his first edition volume 2, chapter 5 Spider Man comic. His voice cracks during every phrase.
Ned had always been obsessed with Spider Man. Each day, he would try to concoct new ways that he could become Spider Man. At first, he tried to create gadgets that would emulate Spider Man’s abilities. The first thing he made was an invention which would emulate the web shooters. It was composed up of string, a paper clip, and a rubber band, and ended up poking his friends eye out. He then stuck magnets in his socks and gloves to try to climb on his house. He ended up falling and breaking his legs. He then realized that in the comics, inventions could never compete with Spider Man’s true power. So, he decided that he would have to get lucky after getting bit by a spider.
Every day after that, Ned would go into the forest in search of spiders. He captured them and forced them to bite him. Ned would yell out his favorite catchphrase, “With great power comes great responsibility” before agitating the spider enough for it to bite him. Ned did this each day for a couple years until one day. Ned ran across the wrong spider. Ned had found a spider that didn’t look like the other ones and it bit him. His fingers began to tingle, his muscles began to spasm, his vision became blurry. “It’s happening,” Ned screamed in joy as he squirmed on the ground. However, Ned wasn’t becoming Spider Man. The venom of the spider gave him a heart attack and he was slowly dying from the inside.
Ned opened his eyes to a white room filled with doctors. The doctors told him that he had just woken up from a 10 year coma. Because of this incident, Spider Man comics and TV shows became non-existent. Ned became infamous. He was known as “The Kid Who Ruined Spider Man.” Ned ended up living in his mom’s basement, only going outside to water his turnip garden.
That was 3 years ago. Ned’s has become as pale as a ghost, scrawnier than a toddler, and his eyes have adjusted to the constant darkness that he lived in. Ned has grown a long, scraggly beard and his hair covers his eyes, making him look like a hippie. He has given up all hope of becoming Spider Man. Instead of eating his previously favorite food Spider Man shaped macaroni and cheese, he eats Shrek shaped macaroni and cheese. Every day, he sits on his bean bag chair staring out at his turnip garden wondering if he will ever be able to go outside without people recognizing him. He talks to his friends over MySpace. Johnny is a professional gamer who goes by the name “jdog8746.” His other friend Alfonso is a master hacker who is known as the “Hash Slinging Hacker.” His last friend is a social experimenter who goes by the name “Joeysalads.” Ned complains every day that his life is ruined and that he will never be the same. He believes that the world is against him. Joeysalads always reminds him that there is always someone that has done something way worse than what he did.

When the leafs start to fall, it means that Ned can start to harvest his turnips. This is the most time that Ned spends outside, which usually results in a really bad sunburn. Ned was always amazed that a little seed could blossom into a delicious, mouth-watering turnip. Ned believed that he was a turnip. One day he would blossom and turn into the hero he always wanted to be.

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It seemed liked Ned would never leave the black hole of his mother’s basement. However, his friends never gave up on persuading him to experience the outside world. They came over every other day and had a similar conversation.
“Ned, it has been 13 years since the incident,” Johnny said for the third time this week. “Everyone has forgotten what happened a year ago.”
“I haven’t,” moans Ned, too stubborn to listen.
“Come on Ned, get up,”  Alfonso now picks up Ned like a wet noodle. “You can’t live here forever.”
“As long as I have my turnips and my mom, I will be fine,” Ned wriggles free and drops to the ground. Ned crawled to his bed, pulled the covers over his head, and screamed with a sassy attitude, “Maybe it’s time for you guys to leave.

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The next morning, Ned woke up to silence. Complete silence. Usually, Ned’s mom stomps down the stairs, throwing turnips at his bed, and yells, “Get up you filthy rat.” But today, nothing. Ned creeped up the stairs, turnips in hands. Ned slowly opened the door connecting the basement to the kitchen. He tip-toed across the chilly tile making sure to make as little noise as possible. He searched the entire house for answers, but nothing. No one was there. “Mom must of went to the store and forgot to tell me,” Ned thought over and over, doubting it more and more each time he thought about it. Ned returned to the kitchen and saw a note. Ned read the note, thinking that it was from his mom. But it wasn’t. It read, We have taken your mother. Meet us in the abandoned hotel across the street from the mall, at night, in three days. Ned collapsed to the ground in agony. How was he, an anorexic stick figure with the courage of a kitten, suppose to rescue his mom. However, at that very moment, Ned was engulfed in a feeling of determination to save his mom.

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Ned ran down to the basement and began to work on a plan. Ned created homemade workout equipment and began to work out. The smell of sweat filled every corner of the house. Like magic, he was able to gain muscle at an astounding rate. Ned flexed his muscles, and his shirt exploded into a million strands of thread. He knew that eating all those turnips would help him one day. On the morning before the meeting, Ned packed a bag with the essentials: rope, safety scissors, a juice box, and of course turnips. Ned knew exactly what to do.

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Night was falling. Ned walked down the street. It was unusually quiet for this time of night. The only thing Ned could hear was his heart pounding. No one was in sight. Every store he walked by was locked up, even the fast food joints. No cars passed by during his journey. Ned spotted the building and walked in.
All the lights were off. “Anyone there?” Ned asked an empty lobby. No answer. Ned traveled deeper and deeper into the hotel. All the rooms seemed empty and locked. Ned finally stumbled across an unlocked room. As he looked through the crack of the door, he noticed a shadowy figure standing in the corner. He slowly opened the door. Creeek. No response. “Hello sir,” Ned said nervously, knowing something bad was going to happen. Still, no response. Ned snuck up behind the figure and tapped him on the shoulder. Still no response. Then, Ned realized that this wasn’t a person. It was a mannequin.

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“CUUUUUT,” yells out a voice from behind a wall. A wall collapses and a movie studio appears. Ned saw his friends and his mom, along with a film crew. His friends Joey, Alfonso, and Johnny had saved up enough money by winning every gaming competition, hacking the pentagon, and creating the best social experiment to hire a director and buy an entire town so that Ned could star in his own turnip based superhero movie. Ned, overcome with joy, fell to the ground.
“Ned, are you alright,” says a voice from a distance.
Ned rolls over. Trees surround him and he can hear an ambulance in the background. Eight tiny legs scurry across Ned’s face and into the forest. Darkness envelopes Ned and brings him back to the hotel.