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Adventures of Jewisa Ludge
Jewisa Ludge is no ordinary seventeen year old girl from Ann Arbor. Standing about five foot ten inches with brown, curly hair, brown eyes, and cheeks like a chipmunk, she’s not your average white girl. Her two biggest passions in life are farming and her religion Judaism. She hopes to become a Rabbi farmer when she is older. She is also an avid rock collector because she feels that rocks will be the one of the keys to success in life. This description might make her sound like a boring teenage girl, but she has experienced an adventure very few people have.
It all started one normal fall afternoon, Jewisa had just finished reading the Torah and was beginning her daily work of tending the corn. Her farm was very large, there was a smell of manure in the background. You could hear the constant sound of farm animals wherever you went. The field of corn seemed like it was bigger than the Pacific Ocean. With the sun rising in the early morning, a peculiar white van rolled up to her farm. The man in the driver’s seat goes by the name of Zayn Crust. He is thirty-five years old, but he looks like he’s eighty-five due to the fact he smokes twelve packs a day. He claims to have several girlfriends that keep him company, and he wanted Jewisa to be one of them. Jewisa saw a sign on his van that said “Free Hanukkah Dreidels” and she had to go check it out. Hanukkah is definitely her favorite time of the year so the free dreidels caught her eye real quick. She slowly walked over to the van, each step more suspenseful than the last. As she approached the van, butterflies filled her stomach like a garden. She knocked on the window.
“I’ve been expecting you,” said Zayn.
“I couldn’t pass up an opportunity for free dreidels, I’m running low and Hanukkah is just around the corner,” responded Jewisa.
“They’re in that burlap sack in the back of my van, you can take as many as you like,”
Zayn says with an enormous grin on his face.
Jewisa crawls into the back and goes into the sack. All the sudden, the sack is shut and tied together and Jewisa is trapped inside.
“HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!” yelled Jewisa, “A CRAZY MAN HAS TRAPPED ME!”
Zayn lit a cigarette and drove off. He sped as fast as he could to get to his house. As he was driving, he passed a cop car. Just like that he was being tailed a by red and blue siren. Zayn knew he’d get arrested if the cop heard Jewisa screaming in the back seat. So his only option was to press on the gas. The van maxed out at a speed of about 110 mph and Zayn was pushing that limit. A few minutes had gone by and the cop was still chasing him. Jewisa had a mild concussion from the constant banging of her head against the floor from all the bumps they hit at that high speed. In the horizon, Zayn saw a pedestrian crossing the road, and she looked to be approaching her upper 80’s in age. But Zayn refused to stop for anything. Zayn absolutely obliterated the old lady and didn’t even blink. The cop decided to stop and help the old lady instead of trying to catch Zayn so he was off the hook.
Once they finally arrive at the house, Zayn grabbed the sack and threw it inside. He opened it up to find Jewisa knocked out. He waited a few hours until Jewisa woke up and when she finally did wake up, she opens her eyes to Zayn two inches away from her face, giving her a seduction stare.
“You’re finally up, I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life,” Zayn said in a low monotonous voice.
“Wha.. where am I? Who are you? What is this place?” said Jewisa with a quiver of fear in her voice.
“This is my seduction chamber, this is where I take all of my future girlfriends.”
“Future what??? No way I would ever think about being your girlfriend. First of all, you look like you’re two times my age, and second I’m in a relationship with God.”
“Well you’re not leaving this chamber under ANY circumstances until you fall for me, and I know you will.”
“There is nothing you could possibly do to make me want to even do as much as look at your disgusting face.”
“We’ll see about that.”
For the next 72 hours, Zayn tortured Jewisa with anything he could think of, but she still wouldn’t crack. He whipped her, tazed her, stabbed her. He even shaved her head, put her hair in a cake and made her eat the cake.
The torture continued and every hour, Jewisa seemed like she was going to crack more and more. On the third day, Zayn was getting very frustrated.
“How have you not cracked yet?! This is the longest I’ve had to torture someone to get them to fall in love with me,” Zayn said angrily.
“I told you before, I will NEVER fall for you,” exclaimed Jewisa.
“I know what will get you,” Zayn said creepily, “I will kill all of your corn and all of your animals on your farm if you don’t love me.”
“No, you can’t do that. You wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh but I will, and you know that.”
“Please nooooooooo,” Jewisa cried.
Then suddenly, the door of the chamber bursts open when a rock is thrown at it. A tall skinny teenage boy with brown hair and blue eyes is standing in the doorway.
“My name is Cool Rock Avery and I’m here to save you Jewisa.”
Jewisa was in shock because she thought her life was over.
“You will never take her from me, she is my future girlfriend!” exclaimed Zayn.
“Bet” says Cool Rock Avery.
Cool Rock picks up the rock he just threw and again throws it at Zayn. It hit him in the head and knocked him unconscious.
“Oh my gosh, that was incredible Cool Rock! How can I ever repay you?” asked Jewisa.
“Please call me CR, and you can repay me with a date.”
So Jewisa Ludge and CR Avery end up falling in love and getting married. Jewisa originally planned to just have a relationship with God her whole life, but she realized she loved CR so she made an exception. As for Zayn, the police showed up to his house while he was knocked out and saw the rest of his “girlfriends” locked up in a cage, so he was arrested and sentenced to life in prison.
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A special lady in my life along with a special Korean friend of mine inspired me to make this incredible story.