All in All | Teen Ink

All in All

June 13, 2019
By shaelh18 BRONZE, Farmington, New Hampshire
shaelh18 BRONZE, Farmington, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

She’s now gone. I’ve lost my prized possession and my one and only. I should be happy I kept her for this long and I should have known she was going to find out at some time but I didn't think it would be so soon. I can still remember finding the letter she wrote to me asking me why she can't leave the house at only 5 years old and her face so long because she couldn't be like all the rest of kids and go outside. I would cheer her up every day until she came to the realization that this is going to be her life and she better get used to it. Her everyday routine was wake up, get her vitals checked, school work, read, lunch, school work, read some more and then spend time with me, her mother.

A few months earlier

I was checking Maddie's vitals today like her nurse Carla always does. I decided to take the day off today to spend some time with my sweet Madeline. I often take days off to spend time with her because I’m worried she will get too depressed or find out the truth about her. We play normal games like Scrabble and Pictionary but with a twist because we find it more fun. We always catch ourselves getting cramps in our stomachs because we've been laughing so hard at each other's answers or drawings. Oh, how I love my sweet Madeline.

 

A moving truck pulls up a little bit past our house and a whole family jumps out. A mom with so much defeat in her eyes, a daughter, a teen maybe, looking sweet and nice but has a rebellious side, a father who looks like he rules the house no matter what, and lastly the son. He looks emo almost, wearing all black from head to toe walking around so light on his feet like he's walking on clouds. They all get out of the truck one by one and stare at the house.

“Welcome home!”

 

 

 

A few days have past and my Maddie seems awfully distant and quiet lately. She hardly comes out of her room and still hasn't finished her architecture project yet. Why is she so distant? Is she going through a teenage crisis? Did I do something?

Once a week we watch a movie together. From sad romcoms to make-you-laugh-till-you-pee comedies. But tonight she canceled on me. She told me she needs to study for her math test she has tomorrow and it's very important that she passes the test. I let it go but it's still swarming around in my head. Why so distant?

Another night passes by and she cancels on our “mother and daughter cooking night.” Something is up with her and I’m worried. Something is distracting her and I hope it's just a really good book or some school work but I’m afraid that’s not what it is.

Maddie is out in the kitchen with her tutor when I decide to snoop on her computer and see if anything on there will give me a lead onto why she is not being herself. As I walk into her room I notice her computer is open and still on. I take a seat in front of her computer to see a bunch of emails between her and some genericusser033@gmail.com. But before I could look at those she has a draft going to send to that person.

 

 

 


She probably met this kid on social media and might be helping her with math. She struggles in math and always has. She loves to read though. You can catch her reading a book no matter what. If there is a zombie apocalypse going on outside, you will see her snuggled up in her chair reading a new book that she doesn't probably like but still wants to finish.

I save the draft and start to look through the emails. There has to be at least 100 emails between Maddie and some random person. Who is this person? Is this why she's been so distant? Does this random person know about my secret I’m keeping from her? I need to do some more digging.

 

Madeline: Hi neighbor:)

Olly: I see you saw my email written on my window and took it into your own hands... what if I didn't write my email for you?

Madeline: Why would you write your email on a window facing my room if it wasn't intended for me?

Olly: You got me there...

Olly: Me and my sister brought you a bundt cake yesterday as a gift but your mom declined our offer...why?

Madeline: Idk, she's like that sometimes but it was a nice gesture, Thank you.

Olly: It wasn't any good anyways...probably better off you didn't take it. It's used more as a weapon than something to eat because it's so damn hard.

Madeline: Haha...

Olly: So tell me a little bit about yourself? Fast 5?

Madeline: yea sure...

Olly: okay...color, book, hobby, subject, game.

Madeline: Blue, Flowers for Algernon, reading, architecture and scrabble.


I'm baffled. This is what has been so distracting to her. A boy who she will never be able to see in person and break her heart. A boy who is living a normal life while she is living anything but a normal life. I can't let her get hurt by him. I can't let this go any longer but how am I supposed to stop it without her knowing I snooped through things. Tonight I'll sit her down and have a talk with her and see if she mentions anything about it.


I get an emailed receipt from an online clothing store. It has at least 5 different colored shirts, all differently cut. Maybe she's just trying to switch things up a bit and feel more “alive.”

 

 

 

 


We just got done eating dinner and she starts to head up to her room again. I stop her before she can get to the first step and ask her if we can talk. We sit down on the couch and as I begin to talk we here yelling. It's coming from outside, and its two male voices and a woman sobbing. We both forget about what we sat down originally for and jump up to head to the window. You see the teenage boy guarding his mother hollering in his drunk dads face. The daughter is standing in the doorway watching it all go down like she's seen it a million times. Maybe she has seen it a million times? The father and son are still exchanging words in a screaming fashion and are getting closer like they are going to put their hands on each other. I turn to see Madeline's reaction, and she is no longer next to me.

I hear the airtight locked door open, swish, and shes out the door. What possessed her to do this?! I’m chasing her out the door trying to catch up to her but she's already over with all the chaos. It was all in a slow-motion-hit-the-pause-button-moment. This boy got to my daughter's heart. I can not let this happen again. Instead of having a little talk about her distantness lately, it will now be a very long talk about the same thing with many punishments.

As I grab her arm she pulls away from me and runs towards the father and son.


“Olly are you okay?”

“Go back inside you can't be out here!”

“No! Are you okay?!”

“Madeline I’m fine now go back inside right now!”


All those emails were with Olly, the- boy-next-door-stealing-my-daughters-heart-Olly. We talk as soon as we get inside. Not on the couch or anywhere comfy but right in front of the doorway. Her laptop, gone. Her Olly, gone. Oh, and Carla, gone too because she was the one that allowed that Olly in the house more than once. Everything that Maddie wants is gone for a good time. A new nurse, books, and school and me is all she will be seeing and getting for a while. I can’t believe all that has actually happened.

I was more than livid when I found out Carla let Olly into the house. Not just once but multiple times. Carla lost all my trust after that. She knew I would never ever allow that and she knew it wasn't a good thing to do. Her only excuse was “just because you can't experience everything, doesn't mean you can't experience anything” and “life is a gift. Don't forget to live it.” I don't care if I have to let Carla go, Madeline's best friend, it was the worst possible thing she could have done. She brought Madeline a step closer to leaving me which cannot happen.

 

 

 


It's been about a month and I gave her the laptop back as long as she is only using it for school. She seems to be doing better and seems to be over that Olly boy and has come to the realization that leaving the house will never happen again. She is getting her work done on time and is spending almost every night with me playing games or watching movies unless she has to finish some school work. Things are finally going back to the way it was and it's a sense of relief.

Tonight we played Pictionary like we used to. Phonetic Pictonary is what we play. It’s different than the original and people probably think we are crazy when we play it but we get a good laugh from playing it. We are both yawning and look half asleep so we head to bed for the night. I really missed the nights like these.

One week later

Oh, my sweet Madeline. She's gone. I found a note quickly written that was slapped on the kitchen table. It said something along the lines that she wants to see the world and she doesn't care if she's sick and said the same exact quote Carla did before she left. She is heading to the land she loves, Hawaii. Her first vacation was there. She is bringing Olly along too. Her and Olly will explore the world together. Her and Olly instead or me and her. It's all her and Olly from now on. I have lost my one and only and she will soon find out her previous life was all a lie. I try calling her, no answer, emailing her, no answer, and texting her, no answer.

I later get an email from her finally. All it says is that she is okay and is loving every second of it and doesn't want to hear from me.

 

 

 

 


“Life is a gift. Don’t forget to live it.”


The author's comments:

Written in the mothers perspwctive of everything everything.


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