Love to Hate Me | Teen Ink

Love to Hate Me

May 20, 2021
By Anonymous

I am a 38-year-old man living in Seoul, South Korea. My name is Minsu Kim and my job is a high school teacher. I met my current wife 10 years ago and had a relationship and loved her passionately. I didn’t think this relationship would last very long, but I loved her so much that suddenly I realized I had a baby, and I married my wife. I lived happily with my wife and had children. But by the time the child was five years old, my wife and I had little quarrels and various conflicts began to arise. As my child grew up, the more often we quarreled. I began to get tired of my wife and became sick and tired of all the arguing. Yeah, I think I've been patient for a really long time. So I started seeing other women without my wife knowing. Among the women I met, there were female coworkers and friends of my wife. The women I met secretly were like a resting place for me. It was different from my wife who was like fire, always trying to fight. As the child became an elementary school student and began to take care of himself, the quarrels with his wife decreased to some extent. 

I thought my relationship with my wife would gradually recover, but I began to notice a student in one of the class students I taught. Her name is Lee Yu-jin. She was as shy as a cat, hesitant to interact. Her hair, wavy like the ocean, gently brushes against her shoulder as she independently works on the assignment.  So I've been keeping her in my sight for a while now. I called her to the teacher's office the next day. Concerned, she asked me,

"Why did you call me?" She seemed a little embarrassed, maybe thinking she did something wrong because the teacher called her.


"It's not much,” I said, “but I called you because I was worried because you have seemed distracted in class the last few days."

"Oh, it must have been obvious. I'm sorry...", Yu-jin replied, surprised.

It was a question I asked her roughly, but unintentionally something really happened to her. I felt it might be easier to get closer to her than I thought.

"If you don't mind, can you tell me what happened?" She hesitated at what I said for a moment. She's probably wary of me. "I'm your homeroom teacher, too. I want you to tell me if you’re going through something. And if I can help you, I will.” She listened to me quietly and seemed to be gradually loosening her guard against me. 

Eventually, she slowly began to open her mouth to see if she had made a decision. "That's actually..."

She talked to me carefully. She talked about her family history, saying that her parents divorced when she was young and no one wanted her, so she ended up being raised by her grandmother, who died a while ago, and that she had no place to be, and that she didn't know what to do.

After listening to her family history, I felt sorry for her, but at the same time I felt she was a really good prey to me. I told her right away.

"Yujin, if you don't have a place to stay for a while, would you like to stay at my house?" 

Her eyes grew noticeably as I spoke. "What? But you're married, and you have a wife and a child at home."


I replied eagerly, "There's a small rooftop house that I used to contract, not the house I live in now. How about staying there for a while?"

"I like it, but I'm worried that I'm causing you too much trouble."

"Don't worry about me. I'm your teacher,” I said. “But if any student in my class is having a hard time, of course I should help if I can."

She stared at the ground for a moment."......I'm so worried, but can I do that?"

"Bring your luggage here by tomorrow and the teacher will

 help you organize your things." I gave her a paper with the address of the rooftop. I felt good that things went smoothly. My prey. She, in a word, came into the tiger's den.


The next day after school, I went to the rooftop room first and waited for her. She was walking up the stairs with a suitcase in both hands. I hurried up to her and snatched her suitcase and picked it up.

"Oh, thank you," she said, out of breath.

"You're welcome. Let's get our stuff together first.” She and I unpacked step by step. She began to look at me as she cleaned up her luggage. I could feel her eyes burning my face as I moved some blanket from under the bed.

Suddenly, I noticed she was beginning to get closer to me. 

“Do you have anything to say?" I asked her. 

She replies, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know, but I keep looking at your face.” When we were in the meeting she was being shy but now she is so different. She no longer is the quiet kitten, but instead she seems to be the big cat now. 


This is my chance. I told her right away. "I like you. Yujin, do you want to date me?"

Shocked, she asked, “What…? What did you say?"

I kissed her before she could say anything else.

She seemed embarrassed when I first  kissed her, but soon after, she accepted me and we had a strong kiss. I slowly grabbed her chin and carefully advanced on her. Then our lips touched and her soft and tender lips touched my tongue and lips. 

Starting that day, we got closer and deeper into each other. I really didn't know until now that she was not my prey, but I was her prey. She looked very timid, but she wasn't. This relationship started with me, but she became more active as I approached her. Maybe that's why this relationship progressed faster.


3 months after I met her, she became obsessed with me. I can't stay with her because I'm a man with a family, so she called me and texted me countless times. One day I went home early and she looked for me like a dog in a hurry. I couldn’t help but be annoyed by that. It's really a big deal if my wife sees this! What would my wife think about this? Yu-jin would keep texting me about when I would be home and I repeatedly told her to stop because I would be coming soon. 

Once, I didn't see her call me and she ran all the way to my house. And she angrily said, 

"Why don't you see my call? Did you hate me? You said you liked me. Are you going to leave me and be happier with your wife?"

I sighed. "It's not like that. I've told you several times to wait calmly. Hurry up and go back. What if my wife sees you like this?"


"Is that important now? I don't care if your wife sees me or not. Don't ignore my call."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'll keep in touch with you, so go back quickly. I'll get back to you," I promised.


Her behavior gradually crossed the line and eventually revealed her obsession with me at school. At school, when I was talking to other female teachers or girls, she stepped in and interrupted me at some point. And she said to me, "Don't think about being with other women," and she said, "You can kill them all." I was getting tired of her and annoyed by her. She's a good girl, but it's very annoying if she comes out like this. It's just a distraction.


By this time, my wife, I feared, seemed to have noticed that I had another woman. So I decided that I needed to end this fiery relationship in order to save my sanity. I called Yu-jin on the 4th month after I met her.

"Yujin, it's me." I said nervously.

"Yes, babe! When are you coming? I'm waiting for you because I am going to make a lot of food that you like today! Let's have dinner together!" She excitedly said.

I lowered my voice. "Yujin, let's end this relationship." 

Silence. 

"...w-w-w-what did you just say?"

"Let's break up."

"Why...? What's the reason? I still love you so much, and I love you to death, what's the problem? You got another girl, right? Is that so? Or is your wife better again?"

I waited. "It's not like that. Yu-jin, I just don't love you anymore."

I waited for the fiery response. "You're lying, aren't you...? Say no. Come on. I can't do this. No... there's no way you don't love me...You still love me, don't you? Right? Say no." Words just kept coming out of her mouth.

I started to get annoyed again. "How many times do I have to say it? I don't love you anymore. So let's break up. Just keep the rooftop room you live in now. I don't want to get involved with you anymore, so let's stop. I'm hanging up now. Do not call me again."


That's how I felt when I told her goodbye. I realized a lot from this incident. And I was thankful to my wife. Why didn't I know so far? Actually, my wife was the one who liked me, trusted me, and loved me the most. From this point on, I decided I would not meet other women and live my life faithfully to my family. 


After breaking up with her, I got a lot of calls from her, but I ignored everything. It wasn't surprising that her reaction was this strong. The school reduced the contact point with her as much as possible. Nevertheless, she kept talking to me, but I continued to ignore her. I kept ignoring her and it seemed like she stopped trying to talk to me. To be exact, she stopped coming to school.


A month later, things had calmed down and I was living a comfortable life. I started to forget about things. One night, I was having dinner with my family after a long time, and I kept getting calls from a familiar number. It was her. I tried not to answer the phone, but then I got a text from her.

Just once...please answer the phone once, the text said. Her words sounded pretty desperate. She called again and I answered her phone.

"...Hello."

"I miss you...I want to see you very much. I still love you, my teacher. Please come back."

I quickly replied, "If you're going to say any more nonsense, I'll hang up."

"Wait a minute. Let me ask you one question,“ she said.  “Do you love me?"

I didn’t hesitate. "I told you that day. Not anymore."

Silence. Then, she hung up on me. What? This is so annoying. And 10 minutes later, she called again. I answered the phone, reluctantly.

"What the hell? Stop calling me."

I hear hesitation on the other line. "...do you love me?"

"Are you actually crazy? Why are you doing this to me? I'm so sick of you."

Then again she hung up on me. I thought to myself, I'm so unlucky today. How did I get involved with her? It's really all my fault. I really shouldn't have cheated on my wife again.


A week later, spring vacation started and I was resting at home after a long time, but I got a call from an unknown number.


"Hello, is this Mr. Kim Min-soo?"

"Yes, who is calling?" I asked.

"My name is Lee Jin-woo, a detective working at the Seoul Police Station. I'm calling to ask you something about an incident. Can you come to the station right now?"

"Yes, sir." I quickly replied, hung up and hurried to the station. What the hell is going on?

After 30 minutes, I arrived at the police station and found detective Lee Jin-woo who called me.

He started, "I'm sorry for contacting you all of a sudden, but I'll get to the point first because it's urgent and related to you." The detective handed me a picture. And there was a familiar girl in the picture. "You know the girl in the picture, right?"

It was a small face shot of Yu-jin, with her long and wavy hair. "Yes, I do. Did something happen to her?" I was worried.

"First of all, can you explain how you know her?"

I explained to the detective what she did to me about my relationship with her. "I see. Actually, she's been missing for a month."

I was in shock. "... she is missing?"

"Yes, and a week ago, her body was found hanged on a tree in a hill."

"What? Yujin is dead?" I began to sweat. 

"Yes, and there was her cell phone next to the body that was found, and when I looked into it, there was a record of her calling you at 9:27 p.m. and this was a week ago."


"Yes, she definitely called me around that time," I responded.

"What kind of conversation did you have?" the detective asked.

"I'm sure that's when she asked me if I still love her. So I told her I didn't love her anymore and she hung up on me. 10 minutes later, she called me again and asked the same question.”

He seemed confused. "Wait, wait, you got another call 10 minutes after?"

"Yes, it's clear,” I replied. “There should be a record for my cell phone calls."

"That's ridiculous. When we performed an autopsy on her body, the results showed that she died at 9:30. So when she called you the second time, she was already dead."

"What...?" Now I was the confused one. 

The detective continued. "She seems to have made the last call to you, made sure you really didn’t love her anymore. I think she loved you so much that she wanted to ask you again one final time before just to make sure there wasn’t a chance you still might love her.”



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