The dust on my shelf lies there. It doesn’t move. It just lies there. It knows its presence enrages me. It knows I try to get rid of it everyday. It knows I want nothing to do with it. But no matter what, it stays there.

August 14th of 2009 stays in my brain. It just stays there. It never left, no matter how hard I try.

The stained pistol sits atop of my fireplace, covered in soot. The fireplace gleams an incandescent glow, single-handingly illuminating the darkness of my house. I pick up the pistol, attempting to erase the dark soot from my gadget. No matter how hard I rub, the darkness of the soot envelopes my pistol. I keep attempting to get rid of it, but it stays there, filling my veins with pain and shame. I head toward my back door, grabbing my almost-faded camouflage jacket. The coffee stains leave a dark brown color on the right sleeve, defeating the purpose of its camouflage. I search for my headwear, but it is nowhere to be found in my closet. I slowly tip-toe up my staircase. Each step I take lets out a loud creak. I try to make it stop, but the creaks don’t listen to me. They just keep on pushing my voice away and continue creaking. 

“STOP!” I scream at the staircase. They continue to creak. Louder and louder. I take another step. CREAK. 

“MAKE IT STOP!” But the stairs won’t listen to me. The voices in my walls get louder. I feel something creep up my spine. It grabs my hair and starts tugging it. I push and resist and scream. Nothing works. It is getting to me. I dash up the rest of the creaking steps, grab my headware, and sprint downstairs. But it pulls my hair again. This time, harder. It covers my mouth and yanks my arms. I close my eyes. I feel the tugs and the stabs inject into my skin. There is no strength left that my helpless soul can afford to use. I surrender and open my eyes. But there is nothing there. I am all alone with just my mind. There are no signs of bruising or stabs on my skin. I have all my protective gear on, so I continue to my doorway and stepp into my yard, prepared to fight any demons I find in there. The yard has tall trees, that sway to the music of mother nature and her wind. They dance with the birds and the bushes. The sky is a bright shade of blue and the clouds add the perfect touch of white. The sun rays stare directly into my flesh, injecting its heat rays into me to balance out the wind chills. The wind chills start to get stronger, infecting my skin with goosebumps the same way guilt consumes a soul. It is as if a shadow of a man starts to appear among the trees. Is it my time? Has he come for me? The clouds start to cover the clouds and I can feel the entrance to hell opening beneath my feet. Thunder starts to pour from the sky. My eyes start to leak acid droplets and my breaths starts to sound painfully similar to those of a corpse. It is my time. I feel the wind lift me up then drop me hundreds of thousands of feet down into the dark gateway. I hold my mouth shut with my hands, but it does nothing to prevent the ferocious roar that I was about to erupt. My vocal cords cannot prepare for its greatest amount of force. My scream surges through the city. I suddenly feel strong tugging. But it is not on my feet, or my arms. It is on my shoulders. I slowly open my tightly shut eyes, expecting the devil himself to be standing in front of me with his large horns. But it is worse than that. It was my boyfriend: Kory. We make eye contact as I stare directly into his wonderous ocean eyes. Then I look around me. Where is the fire? Where is the man? Where is hell? Have I finally gone insane? 

After the incident, I take a small step into my clean shower, letting the hot water run over my body. I pick up the white lufa and let its roughness scrub against my skin to cleanse myself. I make sure to cleanse myself well, so I xan feel purified and clean of my sins. I look down at the shower floor, seeing the water run into the drain, until I see a shadow. It was the shadow of the same man from the trees. Has he come to punish me for my infidelity? Has he come to get justice for August 14 2009? I feel my exhales come before my inhales. Before I could feel the adrenaline rush through my veins, gravity betrays me and my head bangs on the drain, filling my once transparent water with vermillion coloring. The force of the bang is strong enough to shut the drain and prevent any water from draining. I am fast asleep on the shower floor with my heart dropping faster than the water rising. I am aware of what is happening, but I cannot do anything to get myself out of it because my body refuses to wake up. I can feel my heartbeat slowing down and sweat starts running down my face as I get lost in my own thoughts. What do I do? Am I dyi-.

14 years earlier…

It’s the summer of 2009 and the Sun is shining its brightest and the fresh breeze blows against my face. Nothing feels better than dipping your feet into the cold pool in your boyfriend’s yard when it is ninety degrees outside. I smell the chlorine and feel the water get colder and colder as my foot reaches the bottom. As I step in, I tip-toe to the middle where he is standing. He opens his arms and I prepare myself for a hug. But instead his arms scoop up some water and he throws it at me. I laugh and throw it back at him. Everything is going right. We go inside and his mom makes us some fruit smoothies. He looks down at me with his big green eyes. The gust of wind from the open window pushes his bright blonde hair to the side of his head. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box, smiling at me. The velvet red box contains a golden necklace, with a Sun pendant. He reaches around my hair and puts it on me. 

A few weeks pass by and August arrives. We go out for late night drives and gaze at the constellations. The big dipper is brighter than ever and the North Sar shines into his eyes. We get back into the car and start to drive back to his house. As we drive, we laugh and sing along to all the Taylor Swift songs on the radio. We approach his street, and I smell a peculiar smell. Is it roasting marshmellows? I begin to get excited. Smores is exactly what I need after a long night of stargazing. We get closer to his house and suddenly my excited smile turns into the largest fright face. I start screaming. I could feel my heart pounding through my body. I begin to feel light-headed and nothing feels real. I watch as his green eyes turn wide and his life flashes before him. He jumps out of his car and sprints into his house. I try to scream for him to come back but my state of fear won’t allow me to scream. The house bursts into flames, throwing windows and bricks all around the street. Every neighbor comes out panicked and run away. But I just stay there. I try to look closer. I don’t see him. The firefighters start to pull up. After a few hours, the fire is finally gone. But there is no blonde hair and green eyes to be found. This is all my fault. The firefighter looks at me. He is tall. He has large blue ocean eyes. He looks directly into my eyes and asks me my name while smiling. I tell him. He puts his arm on my shoulder and tries to calm me down. But I won’t stop hyperventilating. His aura pains me but it reels me into a his unfaithful universe. Surrounding him lies deep burgundy dahlias flowers that grow with every step closer to him I take. But the gleaming lavender haze blinds me and all I see is his comforting yet sharp beauty. I fall into his arms and start crying hysterically. I look up at him and see a name tag on his uniform.

“Kory”...written in scarlet letters.