“Always the center of attention, aren’t you?”

“I think you could let me have this one,” I laughed, my voice; hoarse.

“Perhaps. I guess you don’t die every day.”

“Gee thanks,” I applauded. “I’m so glad I have your approval.”

The stranger laughed as he turned to face me, “You are just unbelievably welcome!”

I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m Benjamin. Ben.”

“Oh, I’m…”

“I know,” Ben interrupted. I didn’t respond.

“Hey,” he continued, “Are you okay, Daniel?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. It’s just weird, you know?”

“What’s weird? Your family parading your casket around or the copious amounts of tears at your expense?” Ben teased.

“You know what I mean.”

“Listen, my funeral was hard to watch, too. I hated seeing my mother cry over me. And my little sister, she was devastated. It’s not easy.”

“I know, I just never thought I’d ever have to watch it though. My body is right there and I’m right here.”

Ben sighed, “Separation of soul and body.”

“I’m dead.” I whispered.

“Yeah, you don’t have to watch this, Daniel.”

“N-no. I have to watch. I don’t know why but it’s like I have to.”

“It’s like a magnet,” Ben said softly. 

“What?”

“It’s like a magnet,” he repeats, “pulling you in. You want to look away with every fiber of your being, but your eyes won’t let you.”

“Wow.” I pause. “I didn’t know you were-uhh- poetic.”

He laughed, “I’m serious. I couldn’t pry my eyes away from my funeral. My eyes were watering so bad, I was sobbing like a child. I fell to the ground in pure agony. I wanted to die, but I couldn’t because I was already dead. I was just stuck in this neverending parallel.”

“You are really talking this place up, making it sound like paradise!” I joked.

“No, it is. Heaven’s perfect. You have no problems, no worries, no stressors. You have everything you could ever want yet you’re still left feeling empty. You’re missing something that’s unattainable. Something that’s alive.”

“When you’re alive,” I start, “you don’t think about what’s it, being alive. Like yeah- you think of death and how you’re going to die, but no one ever thinks of after that. What’s after the beeping line stops? What’s after the last breath? You never think that you’ll be watching it all like a spectator waiting to be noticed, because you won’t be. You’ll never be noticed again. I’m left to be entirely invisible forever.”

“He’ll notice you. He will love you. He will tell you everything will be okay. Once you hear him, you’ll understand. You’ll just know.”

I turned towards Ben, “How could you be so sure?”

“I know. I’ve heard him. I know.”

“So, I just wait until he calls upon me? I just wait and I watch?”

“Yes.”

“This is just a waiting room and he’s the doctor. I’ll be waiting here for hours before he sees me and when he does it’ll be for like ten minutes before he sends me on my way with a prescription in hand.”

He nodded with a slight laugh.

“That’s not how it should be! Where’s the pearly gates? Where’s the clouds and the people with wings? Where’s the golden ring that’s supposed to fly around your head?”

“It’s commercialized.”

“What?”

“Heaven is commercialized. Heaven is a feeling, a feeling of freedom. A feeling of relief. You hear the word, ‘finally’ and don’t even understand the meaning till you get here. It’s beautiful Ben. You just have to get there.” Benjamin gets up.

“Where are you going?”

“You’ll see. Soon.”

“But wait! How do I get there?” I shout.

He looks back with one word rolling off his tongue, “Wait.”