The air that greeted my face was very welcoming as I took a deep breath in. It felt good to be away from everyone else. It felt good knowing that I didn’t have to pretend that everything was all right, that I could just not care.


As I turned the corner to the barn, I made a mental list in my head of what I had to do. I had to clean out the back room, sweep the aisles, and sort through some of Father’s things. That was going to be tough. I walked down the barn aisle and I picked up a broom. As I made the rhythmic movements of sweeping, I started to think more and more about my father. Ever since I could remember, my father had always wanted to have horses. That’s all he ever really talked about was horses. The only thing that had made him not rush out and buy a horse was money. Mother always said that horses were too expensive and that they were dangerous animals, but all I saw when I laid my eyes upon one was that I was in the presence of a truly majestic creature. I still remember the first time Father took me to go see a horse. The horse was a dapple grey and it just stood there looking proud and free. I think the truth is that nobody can ever really own a horse; you can’t really put a price on them.


A sudden scratching at the door interrupted my mindless bawling. I turned my head over and got up to get the door. As soon as I turned the handle a furry blur jumped on me. It was my dog Lassie. “Hey there buddy. Come to the rescue again?” I asked. He just looked at me and snuggled in closer to me. His presence just seemed to make me calm down instantly. “What am I going to do? I can’t go back in time.” I exclaimed, absently pulling on Lassie’s white and creamy brown coat. After having Lassie for five years, it was like he knew what I was thinking. “I’m not strong enough Lassie. How can a sixteen year old like me fill in for Father?” I got no answer, only a sad look. I sighed and continued to stroke Lassie’s fur.
I was still sitting down with Lassie when I heard Rebecca calling out of the house. “Eric! Hurry up and get in here,” she called. “Great.” I muttered. I got up and just before I turned the knob to get out it was already opening from the outside. “I said I was…” but it wasn’t Rebecca, it was Matthew and John my two younger brothers. “Eric we need to talk.” Matthew suddenly exclaimed. I was very surprised. They hadn’t talked to me since before Father’s death. With Matt being ten and John seven, what could they possibly want to talk about? “You’ve got to do something about Mother.” Matthew said. I was shocked that they even noticed that there was something wrong with Mother. “Why don’t you ask Rebecca to do something?” “We tried, but she keeps saying that Mother needs time.” John said. “Fine, let me think of something.” I said. I was totally exasperated. Matthew nodded his head and the two of them walked towards the house. After a moment or two I followed.