I remember smiling so big. I remember not noticing the slip from day to night. I remember long driveways. I remember salty skin and wild hair. I remember snuggling so close to your neck. I remember staying up so late. I remember the constant tone and hum of my own happiness. I remember feeling beautiful everyday. I remember those long long long days by the sea. I remember the ecstasy of our first kiss. I remember the bright, beautiful, perfect world of ours.
I remember it all. And I’ve come to the point where I’ve thought maybe, maybe a memory is all you will ever be from this point on. That what I’ve collected in my heart is all the room you will ever have. I’ve accepted reality. It sleeps under my pillows and hides behind the corners of my house. You’re the one boy I love, the one that has sunk into the deepest creases of my bones and heart. You are every thought and dream inside of me, and my aching heart breaks a little more every day we are not together. My day dreams are so brilliant, so real and reassuring, but every time they dissolve, I cannot breathe and feel empty and defeated. And though there is a hope we could survive through all of this to the of our precious dreams, there is an odd that it all might disappear one night. That one morning, I may wake up and not feel it anymore. That one morning, will be the morning we are separated for always. But the sun rises, and I will fall in love again. It’s in my nature.