Pretending | Teen Ink

Pretending

June 19, 2010
By Aidyl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
Aidyl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
4 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you want a friend be a friend.&quot;<br /> <br /> -Poster<br /> <br /> <br /> &quot;That&#039;s cool. Hey you know what&#039;s even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!&quot;<br /> -Dwight Schrute The Office


I open the box.
It’s not something you do in my house anymore. You don’t open boxes, or look at pictures or blow the dust off the covers of old photo albums. Instead you pretend not to see. In the kitchen you act like you don’t see his empty chair, when you walk into the living room you pretend not to notice the gaps on the mantel piece where his picture–our pictures–used to be.
You even pretend not to see the writing on the kitchen doorframe, where we used to mark our heights. Sometimes, when nobody else is home, I sit and look. You can see the heights going up, the traditional monthly measurements going from when I’m very small until I’m bigger, grade 3, 4, 5, 6. That’s where they stop, that’s where my family falls apart, my dad dies and my live changes forever. That’s where we start pretending.
I can’t pretend any longer. You try to act like it didn’t happen, but you can’t. Even though the pictures and birthday cards on gone, there are still little pieces of him everywhere. His clothes are still folded in his drawer, because as much as my mom pretends she’s alright she can’t get rid of them, his camping gear is in the garage, even his sunglasses are still at the back of the drawer under the microwave.
So I open the box. It’s because I’m tired of acting like my dad never died, that he never even existed.
On top is a photo album, it’s bound in blue leather and on it is the word memories, embossed in gold. For a moment I am scared. More scared then I’ve ever been, I think. I want to get up, run, leave the house, the memories, forget. I don’t. Something else overpowers that, and it’s a longing. I haven’t looked at pictures, seen his things, remembered him, in so long. He’s getting farther and farther away, I’m losing him even more.
I take a deep breathe, my head is spinning. I close my eyes tight, so afraid and so desperate, tears slide out from under my lashes. I let the album fall open, for a moment longer I am blinded by tears. Then I look, and I stop pretending.



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This article has 4 comments.


Aidyl BRONZE said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 4:43 pm
Aidyl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
4 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you want a friend be a friend.&quot;<br /> <br /> -Poster<br /> <br /> <br /> &quot;That&#039;s cool. Hey you know what&#039;s even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!&quot;<br /> -Dwight Schrute The Office

Thanks Anne!

Aidyl BRONZE said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 4:01 pm
Aidyl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
4 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you want a friend be a friend.&quot;<br /> <br /> -Poster<br /> <br /> <br /> &quot;That&#039;s cool. Hey you know what&#039;s even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!&quot;<br /> -Dwight Schrute The Office

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment. I'd be happy to take a look at your work. :)

on Sep. 3 2010 at 11:33 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don&#039;t believe in hell but I believe in my parent&#039;s couch-- Watsky

I think this is spectacular- and just the right size.  If it were any longer, it would take away form the story.  I think it's ggod that you made it obvious she embraced the past, but didn't show exaclty whay was there.  Derail- beautiful.  Emotion 11 out of ten- great job.

Can you comment and rate my story , "Encounter"?  I want to see what someone with your talent would say about it.


on Aug. 17 2010 at 8:17 pm
AnneOnnimous BRONZE, Peterborough Ontario, Other
3 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Saying &#039;I notice you&#039;re a nerd&#039; is like saying, &#039;Hey, I notice that you&#039;d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you&#039;d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?&#039; In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even &#039;lame&#039; is kind of lame. Saying &#039;You&#039;re lame&#039; is like saying &#039;You walk with a limp.&#039; Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he&#039;s done all right for himself.&quot;<br /> &mdash; John Green

wow- I love it!! I only wish it was longer.