Sam stared at her spoon drowsily, then took another large spoonful of chocolate ice cream. She sulked and spun the utensil in lazy circles.

Knock, Knock

Slouching further into her soft chair, Sam started sucking on her spoon.

Knock, Knock!

Sometimes, Sam pondered sleepily, some things are best left unanswered.

KNOCK, KNOCK!!!

Sam noticed the sudden lack of ice cream in her dish and supposed she should go replenish her supply.

"Oh goddarn it!" Click, Creeeeeeeek. "Sammy, I let myself in. I know you're home, you haven't left your house in days. Come on out!"
Sonya. Shoot.

"Oh Sammy. What on earth are you doing?"

Sam blinked blearily, wondering if this was a trick question. "…Eating ice cream," she croaked, deciding it was safe.

"You're a mess. Do you know how worried I've been? You've barricaded yourself in your apartment and haven't talked to anyone. Seline is going to fire you again; it's been a week since you last showed up to work. And look at you! Have you even had a proper meal since then?"

Sam wondered when Sonya would leave.

"I'm going to go fix you something, just wait here."

Sam supposed that was okay, and listened to the sounds of Sonya in the kitchen.

"Oh Sammy, what's with all these empty ice cream containers lying around?" Sonya tsked.

Creeeeeek.

"…What on earth is that in your fridge?"

Sam speculated as to what she could be speaking of. "Leftovers, probly," she slurred.

"I think it just moved- Oh god, Sammy, it's looking at me."

Sam came to a slow realization. "Oh, those leftovers. Right… uh, just don't make eye contact. Grab something from another shelf."

Shriek! Slam! Sonya came running back into Sam's living room. "It touched me, it touched me, oh my god, it touched me! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!"

Sam supposed Sonya was just overreacting. "Chill out… just wipe off the slime or something. And, like, burn whatever clothes it got on."

Sonya turned on Sam with the fury attainable only by a concerned best friend covered in the oozing fungus of somehow-sentient leftovers "What on earth is that thing?! Why is it in your refrigerator? And for goodness sakes, how long has it been there???"

"I d'no… three weeks- no wait, months? No, four. Right."

"Four months?" Sonya screeched.

"Yeeeeeeah, give or take, like, two."

"Two what, Sammy? Two what?!"

Sam shrugged stupidly. "D'no."

Sonya put on a face that made her look slightly constipated. Sam feared she might explode.

Creeeeeek.

Instead, Sonya suddenly clung to Sam.

"What was that?!" she hissed.

Sam shrugged unhelpfully.

GROAN, drip, drip.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Sammy, it's coming! It's going to kill us! I'm too young and successful to die!"

"Chill out," Sam drawled, "Lefty's harmless."

The Leftovers slid into the room, and made for Sonya.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH! Sammy, lets go! We need to get out of here! It's going to kill us," Sonya blubbered.

Sam sighed over Sonya's hysterics. "You c'n leave if you wanna. Please."

Sonya suddenly grabbed her arm. "I am not leaving you to get eaten, Sammy! I'll save you!" Sonya tried to yank her up, but failed miserably.

"C'mere lefty, show Sonya some looooove," Sam cooed to her disturbingly cognizant leftovers from four months give or take two ago. It complied and attached itself to Sonya's ankle. She stopped moving as it slowly oozed up to encase her body.

I should go see about some more ice cream, Sam decided. She left, and upon returning, found only her leftovers looking several inches bigger.

"Guess she left," She said to herself. She sat down slowly and started to eat, wondering was what feeling so surreal about the situation.