All I need to know about life I learnt from war…

When under fire, duck. Then shoot back and blow that mangy cur from here to kingdom come.

No one gets left behind. Cliché but true.

When in doubt, call in an airstrike.

Artillery means the difference between life and death. For the wrong side, usually death.

Friendly fire isn’t all that friendly.

Sandbags will become your best friends.

Camo very rarely hides you, and never when you need to hide the most.

Screaming will become normal. When it does, and you no longer respond to it, you can be sure you’re starting to lose your humanity.

Enemies tend to shoot at odd things. Never be or hide behind an odd thing.

A purple heart means that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to do it, and lucky enough to survive.

If you survived a raid, it’s not a good thing.

Your friends are your family, but never, EVER share a foxhole with someone braver than you… Or at least someone who snores.

If you see an officer with a map, make yourself very scarce. Fast.

Don’t smoke. The light in the night is a blatant target for snipers. Besides, sparks and gunpowder don’t mix.

It WILL come back and bite you in the but.

A ten-second fuse will only last five seconds.

A grenade’s exploding range will always be a foot larger than your jumping range.

The supply office has only two sizes: Too large and too small.

Do yourself a favour and don’t play hero.

Need an officer on the double? Play hooky and take a nap.

Never, ever volunteer if you don’t know what the job is. Avoid being volun-told, too. You may just find yourself carrying a flame-thrower.

Never be first or last.

Your enemy will surrender at the least expected of times. Even so, stay on your toes.

There are no atheists in a foxhole.