His chilled fingers slide across my cheek like a feather that has been frozen for many centuries. This nightmare is always the same. I wonder if I will ever escape his grasp. This monster, who I’ve come to call Reddick, is one of my own imaginations but that makes him even more frightening; his personality is almost as horrifying as his appearance.

Reddick’s appearance was ghastly and gruesome. He has pale skin like that of a ghost and his thin, blood red lips are always slightly curve as if he were smiling nonchalantly. The way his eyes pierce me like a hunter’s bow through their prey leave me paralyzed. They looked pale as if the color was faded and covered with a glazed as if he were blind. He stands almost seven feet tall and looks slightly muscular. The skin over his chest cavity is gone and reveals his rib cage and nothing but a black mass inside which I have come to understand is his heart. Upon his chest were what looked like dried, red veins lace through his ribs. He wears a long black coat with red silk lining on the inside on his coat that opens to reveal his entire torso and sleeves that only leave his hands visible. In his right hand he always holds a pure white feather between his index and middle fingers. His black jeans hang loosely on his hips, cover the lengths his legs and leaving half of his feet showing. His feet are cut and bruised as if he were walking through gravel and glass. His appearance is a major aspect of him but it is not the only one.

Reddick’s personality and actions only added to his horrifying appearance. He stands in the darkest parts of my dream where only his face and chest are visible, his nonchalant smile and black heart beating. He stays there taunting me with the knowledge that he was there watching and waiting for the perfect time to approach. If I watch closely then I can catch glimpses of the white feather. Reddick has a clever mind, knowing exactly how to get me on edge as if he were a mind reader searching the deepest parts of my mind. As soon as I let my guard down he silently glides up behind me like death taking its next victim and places one cold, strong hand on my shoulder and the other grips my forearm. Before he speaks aloud, he whispers thoughts of doubt into my mind then his soft angelic voice tempts me with the actions of sin and evil. The way he speaks is like he cares but it’s a false secureness he is creating, so he can trick me into temptation. Soon after he is done speaking he grips me tighter, lifts my wrist to his mouth, and tears open my wrist with his hidden fangs. My blood drips to the ground forcing the memories I kept hidden all these years to surface. After I fall to the cold ground, laying there numb with the pain of memories, he releases me and give a cruel laugh just as Lucifer would do. Reddick’s personality is shown in his actions; I fear him for what he does to me.

I fear Reddick. He is my perfect worst nightmare because all the things I fear are symbolized in him. His blind eyes are my fearfulness of my unseen future and the ghostly white skin is my fear of fading away. His smile represents my smile that I wear through good and bad times. The open chest is the emptiness I feel and the black heart is my feeling of my inability to let love in. His coat is my coat that let everyone see what I want them to see instead of my reality. The white feather is my sanity that I try to keep pure. His bruised bare feet symbolized my walk through life and how it can be rough at times. He holds all my painful memories and knows how to break me down. Reddick, in actuality, is me just taken on in a new form which is why he frightens me so much.

Reddick’s appearance, personality, and actions cause me to fear not only him but also myself for what I see in myself and in him. He is everything I fear and more and until I can change my own self-image he will continue to be my worst nightmare. One day I hope to rid myself of him and the nightmare he creates.