Once upon a time there was a can of soup. Which is me by the way. Cream of Mushroom. I was born..I don’t happen to know exactly when but I’m guessing sometime before February 18th in some year that ends in 15..consitering that’s my expiration date. You know that little group of digits under a can of soup? Yeah I’ve got my ‘best by’ info down pat-Which makes since when there’s a lack of much else to do here. Just sittin.. Just waiting.. I’ve actually happened to forget what it is I’m waiting for.. What is it that a can of soup is to do? What could one be waiting for?

Since being here happens to be boring I’ll just do what everyone else seems to be doing-wait for some grubby human hand to grab me and take me away. Away from this horrible place where other items: spaghetti sauce, Mac and Cheese who scream ‘pick me!’ and they do. Someone’s coming.. Oh look humans! How I want to be taken away! We can have an adventure together just you and me. Oh how I hope it picks me!

My insides! My beautiful, creamy mushroom goodness! It’s been taken away from me. That horrible inconsiderate human! Cutting me open and scooping out my organs with that round metal contraption. Although I can’t think of where in The Factory’s name I could have heard it, I can only think of the song “If I Only Had a Brain”. Which, just as a reminder, I did have one a few moments ago.. or at least a can of soup’s equivalent of one anyways. Those horrible humans! How I despise that disgusting creature that’s heating up my soup! My beautiful soup! And now it’s adding water! Don’t contaminate my bowels you horrid creature!

Could it be that this was all I was meant for? Being stored on a shelf until my organs are harvested and I’m left with this lonely emptiness? And look at that human-descended from monkeys I think not! Monkeys are kind, considerate creatures, always willing to help each other get the bugs from one another’s backs. But these-no! These are no monkeys! These are descendents of pigs! Oh how it sits there slurping my insides (the manner less thing doesn’t even care to use a napkin)right in front of me. Well.. not right in front of me considering it threw me in this bin full of trash once I served my purpose. Oh! Someone’s coming! The bag-it’s being lifted! I’m leaving! Maybe I will finally have my adventure but this time new rules: no humans.