In the toddler years of time, the earth was composed of almost entirely water. The shimmering liquid remained in a constant state of inaction, aside from spontaneous ripples created by surfacing creatures. All water was one connected energy, teeming with life and spirit, all the while resembling a solid, flawless mirror. For many years, Man respected the stillness of the water, praising the gods’ generosity and compassion as they caught bountiful nets of the most beautiful, delicious fish imaginable. There was one man, however, who disregarded the plentiful supply of food and denied to take in the gorgeous, still water for the masterpiece it was. Vincent was too preoccupied with his reflection on the crystal water to fully appreciate its beauty.

Rather than hunt and supply the tribe as the other men did, Vincent sat from sunrise to sunset gazing at his image, taking in his appearance from every possible angle and in every possible light. His favorite time of day to view himself was just as the sun began to cower behind the distant horizon- he enjoyed the pinpricks of the descending sun’s rays sparkling the water that surrounded his reflection’s face.

Vincent’s girlfriend, Amelia, envied the ocean waters for the time Vincent spent looking into them. She attempted daily to peel him from his obsession with his vain habit, but all of her schemes and plans of getting him to look up at her were futile. By nature Amelia believed in the good in people, but she saw him as selfish and obviously self centered, with no respect for her feelings whatsoever. One day, as an intensely frustrated Amelia returned disappointed to her hut, she came to a decision.

I’ve given him one chance every day to better his character by noticing someone other than himself, she thought. Tomorrow will be the true test. If he fails, he’ll regret his vanity dearly. The next day, Amelia walked down to the shore line, as usual.

“Vincent. How are you this beautiful day?” she asked, standing next to him. Vincent continued to stare at himself in the gleaming water, transfixed by his image gazing back. It was his favorite time of day; the water seemed to be bursting with sunlight. “Vincent, I’m talking to you,” she declared. Nothing. “Vincent, I love you,” she whispered. Nothing.

“That’s it!” Amelia screamed, taking two steps and plunging into the water.

As Amelia sunk to the bottom of the ocean, Vincent stared in awe at how beautiful he looked as the waves caused by her jump made sparkles of sunlight dance across his image. About five minutes passed with no resurfacing of Amelia, but Vincent failed to notice. Suddenly, out of nowhere, something burst from the liquid glass, shooting upward and landing at his feet. For the first time in his life, Vincent tore his eyes from his reflection in response to someone.

“It’s too late now! You’ve had your chances!” the woman from the ocean shouted.

“Amelia?” Vincent asked, awestruck at this woman’s beauty.

“Vincent, I am the Goddess of the Sea. I was only disguised as the mortal Amelia in order to test your character. Time and time again, you failed. You couldn’t even get over yourself as your girlfriend drowned! I don’t want anyone abusing the beauty of these waters as you have, so I’ve devised a punishment for you to solve this problem forever: you are going to sit on the ocean floor and generate waves with your tentacles, constantly rippling the mirrored surface so no one can become as vain as you have been.”

“I…I don’t have any tentacles!” stammered Vincent.

“I can fix that,” she sneered.

To this day, Vincent sits on the floor of one of the oceans, waving his tentacles and generating the constant waves that crash into beaches around the world. Attempts to uncover his location have failed miserably, but there are occasional stories from fishermen of sightings.