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A Letter to my Neighbor
Dear darling, darling neighbor:
I notice you have new a dog, how wonderful! However, it is 11 at night. In your words (those words you yelled out your window at me just weeks ago?) "I need my beauty rest." My dad and I have been up since 7 am, and I have had to get two suitcases, a roll walker, two carry ons and wheelchair out of a hotel, into a taxi, through the airport, and the entire scenario reversed once more when we arrived home. Which proved to be rather difficult, as we had to board a shuttle bus that was already quite full even without all of the items listed above.
In short, we've had a very long day, and are a bit tired.
Let's take a moment to recall the situation that occurred on the eighth of December of last year when you'd left my dad three quite hostile messages and also saw fit to lean out of your window to shout rather rudely at me for shoveling the snow at the early hour of 6 am on a Sunday (a day we go to church at 9) after the biggest snow fall we had yet seen. I could go on about the times you actually made official complaints, and wasted the time of our fine city's police force, or about the incredibly loud music that has been noticed on more than one occasion, but I digress.
To sum it up, I'd be so very grateful if you could convince your sweet new dog that thirty minutes of nonstop whining and howling is enough, and perhaps the other dogs in the neighborhood who have all been woken would follow his or her good example. I'm sure this isn't too unreasonable. It is, of course, city ordinance. Upon your request, I have brushed up on the laws in which we, as citizens of this fine city, must follow.
Wishing you well, you hypocritical human,
Your sleepy neighbors
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