The rain poured outside my window, water droplets clinging to the fogged up glass and falling down in many different zig-zag formations. It was a cliche sign of depression and made me want to kick the bucket even more. I tried before but I had stopped myself after realizing that if I did that, people would look at me as selfish. And that was one of the last things that I wanted.
I peeled away from the chilly window seat and made my way into the bathroom, comfortably adjusting myself onto the toilet before getting ready for school. After closing the lid and flushing, I stripped down to nothing and looked at my lanky, pale body in the mirror. My eyes scanned the few bruises that laid scattered across my torso, some slightly faded and others full on black and blue. My fingers ran over my most recent one that sat above my belly button from him punching me. The coldness of my fingers made me stop and turn to the shower, turning the hot water all the way up, completely ignoring the option of cold water.
Steam quickly filled the bathroom as I stepped under the shower head, letting the water scorch my delicate skin. I let my shampoo and conditioner sit in my hair for a few minutes as I lightly rubbed my body wash in with a loofah, trying not to put too much pressure on the bruised areas of my body. After washing myself off, I just let the water run over my face and down my body for a few satisfying minutes before I stepping out and wrapping my body and hair up in a towel.
I walked out to my closet and picked out a pair of my most decent, non-ripped skinny jeans and an oversized grey sweater, my usual daily attire. I slipped on some clean undergarments and then quickly got dressed. I shook the towel on top of my head, trying to dry my hair as best as I could, and then stood in front of the mirror, leaning forward as I applied as much make-up as I needed, trying to hide the bags under my eyes and the paleness in my face.
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The rain seemed to be pouring harder as I walked down the sidewalk, failing to avoid every puddle that I came across and allowing my feet to get soaked due to me only having a pair of sandals. My hoodie had become soaking and did no good at keeping me very dry or warm. As I walked through the front doors of the school, I felt like the halls were more crowded with c***y jerks that had to keep a day job by picking on people like me than usual. Once I got to my locker, I put my combination in and quickly took off my hoodie and hung it up in one of the conveniently placed hooks in my locker. I pulled my shirt down where it had risen, self-consciously hoping no one had seen.
"Hey, babe," Jason said, slamming my locker in my face and smashing his chapped lips down on mine as his hands gripped my waist, putting a bit of pressure on the bruises I already had.
"Ow, that hurts," I whispered when he pulled away, wiping his lips as he smirked down at me.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, purposely pushing on my bruises again, causing me to whimper. "I'll see you after school at my place. Don't be late," he demanded, letting me go and disappearing with some blonde tramp that was waiting for him at the end of the hallway. I rolled my eyes as I turned back to my locker, opening it up and grabbing the books I needed.
I never looked up from the floor even when I walked into the classroom and took my seat in the back corner near the window. Everyone else around me chatted amongst themselves and threw things at each other while I just looked out the window, watching the droplets fall in zig-zag formation like I was that morning. Papers were passed back to me and before I could grab them, they floated subconsciously to the floor as the jerk in front of me let them go. Before I could pick them up, another jerk rubbed his foot all over it, leaving me with a footprint stained piece of paper.
"Jerk," I muttered, before pulling out my cheap MP3 and plugging in some headphones, drowning out the noises all around me.
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I stepped on the only blooming flower that sat in front of our house as I walked up to the front door, praying that no one was home.
Relief flooded through me when I saw that the lights were all off and I was left alone for the evening. Unless Jason showed up to yell at me for standing him up. I tossed my drenched bag on the floor next to the couch and made myself comfortable, turning on the cable and being met with a rerun of Friends.
"Tramp! Where have you been? I've been waiting for you for like an hour. You think you can just stand me up and not pay for it?!" Jason exclaimed as he burst through the front door, drenched in water from the rain. I let out a sigh, turning off the cable.
"I'm sorry!" I said as loud as I could. "I forgot that you wanted me to come over," I lied.
"You forgot? Don't lie to me!" he said, crossing the room and bringing his fist to my stomach. I let out a whimper as I fell to the cold, wooden floor, holding onto my stomach. "I-I'm sorry," I quietly said as he repeatedly brought his foot to my stomach.
"Goodbye," he said, spitting on my motionless body before leaving, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could.
I just laid there, feeling lifeless. I closed my eyes and waited, hoping that someone would come home. But no one ever did. The sound of rain flooded my ears as an occasional burst of thunder sounded off in the distance. As I laid there I wondered, 'Why is there so much rain?'
My question was answered when I looked over at my mom who was hovered over my open coffin, crying her eyes out as my dad tried to hold onto her.