Nothing was the same now that he had gone from my life; leaving me alone to deal with the demons he left behind.
He left no trace, no scent, piece of clothing or a strand of hair; only the memories which grew more and more painful day by day. The day he left is when all but my demons left. Leaving pain, sorrow and regret as the only clear feelings I could feel within my numb soul. As such, the days without his touch, comfort, love and compassion grew cold and dragged on. I no longer sleep for my thoughts, my mind no longer sleep. I find myself drifting away from those I love, from those I call my friends. As the days grow long so does his absence, making it hard to breathe, focus and even eat. He had left with nothing but a burn against my stone cold heart.
The days spent sitting by myself in the room we once flourished burned tears through my eyes. Not once did my phone ring with his familiar voice, leaving my soul sunken into the sheets where I spent all my time. He took all my joyous moments, thoughts and smiles. Never did I smile with good reason; never did my thoughts venture from his presence, smell and smile; never did I enjoy the same things.
As the days pass I sit back and watch him flourish without my love, without my encouragement or presence. I saw him smile and I couldn’t help but look down and smile; for he seems content. He seems to be acclimating well into society with those confident smiles and uniforms. If only he saw the destruction he left behind for me to clean up maybe then he’d see the poor attempts I’ve made to do the same.
With the clean break he made it easier in the end. I see now he is better off without my encouragement, without my love and compassion. Not only has he grown, but I have. I see the faults I made within our ridiculous relationship. I see where my mistakes were made, and even though I lost the man I loved I wouldn’t change a thing.
I regret nothing.
He left, cleanly and hastily. Leaving no trace of his love, and I couldn’t thank him. We can’t even look in the direction of each other, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Him turning his back on me allowed me to grow and become stronger than the girl he left behind. Today I stand strong, tall and confident. If it wasn’t for this I wouldn’t have grown, I wouldn’t have found myself without the heartbreak.