“Promise Rainbow” (she’d changed her name), was walking through the park, thinking about how fashionably ironic it would be to wear a Josie and the Pussycats  t-shirt to her friend’s party on Friday. She took a sip from her kale smoothie. Her pink and purple prius covered in stickers about government conspiracies and global warming was in sight now. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her skinny jeans and started texting her friend Brad, who’ contact name had more than a dozen smiley face and heart emoticons next to it. She didn’t see the rock until it was too late, and she almost fell. She dropped her bag and accidentally spilled her kale shake all over her teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfiction. In the distance an obese man in a plaid cut off shirt and trucker cap emblazoned with a confederate flag laughed and smiled at the stupid hipster, revealing his lack of front teeth. The man then proceeded to climb into his beaten up old pickup truck to grab some ‘shine and turn up his Luke Bryan and Hunter Hayes mixtape.