I am a superhero. Well, I mean, technically. Like, physically, I am a superhero. I mean I have a superpower. I can do the impossible. I like to call myself Rock Man. Now, I know what you're thinking, he must have super strength, WRONG. Oh, ok then, maybe he can control the Earth’s core, wrong again. I wouldn't want that power anyways, so don't worry I'm not offended. I mean having the power to disrupt the Earth’s core using tectonic plates to shift igniting a series of mankind-killing catastrophes doesn't sound like a fun power to use. I mean what if you got mad and killed the whole planet? Not only have you killed everyone ever, but you also killed yourself, on accident, who wants to go out that way? Um, not me. Anyways, what would be your third guess? Hmmmmmm, you don't know, you say? Shocking!!! No one knows. Because my power is so completely irrelevant that no one can ever fricking guess it. Well, I guess it's time to rip off the band aid and tell all you NSPPs (no super power people) my fantastic, fabulous, crazy, no good, rotten, useless gift that the gods above decidedly of all seven billion people on this planet (that is nine zeros by the way, NINE!) they would give it to me. Little old Kevin from lame old Iowa. Not only was i born in a state only populated by corn and small hills, but I was given the dumbest super power of all stinkin’ time. I have a friend who turns into a ferret and it's still better than my power. “What is that! A ferret!?” She says. Well you know what I say? “At least when you shift you can move!” The only way I move is though this little process called weathering. Try shifting and turning into a useless rock.
         Yeah, you read it right. Like how I just slipped it in there right in the middle of this letter? Pretty clever if I say so myself. As a man with the superpower of shifting to a pebble, actually just power, it's not too “super”, I have to learn how to be smart. I gotta Use my mind to take down the evil forces of this world because simply put, I have a crappy power.  I turn into a rock. Not even a boulder, a rock! Now who wants to relive the first time I relized this glorious power of mine, I know I don't! Haha I'm totally not even kidding but I feel like this information is vital so you can fully understand my agony.
       I first discovered this at Ashley Mitchell's eighth grade birthday party. By the way, if you didn't know, Ashley Mitchell is the most popular girl in school. I, by the grace of God himself, somehow got invited to her party, and let me tell you, everyone was there. And I mean everyone. When it comes time to cut the cake we are all standing there watching Tommy Peterson light the candles with his eyes (he is a lighter. A firestarter. It's a pretty common power where I'm from but never seems to lose the cool factor). Anyways, peoples’ powers tend to pop up randomly and well, let's just say mine picked the most, the worst, the most horrible time ever! So I'm standing there watching Ashley watch Tommy and I'm thinking, why doesn't she look at me like that? Then Ashley's voice breaks my deep thoughts of our future life together, saving the world with her kick butt power to control the elements and me, using my superhuman strength, “Kevin, do you want the first piece of cake?”
“Uh umm like uh yeah I'm that would be ahh great.” I can feel myself blushing. But then something weird happens. Boom! Next thing I know I'm staring at Ashley's feet. I look up at the Eiffel tower sized Ashley Mitchell in front of me. Did she grow? Does she have two powers? No way Josè she grows and controls the elements, that's freaking awesome! But then everyone is laughing, why are they laughing? The next part of the story is pretty horrific if I say so myself. I looked up and said “wow Ashley you grew!” But what came out of my mouth wasn't my normal kind of nerdy voice. I sounded like the talking animals from the north pole in the movie Elf. My voice was high-pitched. Not only did I turn into a stupid rock but my voice was extremely annoying. But at the time, I didn't know I was a rock. I thought Ashley Mitchell just grew a lot. But as soon as my last word came out there was a dead silence. Then all the sudden, a huge war of laughter came out from the crowd. People were shifting left and right. When we get excited somehow it's hard to control our powers. Then people started taking out phones taking pictures. My instincts took over. I tried to run away but my legs didn't move. Wait, did I even have legs, oh no, oh no oh no! I tried to run away again but instead of feet moving, I was hopping. Why was it happening? Why wasn't I running? Five seconds later I found myself staring at my reflection in the bottom of the glass door. I was a small black rock. Like one you would find at the base of a river. I hopped all the way home right after that and looked at myself in the mirror. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Next thing I know I am staring at my normal human body in the mirror, water draining from my normal boring brown eyes.
        All I will ever be is below average, I will never be someone's hero, I thought to myself. From then on, everyone called me rock-a-bye. And since then, I've grown and learned that somethings you just have no control over, you just gotta laugh it off. Maybe I never will be fighting a giant robot or an alien race to save the world like all my jerky classmates, but I can tell you this, I will be the safest one of us all hiding out as a little pebble.