The following are journal entries, from my father’s diary, from the time he was five up until his 22nd birthday. These are his letters to Cara.

“Dear Cara, I’m only five and three weeks but I know that I’m going to marry you. You’re very pretty and play trucks with me instead of barbies like the other girls.”

“Dear Cara, today is the first day of third grade. I was scared last night until I remembered that my mom said you were in my class. And then, I was excited. I know if you’re there it will be a good day, because you’re my best friend, and I know I’m going to marry you”

“Dear Cara, in middle school, all the boys are trying to see who can kiss the most girls. I only ever want to kiss you though. You read a poem to the class today and it was so beautiful. I never knew words could sound like that. Everybody laughed but, I didn’t understand what was funny.”

“Dear Cara, I went out for freshman football today. You were the one who pushed me to try out. You said you’d be there no matter what, If i make it or not, and I know that you will. Every day that i know you, you only get more kind, more beautiful. I can’t wait to marry you. Though, I am realizing I should probably ask you out first. Homecoming would be a good place to start, right?”

“Dear Cara, today is our junior prom and I have a promise ring for you. All my friends tell me that I’m too young to know that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’ve known since the day that I met you. The sun shines brighter when you’re near me and even when we argue, I hear the love in your voice and I’ve never met someone as perfect for me as you.”

“Dear Cara, We graduated today. You said you didn’t feel too well and I saw you waiver as you walked across the stage. You’ve been sick so much lately and I’m really starting to worry. You said you scheduled an appointment with your doctor and not to worry, and that it was probably just a stubborn virus.”

“Dear Cara, I picked you up from your appointment today, because you were crying too hard to drive yourself home. I’m trying to be brave and optimistic for the both of us, but the look on the doctors face told me it may hurt more that way. But, I don’t care what the prognosis is, I’m going to marry you.”

“Dear Cara, I asked you to marry me today, and you said yes. You were so eleated that you forgot for a moment how sick you were. But, as i watched you, I saw the moment that it came back to you even though you tried to hide it. We have to plan fast, you wake up every morning and say “this might be it” I always reply with, “It’s not.” even though I don’t know for sure.”

“Dear Cara, our wedding day is a week away, and you are in the hospital. I’ve hardly gone home. Only for clothes and to check on the kitten. He misses you. The doctors say to make the most of the time we have left because, it isn’t much and to cancel all of our wedding reservations because, you won’t last that long. But i’m calling the chaplin to our room later tonight. I can’t wait, to marry you. “

“Dear cara, you were my wife for the last thirty four and one half hours of your life. You said “I do” so quietly I almost didn’t hear you. After our vows you seemed so much more, at peace. And I knew it wouldn’t be long. You were waiting to be my wife and after you were you felt that you could let go. I didn’t cry at first.Everyone else in the room looked at me like I was insane, but when I got back to our home, and layed down in our bed, I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried so much that I thought I’d flood the room. I take the time to remember everything. The first day in the creek, the night of our junior prom, the fights, the laughs, the good days, and the bad. I loved you more than life itself Cara, and I only wish that I’d married you sonner. “

“Dear Cara, I adopted a little baby boy today. And he looks just like you.”