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Keisha the Lamp
Keisha, the lamp, decided one day she wanted to go to the bank and get more money and as the narrator, I do not know why a lamp wanted to get more money. She would need to be stealthy about this because humans aren’t supposed to know lamps can walk and talk. Keisha uses an invention she made so she can walk around while still being plugged in, we won’t get into the details of this invention because I’m not entirely sure myself how it works. So anyways, Keisha slowly crept out of the house she lives in while no one was home, and no one was watching her. The house Keisha lives in is on a busy street, but it’s not so busy during the weekdays because everyone is busy. She slowly walked across the street, hoping no one would see her and then stationed herself next to a trash can where she looked like she had been thrown away. This was always the most dangerous part of the journey because what if some poor peasant decided they wanted her? She was a very nice rich person lamp and even the thought of someone who would get their lamp from a dumpster keeping her was an awful thought.
A few hours after Keisha had stationed herself she decided she needed to move now or someone would eventually walk by and grab her because Keisha convinced herself how irresistible she was. Keisha began making her way to the bank, which was right next to the trash she had hidden by. At this point, Keisha realized there was no way getting around it and people would know she could walk and talk. Keisha went into the bank and casually walked up to the line, with no one still noticing. Finally, a lady noticed that Keisha was a lamp and not, in fact, a human. “Who put a lamp in here?” asked the lady beginning to move Keisha from her spot. Keisha, who gets highly offended by people trying to turn her on and off said: “Excuse me?” In the sassy voice, only Keisha can do. The lady jumped and looked around her “Okay who's messing with me?” asked the lady. Keisha responded by saying “I would like some money, please.” and that’s when the lady began to freak out.
“Guys is this lamp talking to anyone else?” Said the girl talking loudly. “NO. I am not talking to anyone else, now if you could PLEASE help me I would like some money,” said Keisha clearly annoyed. A man in the same clothing as the girl comes over and says “She is talking! What’s happening? Is someone pulling a prank on us? Where is the voice coming from?” Keisha begins to walk around the two employees of the bank and sets herself back in line. More people in the same clothing as the other two come over and begin poking her and looking all over. “Excuse me! Don’t touch me! I don’t want your peasant hands all over me!” said Keisha clearly baffled as to the amount of disrespect she was being shown. Keisha decided this kind of disrespect wasn’t worth it, she was going to leave.
“Okay whoever is doing this needs to stop, like, now.” said the girl who first noticed Keisha. Keisha got angry and Keisha is also an entitled lamp, so with that, she says “Okay, fine. If no one wants to help me I’ll get the money myself!” and began walking past the counter and into the employee only area. That’s when everything went wrong. “STOP RIGHT THERE!” says an employee who rudely touched Keisha, running forward to Keisha. The employee tackles Keisha and tries taking away the invention Keisha made so she can stay alive whenever. Keisha got mad and afraid so she hit the employee, knocking him out cold. The other employees began to panic, thinking it was some weird way of robbing the bank. “Get down!” says the first girl employee that came up to Keisha. Keisha grabs the money with her lamp part and begins to leave the bank, not to be bothered by the peasant people who have made her feel like less than a classy lamp.
Suddenly, Keisha hears a loud bang and feels something deflect off of her middle part that connects her bulb to her stilts. Keisha sees a bullet indent in her middle section and firstly compliments the person who shot her, “Wow good aim!”, and then secondly scolded the people at the bank because now she needed to fix this before her owner noticed, she could not be dented with imperfections or her owner would want someone new. Keisha left the store and began walking back to her house, forgetting to be low key because she wasn’t in the bank anymore. Someone from the bank came up for behind Keisha and tackled her, sending the money everywhere. The next thing Keisha knows is that someone is unplugging her invention and everything is going dark…
The End
Or is it?
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A sassy lamp named Keisha who does not like to be turned on and off.