Narcissa had headed to bed early, leaving her friends in the common room to bicker and gossip about her cousin and their concern for his baby brother who, according to them, seemed to be heading down the same path as the blood traitor. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a voice whispered traitorously that Regulus should follow his older brother, that he should escape. Narcissa had pursed her lips and excused herself the minute she'd heard Sirius and Regulus' names uttered by one of the faceless people that had been sitting around her. She'd slunk up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, and collapsed onto her four-poster bed, letting dreams of chipped nail polish and bright moons overtake her mind.

Narcissa awoke encompassed in complete darkness, the warmth that had filled her in her dream dissipated and was instead replaced by a frigid chill. A small sigh escaped her lips and she half-heartedly glanced over at the clock. The small hand was pointing directly between 12 and 1, while the long hand hovered over 6.

12:30 am

"What?" She hissed under her breath. 30 minutes, she'd woken up with 30 minutes to spare. Narcissa listened intently for the sounds of half-awake girls shuffling to the bathroom or the hushed whispers of gossiping voices. When she heard nothing but quiet breathing and snoring, Narcissa let out a soft breath and slowly climbed out of her bed. She slipped her feet into her fluffy white slippers from home, relishing their softness, before she threw a pretty green coat over her black pajamas. She cast a silencing charm on her feet, shoved her wand into her coat pocket, and carefully closed the door behind her. As she stood there with her back to the door of the girls' dormitory, it occurred to her that if anyone found her out of bed she'd be struck from the family tree, a smoldering black spot left in the place where her picture used to be.

Narcissa shook her head and fled down the stairs and through the doors of the Slytherin commons. There was no point in thinking about what if's, no one would find out.

She hurried down the dark, abandoned corridors of the school, bare-faced with her silky black and white hair loose down her back. The doors of the Slytherin common rooms disappeared from sight, and her stomach dropped. It almost felt like she was being dangled over a 30-foot drop down to the sharp points of a thousand spears. The sound of her own heart thudding in her chest filled Narcissa's ears as she ran, her cheeks were stinging from the cold and her fingertips were turning numb.

Oh, but she'd never felt so alive. She'd spent the summer mindlessly attending balls with Lucius and maintaining an image of perfection. Narcissa felt like she was finally breathing again.

Maybe that's why she didn't hear the telltale clicking of boots until they were 4 feet away.

Narcissa lunged for the wall, her fight or flight regained control of her and she lunged for the wall. That feeling of numb anxiety was gripping her once again. Narcissa pressed herself against the cold brick wall, trying to disappear from sight. Her chest was starting to squeeze in that painful way that let her know she was on the verge of having a panic attack. She squeezed her eyes shut until white spots floated in the darkness. She'd be struck from the family tree like her disgraced cousin, she'd be disowned like her sister and she'd never see Alice Fortescue again.

The clicking of boots disappeared. Narcissa inched closer to the statue next to her, begging the person to just walk away. After what felt like an eternity, a string of curses left the person's mouth and the sound of the footsteps receded until they disappeared. Narcissa didn't move, the thunderous sound of her blood rushing was all she could hear for a second, and oh, she was dizzy as the relief came cascading down on her like a waterfall.

She was safe, she could keep living for a moment more. Narcissa shoved away from the wall, letting go of the rough bricks, and sped down the halls again.

She was late, Merlin, she was so late.

Her pace quickened until she was sprinting down the halls toward the seemingly empty courtyard. The wind caught her hair in between its icy fingers. That exhilarating feeling was back, mixed with a growing sense of panic. But different from the numbness she'd felt a second ago. She was afraid, and for the first time in a while, Narcissa didn't tune it out. There was very real fear coursing through her veins. She stumbled into the courtyard, coming to a halt underneath the old tree that stood in the middle of the open space. She glanced around the quiet space. Her heart sank to the ground when everything stayed still, nothing changed. She fought to keep her face neutral, as she stood there alone under the beautiful tree.

"Cissy?" Narcissa spun around to face the person she'd immediately recognized. A short breath of relief or maybe awe escaped her pursed lips. Alice Fortescue stood in front of her with a grin on her face. Her lovely dark hair was piled into a bun, a soft white shawl thrown casually over her head. Her pink pajamas were covered up by a simple red jacket that had the Gryffindor crest embroidered on the shoulders. Narcissa rolled her eyes and grabbed the sleeve of the jacket and yanked it toward her.

"Do you Gryffindors ever wear anything that's not red?" She asked, her usual sass returning to her voice. Looking into Alice's sparkling eyes made her think she was seeing into the very universe itself.

"You're wearing green, Ms. Slytherin Princess" She teased back, leaning forward. Narcissa's grip on the jacket tightened as they stood there unmoving. Narcissa couldn't help but wonder if her own eyes looked as dazzling as Alice's did. She wondered if they conveyed the challenge that Narcissa was issuing, she wondered if Alice would accept if she did recognize it.

"Here, I made you a tiny dragon," Alice said and held out her hand. Narcissa's disappointment at the refuted challenge was quickly forgotten when Alice slipped a tiny green paper dragon into her palm. Narcissa chuckled at the tiny dragon, it looked so small in her palm. Every fold that made up the dragon was straight and made with care, but even then there were folds that were crooked or wrinkled in places. She loved the tiny thing even more when she noticed it. "I named him Draco, isn't he lovely?" Alice said, laughter in her words. Narcissa looked up and giggled, there were little bubbles in her chest that made her giddy with excitement. "I love him," She cooed before putting him inside her pajama pockets. "Good, now come on. I wanted to show you something," Alice whispered, that simple excitement still so evident in her voice. Alice's hand slipped into Narcissa's, warmth coiling its way up Narcissa's arm and through her body. The simplicity of the action caused her to pause for a second, even while slowly beginning to unravel on the inside. It was so different from anything she'd known before, every time Lucious grabbed her hand, it was deliberate and planned. He'd never even looked directly at her, always just to the right or left of her face.

"Cissa, look up" Alice's voice drew her back to the present and Narcissa shoved her venomous thoughts deep down into a locked chest and turned her attention to the night sky. The full moon shined brightly against the darkness, glowing with light borrowed from the sun, yet also somehow infinitely different from the sunlight. Like it had taken the light and changed it into something that was its own.

"It's beautiful" She breathed. It was nothing short of an understatement. Narcissa had never felt anything purer than the feeling of looking at the moon.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Alice agreed. Narcissa glanced over to the right side, where Alice stood serenely, eyes cast up to the heavens. She was always on the right, always just to the right.

There was nothing purer than the moon. Except for loving Alice Fortescue, maybe.

"Do you want to dance?" Narcissa asked, slowly turning away from the moon. Alice looked back at her, eyes widening ever so slightly, shock registering behind them. When Alice still didn't speak or move, as if she'd been frozen to the cement, Narcissa's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Oh god, she'd messed it up. She'd messed up again, it only seemed to happen around Alice. She was never perfect in front of Alice Fortescue.

"Say something, for Merlin's sake" She mumbled angrily, folding her hands over her chest. She felt wholly out of her element, standing there desperately wanting to share a clumsy dance underneath the shimmering sky.

"Yes. Yes, I want to dance with you.: Alice said, shaking her head as if she was emerging from a stupor. Narcissa dropped her hands, anger disappearing almost instantly and her chest felt just a little bit lighter than it had a moment ago. Narcissa held her hand out, offering a small tentative smile. A soft giggle escaped the other girl as she placed her hand in Narcissa's. A simple action that spoke a thousand words.

I trust you. I'm happy here, with you.

Alice's other hand settled on her shoulder like a warm weighted blanket. Narcissa hesitantly placed her hand against Alice's back. They stood there, two galaxies colliding as they waited for something in the universe to change, to break the spell that had been cast over them both.

Narcissa moved first, following the steps she'd learned from watching her father and Lucius. Alice stumbled slightly and a laugh escaped Narcissa, it bubbled up from her chest and burst from her lips in a soft shower of sparkles. It was unnatural almost, the Narcissa made by her parents and family fell away like a bodysuit when she was with the Gryffindor. Alice's face lit up as she righted herself. One thing about Narcissa Malfoy was that she didn't laugh, she smiled tightly with practiced perfection. Forever unbeknownst to Narcissa, making the Frost Queen laugh was something that Alice would cherish. It was something special reserved only for her, something magical that was just Alice's. A memory she'd hang onto in her last moments.

"Have you never danced before Fortescue?" Narcissa asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow. Everyone in the Black family was taught how to waltz by whatever cruel governess was watching over them. Alice scoffed lightheartedly.

"Oh please, I'm amazing at the waltz. I used to stand on Mum's feet while she spun us across the kitchen," Alice said lightly. She'd said it so easily, and Narcissa's eyes glazed over. Sometimes she forgot that her life wasn't normal. That hiding from angry parents while your older sister desperately tries to stop your tears isn't normal. Well, now she just tries to pretend that Andromeda is holding her hands.

"You're so lucky. I'm so happy for you, but I guess I'm a little jealous too," Narcissa's voice came out hushed. They had stopped dancing now, Narcissa's hands were empty at her sides and her eyes were trained on the ground. How had she managed to ruin another perfect moment with her fears and insecurities?

"Sorry-" She began, sniffing and beginning to lift her head. She needed to regain her composure and make this thing right.

"No. You don't have to apologize. It's okay to feel things, Cissa. Even if it's just when you're with me," Alice's voice was strong and...comforting. It was soft and warm but firm at the same time. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so...loved, the last time she'd been left speechless with butterflies in her stomach. Two soft hands cupped her cold face and lifted her eyes up to meet those addicting star-filled eyes. Her entire body came alive with butterflies, she'd probably break into a thousand butterflies if Alice got any sweeter.

"You're beautiful, did you know that?" Alice whispered, her black eyes studying every feature of Narcissa's picture. It was like she was trying to memorize every detail, every freckle, and spot that made up Narcissa Black.

"You're the only person who didn't know, Alice," She paused before

"Thank you, for everything you've shown me," She said, hand reaching up to grasp one of Alice's. The smile on her face grew wider and then disappeared as Alice's expression changed from being basked in bliss to hesitant.

"What? What's wrong?" Narcissa asked stepping closer, worry overriding her fear.

"Can I kiss you?" Alice asked, her eyes returning to Narcissa's. Everything froze for a split second, the leaf fluttering to the ground froze, the wind froze, and Narcissa froze. She was suddenly all too aware of how close they were. Alice's hands were on her face, and Narcissa's hand was squeezing one of those hands, they were close enough for Narcissa to feel the heat radiating from the other's skin. As the spell broke Narcissa gasped softly and rushed to answer, realizing Alice's expression was changing again to something twisted and defeated.

"Yes! Yes, you should kiss me," She said pulling Alice back from where she'd begun to pull away. Alice's eyes, those eyes, locked on her and she leaned in again. Their lips met, soft smiles plastered on both girls' faces underneath the brightest moon of the century. Somewhere in the distance a wolf howled and the smell of night-blooming jasmine filled the air.

A kiss to be clung to.

*****

Narcissa Black Malfoy swallowed heavily when her eyes opened. There was no courtyard, no jasmine, no tree, no moon, and no girl in pink pajamas. She was sitting on her black armchair next to the extinguished fireplace in a dark mansion. She could hear the voices of her husband and the other death eaters in the background as they discussed their next move. Her expression didn't change, it was still the same carefully neutral face she'd been displaying since the sun had disappeared.

And what could the moon be but desolate, without the sunlight?

Her hands tightened around her knees, as she stared out the window. A moonless night, how fitting. Ashes from the fireplace had spilled onto the floor, crickets sang outside, and a single lamp was still flickering with light. The clock above the fireplace mantle read 12:30.

12:30 am. 2 hours more. She'd have to suffer through 2 more hours of endless talk about the Dark Lord and his plan for the world.

Narcissa Black Malfoy had once believed in the Dark Lord. Had once been ready to give everything to a man she didn't even know. She'd spent years coping with Alice joining the Order by planning the demise of the world.

Then Alice had been tortured to insanity by her sister and her pathetic husband, and she'd felt grief like she'd never felt before.

She'd gone to see Alice in the hospital once. Her eyes were vacant and glazed over, stars gone. Narcissa Black Malfoy had stood next to her bed, her cold, lifeless hand limp in Narcissa's warm ones.

It was all so wrong, Alice was alive. Alice was colorful. Alice smiled and made her smile too.

Alice

Alice

Alice

That was when Narcissa finally understood what Alice had believed in. Narcissa understood what it was to love so freely, to believe in goodness. Narcissa had stood there, once again feeling doubt bloom in her chest. Doubt about the beliefs that her family had instilled in her so ruthlessly since she was a young girl. The doubts that had been placed there by Andromeda's angry, tearful face as she left to be with Edward Tonks, then weeks later seeing her smiling as she stood with him while he showed her some book he was reading. Doubts that had been placed there by Sirius, asking her to look after Regulus until he could come back for him as he stood in her room with balled-up fists.

But Narcissa didn't leave, because she would protect Draco if nothing. If she left with Draco, they'd be hunted down and murdered for betraying the Dark Lord. So she stayed, curled up on the black armchair with nothing but her memories and daydreams to keep her going.

She'd dream of the little cottage by the river that Alice had sworn they'd live in. The tiny paper dragon on the fireplace mantle. A small corner for all their books. A nice little kitchen for them to cook together. A farm in the backyard with zucchini and cabbages. They'd even dream of a little kid, Alice joked they would name a boy Draco, after their dragon.

She'd remember all the stolen kisses in the library, the brush of hands as they passed each other in the hallway, laying underneath the stars on a picnic blanket. She remembered a thousand things, that always ended with the memory of Alice's teary eyes as she let go of Narcissa's hand for the last time and walked away forever.

She wondered if Draco would have been happier had he been raised by Alice, would he have kept his smile for a while longer, would he have friends that weren't traumatized children who had been forced to use unforgivable curses?

Narcissa knew the answer was yes, she knew that had Draco ever met Alice, she would have adored him.

Narcissa watched Alice's son sometimes, on the platform every summer he showed up with his grandmother fussing over his hair or tie. His eyes were so similar to Alice's, but they'd lost their stars long ago. He seemed so different from Alice, but a flash of her signature grin would appear when he spotted his friends. Narcissa didn't know if she hated him, or if she wanted to apologize and wrap him in her arms as she did with Draco.

Narcissa sighed and wiped her eyes roughly. Tears had started to spill from her without her realization. She unfolded herself from the chair and pushed her feelings back into the chest in her gut. She couldn't seem to lock it properly anymore.

It was like someone had unlocked it and threw away the key.