Characters:

The 10th Doctor

From the TV show Doctor Who, the Doctor is a nine hundred year old alien, called a Time Lord, who looks like a human in his 30s and has a British accent. Tall, skinny. He travels in time in his sentient time machine/spaceship called the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space), which looks like a 1950s police phone box. Time Lords can go through a process called regeneration when they’re about to die, which changes every cell in their body, giving them a completely different appearance.



Rose Tyler

Blonde, 19 years old, Londoner. Travels with the Doctor.



Sherlock Holmes

Modern day consulting detective, late 20s, addicted to texting on his cell phone and insulting the intelligence of others.



John Watson

Sherlock’s one and only friend. Army doctor, carries himself like a soldier. Mid 30s.



The Weeping Angels

Angel statues that cover their eyes as if crying. They can move when not observed, and are incredibly fast, but when someone is looking at them they freeze into stone. Their touch will send someone back in time so that the angel can feed off of their potential energy.



Setting: A residential London street in the modern day, front of 221B Baker Street (the modern version from BBC’s Sherlock miniseries).



[Spotlight on 221B Baker Street, middle of stage.]



[Offstage]

Sherlock:

I’m telling you, John, there’s more to these disappearances than what we’re seeing. I just can’t put my finger on it.



John:

Come, on, Sherlock. Why can’t you just accept the fact that they’re just normal, everyday, run-of-the-mill mysterious kidnappings? Sometimes I think you make things more complicated than they are just because you’re bored.



Sherlock:

I don’t need to make this one more complicated. It’s complicated enough on its own.



[Door opens, Sherlock and John step out into the street, start walking stage right.]



John:

So, where are we off to, then?



Sherlock:

Wester Drumlins.



John:

What, where all the disappearances happened? We’ve already investigated there.



Sherlock:

Yes, but I can’t get over the feeling that I missed something. I need to go back, do some more looking around.



John:

You? Why am I even coming, then?



Sherlock:

Come, now. I’d be lost without my blogger. [Grins at John]



[Sherlock and John exit stage right. TARDIS engine noise, second spotlight pulsates on and off the TARDIS, stage left, as if the TARDIS is materializing. Spotlight stops pulsating, engine noises stop. Door of TARDIS opens, Doctor and Rose rush out. Entire stage lights up.]



Rose:

Doctor, what are doing here? You haven’t explained anything to me.



[The Doctor looks around in all directions, distracted]



Rose:
Doctor!!!



Doctor:

Sorry. Uhhhh…. We’re looking for some Weeping Angels. The TARDIS picked up a signal.



Rose:

Some what?



Doctor [still distracted, looking up now, not looking at Rose]:

Weeping Angels. They look like statues, only, they’re not.



Rose:
Well, that’s helpful.



[The Doctor starts wandering around the stage.]



Rose [loudly, trying to get his attention]:

I’m not stupid, you know, we wouldn’t be here if they were only statues.



[The Doctor, still distracted, keeps looking around, moving around the stage seemingly randomly. Rose moves out from the TARDIS a few steps, arms crossed, as the Doctor isn’t answering her.]



Rose [clears her throat loudly]:

Anything else I should know about them?



Doctor [to himself]:
No… no Angels here… why did the TARDIS follow the signal here?



[The Doctor notices the address.]



Doctor:
221B… Why does that sound familiar?



[The Doctor stares at it for a moment as if trying to place it, then suddenly snaps himself out of it.]



Doctor:

Right! Angels! Come on, then! Need to double-check that signal.



[He rushes back into the TARDIS, flying past Rose, who looks annoyed, but as if this happens all the time. TARDIS door remains open, his voice comes from inside.]



Doctor:

No… there’s definitely a signal leading here…



[Leans out of the TARDIS, staring at the address again.]



Doctor:

How do I know that address?



Rose [impatiently]:

Is it important?



Doctor:

Dunno…



[Vanishes again into the TARDIS]



Doctor:

221B… 221B…



[Sounds of shuffling, occasional slam]



Doctor:
221B… Sherlock! [noises stop] Of course! Stupid, Doctor, stupid. Too much stuff in this old head.



[Leans out of the door again, looking at a sheet of paper.]



Doctor:

Sherlock Holmes. Friend of mine. Consulting detective, only one of his kind. Brilliant, really, almost as brilliant as me. And that’s saying something.



Rose:

And…?



Doctor [looks up]:
Well, maybe the TARDIS thinks we need his help. To find the Angels. Not sure why else it would bring us here.



[He crosses the stage to the door of 221B and knocks, shifting on his feet impatiently as he waits. Knocks again. Rose follows him over.]



Rose:

Maybe he’s not home?



Doctor:

Maybe not…



[He knocks one more time before pulling a small silver device out of the inside of his suit jacket. Whirring noise, then the sound of the lock clicking. He pushes the door open.]



Doctor:

Hello? Anyone home?



[He pauses as he waits for an answer.]



Doctor:

Sherlock? It’s me! The Doctor! You there?



[Another pause]



Doctor:

…No. Didn’t think so.



Rose:

So what now?



[The Doctor rushes back into the TARDIS.]



Doctor [to TARDIS]:

Come on, girl, we need a new signal… Got it! They’re on the move…



[Leans out of the TARDIS]



Doctor [To Rose]:

You coming, or what?



[Rose rolls her eyes as she walks back to the TARDIS. They both go inside, the door shuts. TARDIS engine noise, spotlight pulsates until noises stop, spotlight turns off. Entire stage goes dark.]



[Scene change to Wester Drumlins, slight changes to the 221B set to make it look like a run-down mansion with an iron gate in front of it. Sound of a car pulling up, car doors slamming, car leaving. Sherlock and John enter stage right and walk toward the spotlight on the mansion.]



John:

I still don’t know what you’re expecting to find. There really wasn’t anything here to begin with.



Sherlock:

I told you, John, something about this place doesn’t feel right.



John [scoffs]:

And since when do you go off feelings?



[Sherlock ignores John as he walks over to the gate. John follows. Sherlock begins examining every inch of the gate and the ground around it.]



Sherlock:

No way around it… We’re going to have to climb over.



John:

What?!



Sherlock:
The gate’s locked, John. So unless you’ve got a massively strong set of bolt cutters hidden on your person… [Looks John up and down as if looking for them]



[John stares at Sherlock in silence.]



Sherlock:

Right, then. Over it is.



[He stands and starts to climb, John follows. TARDIS engine noise, spotlight pulsating stage right.]



Sherlock [drops to the ground on other side of gate, turns around]:

No. No, it can’t be.



[TARDIS noises stop, spotlight remains on TARDIS. Doctor exits the TARDIS, looks around, notices Sherlock, grins.]



Doctor:

Sherly! How goes it, mate? Haven’t seen you in a while. Who’s you’re friend?



Sherlock [splutters]:

What… why…



John:

What the… What the hell is that thing? [looks at Sherlock, who seems to be in shock] Sherlock?



Doctor:

Well, I hope you’re not referring to me as “that thing.” That would be rather rude.



[The Doctor walks over to them. Rose exits the TARDIS, shutting the door behind her, but doesn’t go more than a few steps.]



John:

I meant that giant blue box that just appeared out of thin air!



Doctor:

Oh! Oh, that! It’s called the TARDIS. It’s my… umm… transport.



John:
Transport.



Doctor:

Yep. I’m the Doctor, by the way, and you are? [holds his hand out toward John]



[John stares at him in stunned silence]



Sherlock [as if shaking himself out of shock]:

John. His name’s John. What are you doing here?



John:

What, you know him?



Doctor [to Sherlock]:

Same thing as you, I assume… I’m investigating. [He turns his attention to the mansion behind him. John looks between him and Sherlock, while Sherlock stares at the Doctor.]



Sherlock:
You’ve changed your face.



Doctor:

Hmm? [Turns his attention back to Sherlock] Oh, yes. A couple of times since I saw you last, actually. [Turns back to mansion]



[Sherlock nods.]



[Rose finally walks over.]



Rose:
Rose Tyler. [She holds out her hand to Sherlock.]



Sherlock:

What? Oh. [Shakes her hand] Sherlock Holmes.



Rose:
Nice to meet you. [Shoves her hands in her pockets] So, friend of the Doctor’s, I’m told?



Sherlock:

We’ve met once or twice.



John:

How come I’ve never heard of this?

Sherlock:

It was before your time. I did have a life before you, you know.



John:

Right. I just think mysterious friends who appear in magic blue boxes are something you should tell the people close to you.



Sherlock:
And how was that conversation supposed to go? What… am I supposed to say, “Oh, and by the way, I have this alien friend who shows up every so often in his odd looking spaceship to help me out”?



John:

What? He’s an alien?



Doctor:

Boys! Could you maybe do this somewhere else? I’m trying to focus. And, frankly, [he looks at Sherlock] I’m offended that you’ve never mentioned me. Shame on you.



John:
He’s an alien. Aliens… exist? Sherlock, I think you’ve gone off the deep end. Or, maybe I have… Please tell me this is a hallucination or a dream, or a side effect of something you’ve slipped in my tea for an experiment.



Sherlock [looking at the mansion now]:

Nope, real.



Rose:

Yeah, I know. It was a real shock for me, too. [laughs]



[John shakes his head]



Doctor:

Speaking of aliens…



Rose:

What? You see one of those angel things?



Doctor:

Think so.



John:
Angels? So, angels are real now, too?



Doctor:

No. Well, yes. But I’m not talking about that kind of angel.



John:

What kind are you talking about, then?



Doctor:

The Weeping kind.



John:

Thanks. That clears things up.



Sherlock:

See, I knew something weird was going on here.



Doctor:
‘Course, you did. Now. [He turns abruptly to face the others. All eyes train on him.] We’re dealing with something very old, here. Ancient, even. Nearly as old as the universe itself. The reason they’ve survived so long is because they’ve developed the perfect defense mechanism. They’re quantum locked.



John:

I’m sorry, what?



Doctor:

Quantum locked. They don’t exist when they’re being observed. Lonely assassins, they’re called. Can’t even look at each other. The moment any living creature sees them, they literally freeze into rock. And you can’t kill a rock. Of course, a rock can’t kill you, either, but then you look away…



John:
What the hell is he talking about?

Rose:

Just… look interested and try to keep up. Nod, maybe, when he stops for breath. It’ll make sense. Hopefully.



Sherlock:
I saw a couple of angel statues last time I was here. They had their faces covered, like they were… crying. Is that what you’re talking about?



[John looks surprised at Sherlock.]



John:

You don’t know already?


[Sherlock looks at John, annoyed.]



Doctor:

Yeah. Probably. [looks back at mansion] I see a few upstairs, I think, and… Oooh. Look over there.



[He points toward stage right past Sherlock. They all turn to look. A single Weeping Angel stands with its face covered behind the gate and off to the side.]



John:

That wasn’t there before…



Doctor:

Ok, a little demonstration. On the count of three, we’re all going to look away, and then quickly look back. Got it? [They all nod.] One… Two… Three!



[They all turn their heads away quickly, and then snap them back. The Angel has moved several feet closer, but remains in the same position with its face covered.]



John:

Holy…



Sherlock:

Fascinating.



Rose:

So, how do we stop it?



Doctor:
Umm…



Rose:

You don’t have a plan?!



Doctor:

Come on, Rose, when do I ever have a plan?



John:

So… That thing… It wants to kill us? Sherlock, what the hell have you gotten me into??



Sherlock [mostly to himself]:

If that’s the thing causing all of the disappearances… where are the bodies?



Rose:

It doesn’t… like… eat them, does it?



Doctor:
Nah… don’t be ridiculous. It sends them back in time so that it can feed off of their potential energy.



[All three stare at the Doctor for a moment, but quickly look back at the angel.]



Doctor [shrugs]:

It’s not so bad… they’re the only psychopaths that kill you nicely. Just let you live to death. Can’t ask for much more than that.



John:

Potential energy?



Doctor:

They’re creatures of the abstract.



John [shakes head]:

Stop. This is moving way too fast for me. Aliens, time travel, spaceships -



Sherlock:

We have spaceships here on Earth, John.



John:

- And what was that part about your face changing?! This is some kind of prank, right?



Sherlock:

Come, on, Doctor. You’ve got to have some sort of plan.



Doctor:

I’m… working on one…



Rose:

Uh, huh… and what do you have so far?



[Silence as the Doctor doesn’t respond.]



Doctor:

I’m open for suggestions.



Sherlock:

So…. They can’t move when you’re looking at them. But as soon as you look away, they send you back in time and feed off the life you didn’t live.



Doctor:

Right. Getting a bit slow in your old age, Sherlock?



Sherlock:

Of course not. Maybe more cautious. I just need more information so that I know what we’re getting into. How many are we dealing with?



Doctor:

That one, there [points again at the angel they’re all looking at], and I saw at least two upstairs. There’s probably more.



John:
Perfect. Just perfect.



Doctor:
I suggest that we all arrange ourselves in a circle, facing out. Rose, keep your eyes on this one.



[They all do as instructed, forming a circle in behind the gate.]



Doctor:

As soon as you see movement, look right at it. Got it?



John [hushed]:

I see one, over there.



Sherlock:

There’s another one, by the side of the house.



Doctor:

There’s one coming from behind the gate, too. Okay, I’ve got an idea.



Rose:
It’s about time.



Doctor:
We’re all going to close our eyes.



Rose:

What?! Are you trying to get us all killed?



Doctor:
Trust me. Do you trust me, John?



John:
What? Why are you asking me?



Doctor:
You’re the only one who doesn’t know who I am. Do you trust me?



John:
No??



Doctor:
Well, you need to. It’s the only way you’re getting out of this. Ok, ready? Three, two, one, shut.



[They all shut their eyes. Four angels advance, teeth bared, rushing toward the circle.]



Doctor:

Now, open, and duck!



[They all do as instructed. The Angels are trapped in a circle, staring at each other, frozen.]



Doctor: Ahh! That should keep them occupied for a while.



John [breathing heavily]:

What, they’ll be like that for good?



Doctor:

Unless someone moves them.



[They all stare at the angels for a few moments.]



Rose:
So that’s it, then?



Doctor:

For now. I have a feeling we’ll have to deal with them again. Right, then! We’re off! Sherlock, I hope to see you again. And you, too, John, it was nice meeting you.



John:

What? You’re leaving already??



Rose:

It’s kind of what he does… When the aliens are taken care of, he’s off. Doesn’t stick around for much of anything.



Doctor [already opening the door of the TARDIS]:

Coming?



[Rose waves good bye as she and the Doctor enter the TARDIS.]



Doctor:

Oh, and Sherlock? Come up with a good story for the police, will you? And make sure no one moves those statues.



Sherlock:

Sure thing. [he waves.]



[TARDIS departs.]



John [still stunned]:

Well, that was an adventure.



Sherlock [still staring at where the TARDIS had been]:

Yeah. Sure was. I was right, once again. Back home?



[John doesn’t follow until Sherlock grabs John’s arm and pulls him offstage, the stage goes dark.]



(The Weeping Angels continue in the Doctor Who episode Blink.)