““Doodle!” I screamed above the pounding storm and threw my body to the earth above his. For a long time, it seemed forever, I lay there crying, sheltering my fallen scarlet ibis from the heresy of rain.” After a few hours of sobbing and protecting my little brother from the storm I had to go home and give a proper burial like he would do for me.
How would I tell Mama, Daddy… and Aunt Nicey! How would I explain the cause of his death? No I cannot think of myself anymore. Look where it has gotten me. I am a murdered of the brother I always wanted, of the brother I came to admire. I adore his strength to pleasures me the most. I guess I was always was his murderer. When I was six, I had a plan to kill because I could not live knowing I did not have a brother. Working Doodle too hard was my plan that I never plan.
As I was walking through the swamp with Doodle in my arm the path home was clear. The trees hung like a father disappoint of what his son has done. The storm was gone, by sky was still black, and the rain was now a delicate kind. One mile before my home I stop.
I took off my shirt and put it on Doodle. Everyone deserve to look nice even if they are died. Doodle and I took some water from Old Women Swamp and hide near by here, so if one day we could not go the smell of Old Women Swamp would make us feel like we were there. I found the jar that said Doodle and put it back. I need some good memory so I do not drive myself insane with me killing my little brother. After a few minutes of search I find my jar. I open the jar and the smell make me remember all the good times I had with Doodle. All those lies we made up, those were the good old days.
I clear all the blood from Doodle’s body. Maybe my family will not be as upset with me if he looks clean. I sealed his eye shut; once he is clean he looks like he is sleeping, but having nightmare in his killer clothes. Its take me about 10 minutes to get back home. I get to the door of my house. I look and see a sign that says Armstrong. Below it are carved little pictures of Mama, Daddy, Aunt Nicey, Doodle, and I. I never saw that before. Then in tiny letter it said by Doodle. Not feeling like home I knock on the door. The door is open and Mama face goes from a natural bloodshot color to white as a ghost color.
“What happen to Doodle?” Mama exclaimed heart broke and furious. But I just walked past her. In this point in my life was in slow motion. When I marched through the living room I saw a tombstone. It said, “May the
rest in peace.” I looked away knowing that although it might not have been meant for Doodle it was going to be his tombstone. Luckily Aunt Nicey and Daddy did not see Doodle until dinner. I lay Doodle in his bed and put some blanks on him. When I went to go cover Doodle, a paper under his pillow falls. It stated, “number one mission please my brother because I love him and he will always take care of me.”
I fell to my knees and started crying hard than before. How could I have been so selfish when he was so abnegation? I close my eyes all I could see was darkness and Doodle’s vermilion blood all over his body. The tree, the bush, the lake was just as upset as I was. I always wanted to remember that single moment, in my dreams, when I day dreams, so I will remember more how Doddle was abnegation. From that day on I vow to be selfless instead of selfish.
I did not leave Doodle’s room until dinner when I would have to tell the truth about Doodle. I walk into the ornate dark green dinning room. Every sit is taken except Doodle’s and mine. I sit down, all the face around me are staid faces. For a minute there is a moment of silence in honor of Doodle. I had one minute to get my thoughts together to tell the truth.
“WHAT HAPPEN TO WILLIAM, DOODLE, YOUR LITTLE BROTHER?” Aunt Nicey exclaimed to me. She never did get use to the name Doodle.
“ I… Doodle and I made plans to teach him to climb, swim, and row you know regular boys stuff. Because of the hurricane the progress was delay and time was running out of time to make the deadline the first day of school. So I push him too hard. Today when we were coming home from the storm, Doodle fell and told me to help him, but I ran. My pride got the best of me I could not accept the fact that we failed. But when I accept the fact we were defeated it was too late. I ran back to him finding vermilion blood coming out of his mouth. I cried for hours and then return home.”
No one spoke right after me. We ate Doodle’s favorite dinner and desert. Everyone had a blank express on his or her faces. I did not know how they were taking it. All I know is Aunt Nicey was taking the fact that my brother died the hardest by the look on her face. As soon as everyone had finish desert, my Daddy ask if I wanted to take a walk.
At first I thought we were going to take a long walk around the barn, but we were head for Old Woman Swap. How did my father know this place? He had never mentioned it in his long childhood memories story. I felt like Doodle following my older brother to a place we both love. Old Women Swamp was a place where it did not matter what the outside world did or was doing. It was place just to relax and be you. My Daddy sat down the place where Doodle and I use to love to sit.
“ I am not mad at you because I did the same thing at your age. What Doodle got was because it was in my genus. I wanted something to be proud of, so I pick my little brother. I worked him so hard I kill him because his weak heart burst. I buried him and ran away from home. I change my last name to Armstrong to remind me to be strong. It took me a long time to accept the fact that my brother was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring him back. Once I accept the fact my life got a whole lot better. Come home when you are ready we will be waiting for you.” Daddy explained. He got up and walked home looking calm and understanding under this situation.
After Daddy left I decide to stay the night at Old Woman Swamp. I thought it was the right medicine to get me to calm down. I lay back on the toothbrush tree looking at the water. It was still and calm with little waves. I throw a rock into the water that made a big splash and interrupt the flow of the water. At first the water was going wild about how the flow was off. Once the water accept the fact that things happen and there are nothing it can do about. It went back to the flow, but the rock was now on the water ground.
I back home knew that I had to accept the fact Doodle was dead, but he will always be in my heart and memories. When I got home the Doctor that told me at the age of six that Doodle was going to dead since birth was sitting on my couch. Usually he wears clothing that is white showing hope to the patients and family. But today he wears all black. His eyes are usually a popping blue, but today his eyes wear gray like a cloud just before it rains.
“Mr. Armstrong, first off I am so sorry for your lost. Secondly Doodle was coming down was Spanish flu, now your mother, father, and Aunt have it as well. I estimate they have a week to live. You may not see your mother or Aunt because they have it worst, but you may visit your father one last time. Have a good day Mr. Armstrong.” He replied. He walked out of the house faster than a toad tongue coming in and out of his mouth to catch a fly. I stood in the middle of my ruby living room taking in all that the doctor told me. Mama, Daddy, and Aunt Nicey were going to die in a week time and I only got to say goodbye to Daddy. The doctor could be wrong, he was wrong when he said Doodle was going to die at birth.
I walk into to Daddy’s room, the lights are not on, and the shades are down covering the sun. The room was as gloomy as being stuck in the house during a storm. Daddy was like a peaceful man sleeping, but once he sees me he sits up.
“Remember when I told you the faster you accept something the better off you will be. Remember this instead weep for at least a week about your loss and then like the river accept the fact and move on. Never forget the scarlet ibis and the river and the rock.” He told me. After that he never said another word. I checked Mama and Aunt Nicey, they had the same fate Daddy and Doodle face.
Days like today “summer was dead but autumn had not yet been born”, I remember all my scarlet ibis and the rock in the water. Doodle, Daddy, Mama, and Aunt Nicey will always be in my heart, but I have move pass that I killed them. Today I have a family of my own two boys, two girls, and a beautiful wife. None of them got what Doodle had at birth. Still have not open Doodle jar, but to this day remains on my shelf at my house. It helps remind to remember the good things in life and learn from the awful events in life. I have to always remember the water and the rock.