SAO SHORTIES:

Ep. 1: Kayaba Akihiko: MWHAHA- I HAVE TRAPPED YOU ALL IN MY VIRTUAL WORLD SWORD ART ONLINE KILL OR BE KILLED (EVEN IN REAL LIFE)! Thousands of Players: AHHH! *CRY* *SCREAM* *PANIC* Klein: DEAR GOD, MY TRUE HUMAN FORM HAS BEEN REVEALED! Kirito: *Leaves*

Ep. 2: EPIC VOICE: In a world, called Aincrad, thousands of players entered and two thousand died in the first month. The first floor has not been beat, but now we see a young beta player, Kirito: Maybe I should find some friends… Asuna: I GOTZ A MYSTERIOUS COAT! YOU DON”T KNOW ME! YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM! (I don’t like her very much right now…) Kirito: FRIEND! PARTY! Lettuce go defeat Illfang of the 1st floor! *Party goes to first floor boss room* Kirito: Oh no, that a--, Diabel died… Party Members: YOU FREAKING HACKER! YOU TOTALLY KILLED HIM! NOOB! Kirito: *takes cool gear and puts it on* I AM BETA BEATER! *Leaves once again…*

Ep. 3: Kirito: I HAVE SAVED THE MOONLIT BLACK KITTY GUILD! LOVE ME! Keita: WE LOVE YOU JOIN US! Kirito: *aside* I must not tell them my true level! Sachi: I DON’T WANT TO DIE! Kirito: I WILL PROTECT! RARF RARF! *growl* Keita: *Leaves to find house* Kirito: LET’S GO GET SOME MOLLA! *Guild goes to higher level dungeon* Kirito: Oh no, WE’RE TRAPPED! *members are all killed except Kirito and Keita (he ends killing himself)* Kirito: SACHI SECRET MESSAGE! SECRET MESSAGE! SECRET SECRET FINAL MESSAGE! [Author: DAT AVATAR: ATLA REF. DOH] *Leaves again, nothing and no one behind him though*

Ep. 4: Silica: MANSTERS ARE ATTACKING ME AND MY PARTY LEFT ME AND MY DRAGGIE, PINA! HALP! Kirito: I will save you (only you)! *Pina dies* Silica: MY PINAT (Wait, that’s a food..)!I want her back! Kirito: MAGIC GOLDEN FLOWER [Author: TANGLED] ON HILL EQUAL REVIVE! LETTUCE GO! BEWARE THE ORANGE AND RED PEOPLE THOUGH! THEY WILL KILLL YOU!*Goes to field and retrieve flower* Silica: OH NO MY GUILD IS BACK AND THEY ARE EVILLLLL [Author: SpongeBob]Rosalina: I MUST HAVE FLOWER! Kirito: Haha, I have lured you here to capture your evillll guild! I AM BETA BEATER! Titan’s Hand: RUNNN!!! HE IS TOO POWAFUL!*runs* Silica: Yay, they’re gone! MUST REVIVE PINAT! *coughs* Flower gleam and glow, letting your power shine...[Author’s Note: Don’t feel like writing the rest of the song- TANGLED]. ALL: YAY NO ONE DIED THIS EPISODE! Kirito: *Leaves like a boss once again*

Ep. 5: Asuna: I HAS BECOME VICE COMMANDER OF DA KNIGHTS OF BLOOD OATS AND I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE BIG BOSS ATTACK TINY VILLAGE [Author’s Note: Just like Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin]! Kirito: FOOLISH FOOL! DEM VILLAGERS WILL DIIIEEE! BAD PLAN! *leaves(yet again)* A month later…Asuna: KIRITO! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SLEEPING?! Kirito: RELAX AND SLEEP WITH ME! *Asuna and Kirito sleep(literally you dirty minded people)* Kirito: I’M ALIIIVVEE! Must watch Asuna sleep! *Asuna wakes up* Asuna: I’M STARVING! YOU, ME GET’S NOM NOMS NOW! *Goes to eat* Asuna: WHO’S SCREAMING WHILE I’M NOMING?! *Asuna and Kirito leave restuarant* Kirito: Oh, look at the dead guy hanging on the Church by a spear! Heheheheheh… Asuna: SUKE I want to poke him… with a stick! Well, I guess he already was… Oh look, he died! Kirito: PVP FEARS! MUST INVESTIGATE! *SHERLOCK HOLMES INVESTIGATION ACTIVATE!* Asuna: Hey, look that girls crying it must be his girliefriend! Yolko: I think there was someone behind him before he was impaled… Asuna: What do you know? Do you have a ring mark? [Author: Sherlock Ref.] Yolko: GRIMLOCK MIGHT HAVE DONE THIS ‘CAUSE HE IS OLD GUILD LEADER! TRAITOR HACKER! *impaled from behind* Oh look, I’ve been impaled![Author: OLAF FROZEN]*SCREAMS EVERYWHERE* DUN DUN DUNNNN… [Author: Croods Ref. PPL]