Have any of you ever died before? No? really? Well, I have. But if we are to talk of my death, we must first cover some other topics. We shall start with my family. Then continue to what I like to call the three “B” s. Beer, bees, and battle. And finally stop with my legacy. ONWARD!

All right, let us start with a bit of family history. My mother’s name was Ealhswith, she was very pretty and petite. And she was a Mercian. My father was the famous Alfred the Great. He was the king of Wessex. My father lived a virtuous life. When he died in 899, my younger brother Edward (I’ll warn you that that is the only normal name in this “story”) took over Wessex. My father died knowing that he left the future of his country safe. Before he died, he made sure I was educated just as well as my brother, and that we both were baptized. My father was a man of the church. And then there’s me. Aethelflaed. Lady of the Mercians.

Another thing Alfred did before he died, was marry me to a man named Aethelred. Terribly similar names indeed. Let’s call him “Red”. When I married “Red”, I became queen of the Mercians. As queen of the Mercians (red was tired a lot so I was really in charge most of the time.) I fortified dilapidated cities like Gloucester and Chester. Let’s talk about Chester. I came up with road plans and city plans. The people of Chester built a great wall around the city. We finished Chester just in time, for I had had a spat with the Irish earlier on. We had compromised by me giving them a bit of land on the Mersey peninsula. But time had passed, and they got irked and hotheaded. So, they advanced on Chester. Their wanton army was valiant, but the people of Chester were tenacious. As a battle tactic, the people of Chester boiled beer and poured it on the unexpecting Irish soldiers heads as they climbed to the brim of the wall. Some of you may think that was a rash technique to waste so much beer, but it worked for us. (don’t try this at home kids.) They also took beehives and threw them on their enemy’s heads. The Irish soldiers were bewildered. One Irish chronicler reported, “The attackers could not move their legs or hands due to the myriads of bees attacking them.” The Irish retreated! Chester had won! Now the Irish cower at the thought of the battle. Thanks to me, Chester is safe from the wrath of the Irish.

After that, me and my army advanced in many cities and expanded Mercia. Some cities even surrendered before even trying to fight. That’s how powerful Mercia was. Somewhere in that time “Red” died. It was a truly sorrowful day. Then one even more sorrowful day, I fell ill and became increasingly fatigued. And soon after, I died. I died on June12, 918, in Tamworth, which was fitting since that is the stronghold which once had been the seat of Mercia’s greatest kings. I deserved to be ranked among them. After I died, my brother Edward took over and added to Wessex. I ruled benevolently, and I was one of the most prominent and renowned rulers of Mercia. As a result of Edward and I’s reign, we insured England’s United Kingdom to be what it is today.

Well, I talked about my family, mom dad, etc. Then I talked about the three “B” s, and I finally shut up by talking about my death. Obviously, the important thing was that I was Mercia’s most prominent ruler, and, unfortunately, England’s forgotten founder. Now, you are probably wondering, “hey Aethelflaed, if you died, how’d you write this today?” Well, I’ll tell you. GOD’S POWER. Tata!