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I Am Who I Am
“And Hitler takes his seat as chancellor of Germany” the old man with a strong german british accent said. The radio mumbled as my family talked over the announcers voice, no one was really paying attention to it. We were having a party for me and my twin sister’s sixth birthday and just had the radio on for extra noise. For some reason though, once the old man said Hitler the room became silent. My family didn't really like the man, he didn't seem like a good person and he didn't stand for anything my family did. We got over it because we knew eventually he’d leave office and everything would be okay, and truthfully, who worries about elections. The politicians are never as bad as everyone says they will be. I wish that was the case that time...
The date was January 30, 1933. That day is unforgettable to my memory, this was the day that would potentially ruin my life. It was cold that winter, Germany didn’t get much snow that year, but still brutally cold.In the years to come I would stay inisde a lot, not because of the cold but because of my situation.
At first the man named Hitler didn’t do much but then after a few weeks in school some kids disappeared. They just didn't show up one day or the next and so on. My family was Jewish and I didn't really realize that all these kids that were disappearing were either Jewish or Catholic until my best friend George didn't come to school. I went home and told my mother and when she heard this her face went still and cold. She told me that the situation was no big deal and he was probably on vacation. I bought the lie because Georges family often went on trips. I went to school the next day and even more kids were gone. My class of twenty four has gone down to eleven kids.
The school year ended with about nine kids in the class. More and more kids disappeared the next year. After a while the random disappearances stopped and no one left the school. Then around the time of winter in 1940 the disappearances started again, even worse this time. I went home that day to see my mother and father packing up all their clothes and I asked why but my father just said nervously,
“ Otto, Go to your room, grab the biggest suitcase you can find and put all your clothes in, no questions!” I ran to my room and next door my sister was doing the same thing, packing her bags. I was nervous and confused but I continued to my room and packed all my clothes. I tried to take some books but my father said we didn’t have room. We got into my car and my dad drove so fast down the street. We were in the car for two hours. The car ride was the most silent ride I had ever been in. I knew my father was in a “mood” and asking him a question would be a major mistake.
We drove up to an old dilapidated building. There was a tall man standing at the door with huge ring of keys. My dad looked at him and said,
“Frank this means so much to me, thank you.” The man replied,
“David, it isn't any problem, best of luck to you”. My father replied with a thank you. I was lead into the big building where my father opened a door on the floor. The stairs led to a basement that was very large and spacious. A few beds and one bathroom. The man had told
father that the bathroom was off limits during the days. The next door neighbors could hear and they thought the building was empty. I didn't see why that mattered, but I obeyed.
We all settled into the room, and my father explained the situation,
“Kids, the problem is that people are being taken away to a place where they are holding some people for a while..”
“Like a camp?” my sister asked.
“Yes like a camp, except these camps aren't good and we need to avoid them.We are going to stay here for a awhile and wait out until they stop taking us there... do you both understand?” Both me and my sister replied in unison,
“Yes, I understand”. We stayed at this room for months, being quiet, having to tiptoe, having to wait until night to go to the bathroom, not showering for days at a time. Living like this was hard and challenging, but nothing compared to what we were about to go through.
After seven months of constant hiding on a random night in October in the middle of the night a knock on the door came, we sat there in that room cowering in the dark.We knew it wasn’t fathers friend, he wouldn't come so late. The knocking was too loud anyway, like someone was breaking in. After about five minutes a man came in. He was dressed properly and very neat and told us that we need to come with him. There was no hope, we knew where we were headed... and I knew I didn’t want to go.
We were taken by train, and by we I mean my father and I. My mother and sister were put in a van and driven the opposite way. My father and I arrived the the building with a huge wired fence all along it. We entered the perimeter and were escorted by a big man with a swastika
tattooed to his arm.
We were taken to a room that had a chair, one overhead light, and some shaving tools in it. They sat down my father first and shaved his head and gave him ugly blue and white clothes, they did the same for me.
My father was taken out one door, myself out the other. I had no idea where my mother and sister were... I was terrified. I slowly walked into a room full of many other boys filled with a huge amount of bunks. The soldier told me that this bunk was my bed and I was to share it with two other people. He then left acting disgusted as if I was a disease. I sat on the bed and cried, I sat there for an hour just crying. I was living a nightmare, one I couldn’t escape.
The next day I was put to work, I saw my father in the field and tried to run to him, I didn't get far because I was hit with the butt of a gun from a soldier’s gun.I was in charge of wheeling the dirt across the field. I didn't see why this mattered but all the man said was that it taught me discipline. That day was hard, I couldn't cry or else they'd hit me, I silently worked until the end of the day.
My schedule was like this for a long time. It was about three years until it dramatically changed. The year was 1943, Hitler had been chancellor of Germany for ten years, but everyone called him a dictator when the soldiers weren't around. On a beautiful summer day I went out to work like normal, grab the wheel barrel fill it with dirt and bring it to the outside fields near the fences. That day though, I was reassigned to cleaning dishes for the man in the big house across the woods. I was lead there everyday and had to clean the dishes. I didn't know why they picked me until about a month into the job.
I hadn't seen my father for a while which was normal, but there wasn't even a hint of him,
I knew about people being killed in the camps, but I didn't know our camp had one. I looked for my father for the longest time until one man asked me what my name was. I told him and he told me that my father had died in the large chamber and told him to tell me he knew I was strong enough, he told me to be who I am no matter what anyone else says. I lost it then and there. The soldier came over and kicked me and telling me to shut up. I didn't. They then hit me with the butt of the gun once again and I lost all consciousness.
I woke up and the first thing I was told to do was the follow this man to a truck. I got on the truck and I was told not to speak. There were two other people on the truck, I didn’t look at them mostly because I was still crying about my father and I didn’t want to look at them. I got to a camp and the first person I saw was my mother... except she was leaving. I silently whispered to her,
“Where are you going?” she replied softly,
“Otto, I love you so much, don't ever forget that, please”. I was old enough to realize that I wasn't going to see her again so I told her, whispering,
“I love you too, I need to know, wheres Clara?” My mother replied quickly,
“Shes in the back of the camp, stay with her... never leave her side! I love you.” I replied once again,
“I love you too mother”. She said quickly before she was put in the truck,
“Never, ever let them take away your gifts and never let them take away your identity!”She was then put in the truck and driven away.
Wheeler 6
I was taken into the camp and shown my room just like two years ago. Luckily, I wasn't scheduled to work then so I looked for my sister. When I found my sister in the back of the
camp, she looked ill. She was on a bed and there was a woman next to her. I asked the woman what was wrong. The woman replied,
“She’s very sick, do you know her?”
“Yes, she is my sister”. I said holding back tears. The woman replied with difficulty,
“Well, you may want to say goodbye, I don't know if she’ll make it through the night” I quietly went over the her and we talked about how much we loved each other. We talked about our past, we talked about all the fun we had before. We talked about mother and father, our friends, our cousins, school, and everything involved with our life. We knew this was it for her. I knew I couldn’t cry, even though I had lost my mother and father in the span of two weeks after so many years of survival. I sat there until her last breath left her. Then two soldiers came in and took my only family away. After my sisters death, I worked at this camp and became strong, I knew I wouldn’t be killed for being weak, I was going to live for the sake of those who had died. I worked at that camp for two years until one day the soldiers came up to us and said,
“Single file line now!” I thought that this was it. All of that strength training so that I wouldn't be killed. You'd think I would want to be dead after my whole family was taken away but no, I was going to live for them. Surprisingly though, the gates opened and the men said,
“Get out, now. Get into the trucks.” Some people thought we were going to die but I knew what had happened. I remember hearing some of the soldiers talking about how Hitler was in trouble and something bad was bound to happen. I knew we was free. We were drove to a remote field and the man said that there was a train station somewhere a few miles away. Once I arrived at the station, I got a ticket with some money we were given and I stepped onto the trains platform, a free man.
After this I went to college, got my degree, got married, and moved to the United States. I think about my parents and twin sister frequently, and I know that they are up there, watching me. I miss them, but I know one day I’ll see them again, and I will never let anyone take away my gifts or identity ,and in the words of my late, heroic father, I am who I am.
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