It was more grand than Buckingham Palace, larger than the snow-covered Alps, and shinier than the gold locket around my neck. The bow facing the unknown dark blue ocean in which we would be traveling to. Titanic. Even her name gave me chills. The black, bold letters plastered on the side along with a champagne bottle newly broken for the maiden voyage. So precise, it was the queen of the ocean. I fell more in love of the sight every second that my family and I waited for our health checks. I gazed up to the shining ship, This is the start of something new, I can feel it. We were to be on the third deck along with thousands of other immigrants chasing after a new life in the promise land of America. America. Perhaps the name was just as glorious as Titanic. This exquisite ship was my guide to a whole new world. This ship would take me to find my purpose and my destiny. It would take me to the place where I would finally find why I’m here in the world and why I never made my mark anywhere else. Being a petite english girl, it is understandable why I have not found my purpose yet. Society tells me to hush up and be polite to all that I meet. I did not have a problem with this, but I did have an issue on why I was not allowed to speak my mind or live my dream and take over my father’s company in New York. Young and divine I call myself, in secret; It’s not proper in the real world.

First my right then my left, and I stood in the middle of the brass decorated hall. Golden-tan walls enclosed on me as I traveled down the narrow hall, which seemed to darken the farther we went. I could tell my ten year-old baby sister Alice was quite afraid, she wasn’t like me one bit. She was soft spoken and shy, “the perfect child” many liked to say even though I was standing beside her. I did not envy her one bit though, she had a glimmer to her that I know one day will shine. And as for my parents. Oh, my splendid parents. If it was not for them, I would not of been there starting the journey I had always wanted. Father’s grey mustache and grey-blue eyes always comforted me in times of need. He had a small watch making company, which went under last month. He took all that he had saved and decided to start a new life with all of us in America. Inspired by devotion, I was determined to start up his business with him. As for  mother, my sweet, innocent, mother. Why, she would  never hurt a fly. Her presence was always calming to me. She had a gift for speaking to others, she was a woman of few words, but the words she did speak gave hope. Dedicating her life to children she knew a thing or two about caring and giving others the gift of love. I remember the time when Alice and I were sick with a cold and she never left our sides for days. Bringing us tea, soup, and blankets for our frail bodies. Always asking, “What can I do to help?” Or a simple, “How are you feeling?” She always knew how make us feel the best we could. I do not think I ever heard a negative comment come out of her mouth. I try to learn from her and be respectful but it was hard. Alice appeared a lot like my mother, long blonde curls and squinted navy eyes, while there’s me with tangled brunette hair and large green eyes standing out like a sore thumb.

We finally reached our cramped cabin. It was nothing like I had expected. Cream colored walls with four doll sized bunks for our perfect quaint family. One sink in the middle of the wall and a small port hole on the opposite wall. It will do. Anything will do if it is taking me to America. Quickly settling in our bunks, Alice laughed as I  spoke of the young boys we may come across in the new land. “I want a tall one, with black hair and green eyes like mine!” I stated confidently with a  smirk.

“Now Nora Anne James, we will not have talk of any inappropriate matter here.” Mother replied with just enough emphasis to hush me up. Gazing out the small port hole to the outside Pacific Ocean and up to the rest of the almighty ship, I so deeply wanted to explore, I snatched Alice’s hand and pulled her up from her bunk.
“We’ll be back by supper time!” I said already halfway out the door to the unknown. Both mother and father came to us in the hall and gave each of us a hug. They never let us leave without a hug first. That was always something I admired.

That night was the grandest night of my life. Alice and I snuck from our third deck corridors and raced all the way to the bow of the marvelous ship. I’ll never forget the cold crisp air that seemed to take the breath right out of me. Under the gleaming stars, our eyes sparkled as we looked past the dark horizon. Truly feeling as if we were on top of the world, we swayed back and forth together to the rhythm of our own hums and songs. “La la la, la la la.” Alice hummed as we lifted our arms as if we were ballerinas.  I forgot how long we danced for. It seemed like all night, but at this time there were no worries of the life that was coming for us, no questioning the new world we were traveling to. There was only stillness and serenity that night. It seemed like no else was out there in the dark ocean. It was only Alice and I. Two sisters who had not a care in the world.

  Everything was still, everything was perfect, not knowing what was ahead of us, we never looked back. Until bang. Clash. Crash. We both hit the wooden deck. Hard. Chunks of ice seem to fly over our heads, landing so close to Alice and I, it could’ve destroyed our fragile legs. My knees shook as I crawled over to my little sister. Using each other’s strength, we slowly got to our feet. When boom. Another hit to the side of the boat and to the side of my body. “Alice, stay down! I’ll come over and help you! Do not move!” I warned her, as I tried to gather strength. The sparkle in our eyes turned to black as we peered the dreadful sight. Iceberg. It had stabbed the side of our beloved ship that supposedly was taking us to a new life. Trembled and shaking, I’ll never forget how the wind howled as Alice and I ran to our parents safety, only we weren’t aware of the danger we were about to put ourselves in.

Rushing down the flights of stairs we reached our third class cabins, only our parents were no where to be found. I’ll never forget the ungodly sight of screaming children and adults in languages I never heard before, it brought bleeding to my ears. The cream walls that seemed to close in on me before seemed to even shrink in size. Heads and shoulders were banging and clashing with scattering feet on the creaking floor. The aroma of sickness and distress filled the tight area. My lungs seem to shrivel as the walls did too. From the corner of my eye, I could see the trampling of Alice’s petite body. “Alice, Alice!” I screamed so loud I thought my lungs were going to cave in. Shoving and thrusting through the swarm of unfamiliar faces, I reached her and used all my strength to help her to her feet. I grabbed her little hand and promised I would never ever let go of her. I’ll never forget the chill on my ankles at that exact moment. It was as if my shoes were made of ice. The water was slowly creeping up and up.

We both shouted in unity, “ Mother, Father! Come help us, oh please God help us!” But the shouts seemed to be as quiet and non-existent as the warm breeze blowing through the cottonwood trees on a summer day. A nightmare, an absolute nightmare. When realizing the front gates were locked from the outside, I heard a few words that I finally recognized.

“Third class goes last! Third class goes last!”
“What about the women and children you’re keepin’ locked down here, huh? How are you gonna live with yourself after my children and wife drown because of you?! Huh?!” It was an old scruffed man with a nose double the size of mine. It was then I wish I hadn’t heard the familiar words; Going to die. We’re going to die. Going to die. We cannot. We cannot die. These thoughts pressed through my head, back and forth just like my feet swaying as I felt the mothership boards under me doing the same. Lights flickering, black and white, in and out. Just like my heart pumping in and out of my chest.  More wails filled the already deafening halls. I had to get out. I had to save myself and my shaking little sister. Dragging Alice by her elbow like a ragdoll, we ran through the sea of strange faces until we finally reached the other side of the last rooms of cabins. There was a door. A door that will guide us to a miracle. Alice and I pulled all our strength together and charged up the stairs. I’ll never forget the sound of the ocean waves chasing up behind me like an absolute monster.

Reaching the open air, I couldn’t quite take a sigh of relief for my parents were still no where to be found along the thousands running around the deck like a tornado. “I need women and children. All women and children over here.” Hearing this I could not think of Alice and I perhaps getting off and saving ourselves but of my dear parents who were as lost and confused as me. Where did they go? Why haven’t they found us? Are they still alive? Will I live? As these thoughts consumed my mind, I was shaken back by familiar hands. I turned to see my father’s grey-blue eyes staring back at me with tears falling down his cheeks. His trunk-sized arms bulged in his tan suit as he reached down to hold me. The warmth from his body filled mine like a burning fire in the midnight air. He then released me and his eyes stared into mine as he did on the day I was born. At this time, it was like we were the only two standing there, like the screams around us were silenced.  My mother was standing beside him, holding little Alice in her arms. My fathers large arms reached down to grab on to me when all of our feet slipped from under us. I’ll never forget the pain that ran through my head as it hit the wooden deck. My arms flaring in all directions to try to stop and hold on to anything I could. Falling down and down, harder and harder, I hit chairs, railing, and finally my sister hit into my side like the iceberg onto the boat, pushing us into the railing next to a crew member. His full muscles lifted both of us at the same time and tossed us into the dinghy that was lowering into the deep dark ocean floor. Alice screamed a bloody scream. Wrapping my arms around her, I held her and rocked her back and forth. And at that moment there was a certain peace in the below freezing air. Together and safe, we peered over the edge of the boat to see the grand ship standing straight up from the ocean surface and collapsing as it took its last gasp of air along with our parents.

And so now years later, Alice and I safely completed our journey to New York. Depressed and lonely at first, missing half our family, we found courage within each other.With Alice in school, I had to become my mother and provide for us. I decided to start a jewelry and watch making business from absolutely nothing. Earning money the way my parents have modeled for us, by hard work and dedication. The payoff was great and kept rising until our own business shop was established with ten employees and me, the owner. But I cannot think of myself as the owner, it will always be my darling parents who really own it. To this day, they are always in the back of my mind, giving me peace in hope on all aspects of my new life here in America. Now everyday when  I see my tall, black-haired green-eyed husband and our beautiful children, I think of how proud my parents must be. Alice and I work everyday to better ourselves like our amazing parents. We remain true and humble, and we’ll never forget how to spread love and laughter to all around us just like my true inspirations did so many years ago.