April 01 1945

Dear, My beloved friend

Recently I have been given the promotion to SS-Sturmbannführer and on multiple occasions represented the Nazi military at Hitler's speakings. I am frequently by his side and I sometimes imagine myself killing the source of this war. I am always given the opportunity to do so and yet my American commanding officers say otherwise. However, I feel like I wouldn't pull the trigger even if the opportunity presented itself. Because this place is slowly reforming me. My morals my beliefs are dissipating. I can't take being here anymore. I cannot bear the pain that they see as right. My hatred is the only thing keeping me alive. My hatred for the German Workers' Party is the only thing keeping me sane. But idiocy has befallen my soul. An Idiot...that is what I am. Because I've fiddled with power and power is dangerous. Fear is their power. What could you do against them? What can you say that would be potent enough to cripple or dismantle what they have created. Even if one could successfully cripple the government, you would not be able to escape their eyes for more than 4 days. That is why one cannot say or attempt any sort of action. Silence is Safety. Safety only comes in the act of obedience. Perfection is the ultimate Strength. Strength is in the eyes of blue. That is perfection. That is true beauty. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but the beholder has left them. Where could a lover of all men be in a world such as this. There couldn't be, there shouldn't be. Where is He when His world is burning. Burning because of one man he had created. A man who does not even think there is insanity in slaughtering the children of his country. And yet where is the one they call the beholder? Is he sitting idly by observing the actions we have made? Silently critiquing our judgement? Is he speaking and we are too stubborn to listen? Why not come in the form of fire, and in a voice like that of thunder, command that this stop and that peace be! Politics are power. I feel fortunate to now be in a position where I am away from the battle within Berlin. An Observant from within a fortress. A fortress built by a man with vision, a man with promise, and the voice of the future. But all men must fall from their place of power because of the first fall. The fall that shook the earth forcing our beholder to hide. A fall that would be judged by the obedience of man. And in knowledge of this fall, the beholder chose to give men a choice. A choice to live or to die. To do right or to cause conflict. All men must fall from the power they were given and when they fall they are to never recover. My dear friend do not be concerned over my well being. I feel sane but slowly falling apart to my surroundings. I would not worry it is not worth your time. But if I do not return I would like to ask a favor of you. A final request of sorts. Tell my companions I'll be ok and not to concern themselves with me. You know the ones I speak of. And tell them...that this war is soon coming to an end and that we will be victorious. I have had this recurring dream. We were running through the beautiful farm lands of Berlin. The wind caressing our faces and the trees greeting us as we came by. Maybe one day...in another place...we could run away and finally be free of worry. Free of doubt and concern. Free of everything. I must go... I am needed elsewhere at this time.  I do believe this is my last letter to you. I wish you all the very best life has and will continue to offer. I feel my sanity slipping from me. I must hurry before I am broken. I must hold my morals close to me for that is the only thing that is going to keep me sane. Goodbye my friend.

Nieder mit Hitler,