It's cold sitting here-- snow covers my grass like a blanket. I can see Her house from here as the flakes fall from the grim sky. She walks out on Her porch, I look down not to make eye contact, but I am sure she's well aware that I sit and stare out this window, often. I notice Her yellow fuzzy socks. Then, I see Her mug held by her fresh painted nails. I look down. I look away. My nail polish is chipping. My water bottle is too cold. I need to do my nails- I need coffee. I need to get warm. I need to get pretty.
 
It's raining now. On days like this, the window becomes part of my routine. There is nothing I rather do than sit at this window and watch it feel everything as I long to feel something. There is a bird that flew past--it must have told her how numb I feel on days like this. I watch Her grab her polka dot rain boots and jump in the water puddles in Her drive-way. I watch Her dance in the rain. I watch Her mock my sadness. I dig my thumb nail into my thigh, forcing myself to stop staring out this stupid window. I need to move-I need to leave this window. I need to find my rain boots. I need to get happy.
 
Lately, I have been better. I have stared out the window less. Its been sunny. I meet the UPS truck out by my mail box to collect my new summer attire from some popular online stores. And of course, She just had to walk outside of Her house too- in Her bikini. She makes the UPS man whistle. I look at him with disgust as he just only hands me my package. I run inside to run to the window and watch Her. She flips her long hair and makes small talk with him. My hair is still up to my shoulders. My stomach isn't that flat yet-- there is a bikini in that new package. I need to be more flattering- I need to grow my hair out. I need to lose weight. I need to be whistle worthy.
 
I walk outside to ship back the clothes I got a about a month ago. They are too big now. She runs past me with a few of her friends in Her gym clothes. They are skinny. I go back inside to put on my baggy sweat pants, they don't form my body like Her gym leggings. I place the tee shirt over me, it doesn't fit tight enough around my waist like Her tank top did. I step foot onto my elliptical and run. By myself. In my old clothes. I need to go shopping-I need to run faster. I need more friends.  I need to stop being so lonely.
 
I find my way back to the window. Even though its sunny over there, the sky is still muck over here. She is making a flower bed. I chuckle. I already have one. But I notice, my flowers are wilting. I need to go outside and stop staring out this window. I need to start watering my flowers. I need to start growing.
 
The truck is packed. Dad and his friend are currently carrying the couch out of the basement. I smile, even though its starting to drizzle. I throw the last box into the car. I step back and look at my old house. I reminisce my old memories, my old habits. I look over at Her house, just one last time throughout this dingy window. Just to see Her staring out Her window pane like I did mine.