“Wide load coming through.”

“Freak.”

“Weirdo.”

“Nobody wants to be like Mia”

This is an everyday occurrence. I’ve learned to get used to it, because people suck. Correction: most people suck. But walking down these hallways, are at best dreadful. It’s not as bad with headphones. At least you can block out some of the comments. Music has been my escape. Music is one of my only forms of happiness anymore.

I wish I didn’t have to move here.

I moved to this school middle of freshman year. I’ve been here a year and three months, and I hate it. It’s not the fact I hate the work. I hate how people treat me here. People think it’s okay to say rude hurtful things to me. For what reason? To make other people feel as miserable as them? I get it, my hair is bright purple. That’s not a valid reason to make fun of me constantly. A lot of people have crazy colored hair, and nobody says anything to them.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Students almost trample each other as they push their way out of the building into the cool spring air. I stand by the bright yellow lockers as I wait for everyone else to leave.

Finally, the day is over. I take a deep breath as I walk to my car. A group of girls are standing there. Waiting on me. Again.

“Oh look, the freak is here.” Emma tosses her long brown hair over her shoulder. The other girls are staring at me.

I honestly don’t know what I did to these girls. I try to get into my car but they’re blocking the door.

“Emma come on. Please let me get into my car.” I sigh and go to grab my keys out of my purse. Brooke, who looks like a shorter version of Emma, snatches them out of my hand.

“Brooke please give them back.” I know I sound desperate but I just want to go home.

“Hmmm… okay. Only if you give me 20 dollars.” Brooke looks at Amanda with a smirk and Amanda’s bright green eyes seem to look at me with hatred.

Is she serious? That’s my lunch money for the rest of the week. But if I don’t give it to her then I may never leave.

“Fine.” I sigh.

Brooke snatches the money out of my hand. “Thanks, I found some earrings I want to buy.” she smirked.

Finally, they walked away giggling. I get in my car as fast as I can and lock the doors in case they decide to come back. I’m safe, for today at least.

I crank the radio. Wasted Love by Matt McAndrew is playing. I let myself get lost in the lyrics, trying to forget school completely, trying to forget Emma and her friends, forget what everyone said in the hallways, forget all the insults.

            When I pull into the parking lot of the big blue building my mood instantly changes. This is the one place I know that I won’t get judged. I can be myself here. My local art studio. I spend most of my time here, whenever I’m not in school.

            “Oh look! It’s Miss Mia.” Ms. Barker wipes her paint cover hands on her apron before she hugs me. She smells like vanilla and paint.

            “It’s so nice to see you Ms. Baker.”

            “How’s school been?” she asked.

            “Good.” This is what I tell everyone. If I tell them what’s really happening, then they tell me to ignore it and to not listen to everyone. They tell me I’m great, so other people’s opinions don’t matter. But what they don’t understand is that when so many people say so many things to you, it gets hard to ignore.

            “That’s good. You can go ahead into the studio, feel free to use anything in there.”

            “Thanks Ms. Baker.”

            It takes everything in me to not run into that room and grab everything I see. Art is another escape for me. Sometimes I pain random things like minions, or book and T.V characters. Other times I paint emotional things.

            Today I walk into the room and scan the colorful bottles of paint. I’m immediately drawn to bright oranges and reds and I find myself painting space. The focus is the bright galaxy in the middle. As I’m painting, I wonder if life exists other than on Earth. I wonder what their lives are like. I wonder if they would accept me.

            Before I know it. It’s already 6:30 pm. I’ve been here for three hours. As I put everything away, I wonder what I want to eat. I decide on Steak n’ Shake, which is my favorite.

As I pull into Steak n’ Shake, I notice the parking lot is full.

As I’m walking inside, I notice it’s getting cooler outside, I open the door and the aroma of hamburgers and fries smells delicious. Once I get seated, I order a brownie batter milkshake and an order of fries. As I wait for my order, I hear the bell over the door ring, as it always does whenever someone walks in.

I turn to see who walked in and I see the blonde clones. My heart drops. There is Emma and her posse. I scrunch down in my seat, trying to hide but it's no use.

She spots me and starts walking over to me. Great.

The waiter, who I’ve learned is named Ava, brings me my milkshake and fries right as Emma makes her way towards me.

Emma sits across from me as her posse stands.

“Are you really going to eat all of that?” Emma teases.

I don’t say anything. I was, but I don’t even have the appetite anymore.

“Well are you going to answer?” Emma looks at Brooke and Amanda who are laughing obnoxiously.

“Yes Emma. I was. Can you please leave so I can eat?” Again, I’m disappointed at how small I seem.

“Okay. Talk to ya later.” She blows a kiss and stands up. As I think she is leaving, she turns around.

“You don’t need this anyways.” She jokes as she knocks my milkshake over. And it spills all over me. They burst out laughing as they leave.

I just sit there for a moment in shock. How could someone do that to another person? I knew they were mean girls, but I didn’t know they were that mean.

“Hey sweetie, are you okay?”

I look up to see Ava crouching beside me. I wipe away a tear quickly and mumble, “Yeah I guess.”

“Here, let me help you.”

I don’t say anything.

Ava takes some napkins and wipes the melted milkshake off of my jeans. I notice the Hogwarts pin on her shirt.

“I like your Hogwarts pin.”

“Thanks,” she smiles, “Are you a fellow Harry Potter fan as well?”

“Ummm yes, I reread the books at least once a year, and watch the movies about once a month.” Ava laughs, but unlike Emma and her friends, it's a nice laugh. I smile.

“Come on honey, follow me.”

I get up and follow her. She’s taking me out to the back. We end up at her car. She goes to the trunk and hands me some clothes.

“You can have these. You can change in my car if you don’t want to go back inside.” She offers.

“Okay. Thank you. But I’ll just go back to the bathroom and change.”

I walk back inside and change. I throw the messy clothes in my bag. I don’t know why she’s being so nice to me.

I walk back to the booth I was sitting in. It’s covered in milkshake. I grab some napkins and start trying to wipe up the mess.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that, I will.”

Ava stands there with two boxes and a to-go cup.

“Here, these are for you. I didn’t know what you like so the top is a cheeseburger and fries and the bottom is a grilled cheese and fries. And here is another brownie batter milkshake. Don’t worry about paying either.”

I’m at a loss for words.

“Th-thank you so much. I don’t mind staying here to help clean up. You work hard enough as it is.”

“No honey don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it, and I’ll mess up those girls’ orders, especially the tall one.” She says as she winks. The thought of her messing up Emma’s order make happier than it should.

“Okay.” I laugh. I actually laugh. I don’t know when the last time I laughed was.

I go to walk out but she says my name and I turn around.

“Don’t let those mean girls get to you. I’ll be here tomorrow from five to nine if you want to chat.”

“I’ll try. And thank you. I’ll definitely be here.” I smile. And she smiles back. Maybe this is a start of a new friendship.

The next day schools goes by in a blur. Today, I don’t pay as much attention to the name calling. My head is focused on five pm. To when I get to talk to Ava. I’m excited and nervous.

I end up leaving school during 6th period so I don’t have to deal with Emma. That’s the last thing I need. For a while I just drive around. But I end up going to the art studio.

Ms. Baker is busy chatting to another girl, so I just head on into the studio. Today I gravitate towards watercolor. I love how soft the colors are.

I feel as if I check my phone every five minutes. Finally, after what seems like days, it's five o’ clock.

As I head out of the studio, I sprint to my car. But as I’m driving a dose of anxiety kicks in.

I’ve never told anyone about Emma. And telling someone scares me.

I pull into the Steak n’ Shake parking lot and just sit there for a while. I debate leaving, but I don’t.

I walk in and immediately Ava sees me. She whispers something to another employee and walks towards me.

“I was worried you wouldn’t show up.” she says as she walks towards me.

“I about left.” I admit.

“Well I’m glad you didn’t. Come on.” She motioned for me to follow her.

“Wait you’re working.”

“I told them I was taking the day off. I have a surprise for you, come on.”

She’s taking off work for me. Why? We just met yesterday.

“Ava that’s not necessary.” I’m suddenly flooded with guilt about her missing work for me.

“Oh, shush and follow me.” She laughs lightly and walks out the door.

She leads me to her car and opens the trunk. She pulls out a bright purple bag.

“It’s nothing special, but I use to do this whenever I got bullied. Still do.” She admits.

She gets bullied. How? She is the nicest person I’ve ever met.

She pulls out a purple journal, stickers, pens and coloring pencils.

“Every time I would feel alone, I would journal. Or whenever I needed to let out feelings I would journal. It helps. You can write whatever you feel, and you won’t get judged. Of course, you can always talk to me, but I figured there would be certain situations you didn’t want to talk about.”

“Th-thank you. I don’t even know what to say.” I stutter.

“No problem. I just brought a couple things to decorate the pages to make it more fun. I didn’t know what color you would want so I just got purple, like your hair.” She smiles

“Thank you, I’ll definitely use all of this.” I say as I hold everything to my chest.

“No problem. Anything for a friend.” She smiles.

A friend. She wants to be my friend. This is such a foreign feeling to me.

“I’m still off work if you want to drive somewhere so we can talk,” she offers.

“I’d like that.” I answer.

We get into her car and she drives. At first, it’s silent. But then she says, “How long has Emma bullied you?”

“Over a year.”

“Wow.”

That’s all that’s said until we pull into a park. We both get out of the car.

“Is it okay of we go to the swings?” she asks.

“Yeah that’s fine.”

We start walking to the swings. And I’m glad I brought my jacket. The night air is cooler than I expected. As we’re walking to the swings, I notice there is only one streetlamp, which is directly beside the swings.

“Are you okay with talking about this?” she asks as we start to swing.

“Yeah. It’s scary. But I trust you.”

“I wouldn’t judge you.”

“I know.”

At first, we just swing. But then I start telling the story. I tell her how Emma runs the school. And how the first day I got to the school she decided she didn’t like me. I tell her what everyone says in the hallways. And how the teachers do nothing about it. They just sit and laugh. I tell her how nobody, out of the 2,379 students in my school, sticks up for me. I tell her what Emma has done, along with her friends.

Once I start talking, I can’t shut up. For a year, I’ve bottled everything up inside of me. Talking to nobody. Once I’ve told her everything, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of me.

We both sit in silence, wiping away our tears.

“I’m so sorry. You’re so strong. I don’t know how you handle all of that.”

My answer is simple.

“Art.”

“Is that it?”

“Mainly yes. I also never go to school without headphones. Art and music help me.” 

“That’s amazing Mia.”

I wipe away a few more tears and notice I’m not embarrassed to cry in front of her. I look at my phone, and I see that it’s nine pm.

“Woah it’s already nine o’ clock.”

“I better get you back then.”

I honestly don’t want to go. I wish we could talk more.

As we are driving it’s quiet. Both of us lost in our thoughts.

She pulls in next to my car, and we both sit there.

“Whenever I was bullied. I tried to not let it get to me. But it did, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. But I found my escape, journaling and studying. I know it’s hard Mia, but one day you’ll notice the comments bothering you less and less. That’s called improvement. Don’t expect to wake up and not care anymore. It won’t happen that way. It will take time. It wasn’t until my senior year I started not caring. Don’t give up. You’re strong Mia. Even if you don’t think you are. Keep your head up and remember it won’t last forever. And I’m here for you.”

“Thank you for everything. I’ll definitely try journaling. Maybe it will help me too. And I’ll try to take your advice as well. I’m sorry I made you miss work.”

“Girl don’t feel sorry. You didn’t make me do anything. I like hanging out with you.” Ava smiles at me and nudges me with her elbow.

“Me too. I guess I should get going, it’s getting pretty late.”

“Okay well here is my cell. Text me if you need anything.”

She hands me a slip of paper.

“I will. See you soon. And thank you.”

We hug and I get in my car. I feel like I can face Emma. Ava is right. I can’t give up. And I can’t give in. I can’t let her push me around anymore.

The next day I don’t arrive to school dreading it. I feel invincible. I walk through the hallways without my headphones. I hear every name people call me.

All day I try not to let the comments get to me. For the most part, they don’t. It’s difficult, but I remind myself I’m strong, like Ava said. As I dig for my keys in my bag, I feel the smooth surface of the purple journal.

I don’t run to my car. I take my time. As I’m walking, Emma and her friends are standing there.

I take a deep breath and continue forward. I got this. This will be the time I stand up for myself.

“What do you want Emma.” I stand tall and face them dead on.

“Oooh she’s feisty today girls.” Emma jokes.

“Move Emma” For the first time my voice is solid.

“Woahh, the freak has a voice.”

“Yes, I do have a voice, and I’m going to use it. I used to let you silence me, but not anymore. You bully everyone. You think you’re all that. But I think you’re a bully because you hate yourself. So that’s why you bully me and everyone else instead of bettering yourself. But I’m done letting you bully me Emma. You and everyone else at this school thinks it’s okay to say rude and hurtful things and it's absolutely disgusting. So, if I were you, I’d turn right around and walk away and never speak to me again.”

Her jaw drops, she stands there, either in shock or embarrassment I don’t know which.

“Come on girls, we have somewhere to be.” She turns around angrily.

They walk away. This time they’re not laughing. This time, I won.

Two weeks later

Emma hasn’t said anything to me since I stood up to her. Nobody says anything to me anymore. Of course, the bullying hasn’t stopped completely. I still get the occasional insults, but nobody is stealing from me or dumping milkshakes on me so that’s a plus.

I don’t see other girls getting bullied as much either. I don’t think the bullying will stop completely, but I’m going to try to make that happen, even if that means finding people who are being bullied like I was, and talking to them one at a time. Like Ava did for me.