The disgustingly hot car and muffled voices were practically attacking me. The voices being the driving instructors and my internal monologue. The words ¨you failed¨ rung in my head a thousand times, almost as if they were mocking me. 

¨It's only a drivers test,¨ the woman next to me reasures, but the difference between me and her is she has money and I don't. To retake a drivers test you must pay fifty dollars, fifty dollars I don't have, and neither does my mom. I beg, practically on my knees at this point, asking the woman whose name I can't be bothered with to please just let me pass, but she won't budge.  

I get out of her car in a rage, beginning my tedious walk home, rehearsing what I'm going to say when I tell my mom..and then it hits me. I don't actually have to tell her, I could just say I passed and retake it in secret. But how on earth was I going to get that money? My mom wont let me have a real job because it will get in the way of school and god knows that she won't be paying another fifty for me to retake a test that I failed. It felt like the world was against me, that I was standing in the middle of a battlefield preparing for war. I was supposed to pass, I should have passed, I NEEDED to pass, but I failed, like always. As I walked, a gigantic rain cloud formed over my head, I wanted to cry, scream, yell, SOMETHING to let out the anger I was feeling. I took a deep breath in as I arrived at my front porch step. Through the screen door I could see her, my mom. There she was, clueless, expecting to hear good news when in reality there was none to share. Before I could even let myself in she swung open the door. 

¨Soooo how was the test? Did you pass?¨ Her voice squealed with excitement. I put on a brave face and swallowed my pride, ready to tell her the truth when the only word I could manage to say was ¨yes.¨

A lie, a big fat lie. I didn't pass, but I couldn't bear to crush her spirit. She looked so proud, so happy that I finally did something right, so I went with it. 

Before I knew it I was laying in a whirlpool full of lies, one after another they just kept coming. My mother couldn't afford to get me a car, but she said I could use hers to drive to school and she will take the bus to work. My heart shattered, she's letting me use her car and is willing to take the bus just so I can drive myself to school. So I agree. I agree to drive her car without a license. How stupid am I? My mother eventually stops rambling and I turn to go upstairs to try and wrap my head around the situation. Before I leave the kitchen my mother grabs a hold of my arm. ¨Your father would be so proud of you,¨ she says. Resulting in me giving a weak smile then quickly going upstairs.

The minute I get into my bedroom I begin to cry, cry like I never had before. Something about hearing the words “your father would be so proud of you” just made me feel guilty. I knew lying was wrong, and continuing the lies would only dig me further in my grave, but what else was I supposed to do? 

Later that night, around 11 pm my mother was already in her room for the night, so I went downstairs to grab a snack. While ruffling through the cabinets I notice my mother’s purse and wallet lying on the counter next to me. I paused for a moment then hesitantly reached for her wallet, opening it to see one fifty dollar bill. Perfect I thought, I can retake the test  then find a way to pay her back this summer with babysitting money, she will never have to know. I begin to slip the bill in my back pocket, my hands beginning to shake nervously.  I didn't know what I'd do if I got caught, but there was no looking back now. 

The next morning I headed downstairs to grab a quick breakfast before school, running into my panicked mother ransacking the kitchen like a mad man. “Whats going on?” I exclaim, trying to get her to stop pacing. She turned around to face me so fast she almost fell over. “Fifty dollars, fifty dollars gone.” My heart drops, the room begins to spin. I can practically hear my heart beating out of my chest and my head yelling at me to come clean.  Here it comes I think, she's going to confront me. “Jules there was fifty dollars in my wallet, have you seen it? We needed that money for groceries, I could have sworn it was in here last night,” she says pointing to her bag. I hesitate, not knowing what to say or how I should react, but instead of coming clean the only words I mutter are “no, I'm really sorry mom I haven't seen it.” Another lie. She nods, telling me that it's fine and that I should get a move on to school. I agree,  grabbing my bag and keys then bolting out the door. When I get in the car, another wave of guilt hits me. She needed that money for groceries and I took it, took it for my own selfish reasons, just to retake some stupid test. I felt like an evil villain in a Disney movie, if she knew that I stole from her she would be so hurt, but where else was I supposed to get that money? 

Without a care in the world, I'm driving with my music blasting, trying to forget about the heinous situation I'm in, when suddenly I see blinding red and blue flashing lights behind me.

I freeze up, there's no way that I'm being pulled over I think, I wasn't speeding. I slow down and make my way to the side of the road, gripping the steering wheel intensely. I feel tears welling up, I don't think I’ve ever been this scared before. I continue looking forward and then slowly roll down my window to greet the officer who is now towering over my window, creeping down at me with a monstrous gaze. “Good morning officer,” I say, trying to sound chipper, but my voice quivers. 

He quickly replies with “Ma'am, do you know one of your tail lights is out?” I sigh in relief, thank god it's just a tail light.

 “No, I'm sorry I had no idea.” I say, trying to act natural. 

“It's no big deal, but I will need to see your license and registration for a moment please”. He says, indicating that I grab them out of the glove compartment. I go to reach over and then it hits me. It felt like a ton of bricks had just been dropped on my chest. Busted, I thought. My hands began to sweat, I grabbed the registration and hand It over to him, hoping he didn't mention the license. 

“I need your license as well,” he says with a straight face. 

I smile, “Oh right, sorry I'll grab it now.”  This time instead of reaching into the glove compartment I reach into my wallet, pretending to search for it. 

I look up at the officer with starry eyes, “God I'm such an idiot, I must have left my license in my other wallet,” I say trying to play it off cool, but he doesn't like this response. 

“Ma'am, have you been driving without a license?” he spits out.

 “Yes, but I had no idea,” I replied with a shake in my voice. 

He shakes his head. “What is your full name and age, please?” he asks. 

“Jules Cameron, and I'm 16." 

“When did you get your license, Jules?” He asks, pressing me to answer. I looked down, my heart began to beat faster and faster,  a million thoughts running through my mind. I know lying to a police officer is worse than lying to my mom, it was time to come clean. 

“I’m sorry sir, but I dont have one.”

 “Alright Jules I'm going to need you to step out of the car with your hands behind your back,” he says while swinging open my door. 

I comply, stepping out of the car completely shaking, not wanting to get myself into further trouble. He handcuffs me which I thought was a little excessive, and as he does so begins stating my rights. We drove in almost complete silence the entire way. Tears streamed down my face but I couldn't wipe them away with my hands. I felt humiliated.

Breaking the silence he exclaims, “Driving without a license can earn you up to 90 days in jail and a fine of fifty to one hundred dollars, but since you are a minor it will be a little different.” Wow, way to make someone who's just been handcuffed and thrown into the back of a police car feel great I think, almost snickering at myself, but that soon fades as we begin to pull up to the police station. 

Before I know it, I'm standing in the police station behind bars, staring at the phone I get to use to make one call. That one call being my mother. I dial her number with shaky hands then bring the phone up to my ear to hear it ringing. It rings for a few seconds and then I hear her voice.

“Jules, I swear to god if I hear your voice on the other end!” She says in a not so sing-song tone, I sniffle out a “mom?” Silence on the other end. “Mom, hello are you there?” Silence again. 

“What happened, what did you do, are you alright?” She says, I could tell she was crying which made me cry even more.

 “I just need you to get down here.” I manage to say. 

“I'll be there as soon as possible, I don't know how long the bus ride will be,” she says with a loud sigh then hangs up the phone. 

I walk away from the phone, slouching myself against the wall. I breathed in heavily, my voice shaking as I did so. A man with greasy hair and dirty shoes sat across from me, I wondered what he had done to get in here I think, but I didn't really want to know. I tried not to stare, mom always said it's rude to stare, but my gaze keeps falling on him. He flashes a smile at me in which I return, being friendly, not wanting to start anything. But he begins to strike up a conversation, something I was desperately trying to avoid.  

“So how'd you get in here?” he says, motioning for my answer. I hesitate, not knowing what to say but confide in him anyways.

“I failed my drivers test, told my mom I didn't, stole her money, drove without my license, got pulled over... blah blah blah, you get the picture?”

He stares at me with a confused look on his face, “Why'd you steal her money?”

“Because I needed fifty dollars to pay for the test retake and couldn't get it anywhere else. I saw it in her bag and thought it was perfect, until she told me she needed the money for groceries. I feel completely guilty, she does everything for me and I stole from her. Money that she worked hard for, and she doesn't even know yet.”

“Well, when she comes to get you, which I'm assuming she is, you should give her the money back, tell her you're sorry and most importantly tell her how much you appreciate her. She'll be mad, but she'll get over it eventually, you just need to be completely honest, have some courage and don’t run from this, it will only make things worse.”

I smile at his words, he was right, about everything. 

I look up, my eyes meeting his, “Thank you,” I say, “You're right, about it all.”

And with that I see my mom, standing at the desk talking with the officer who brought me here when he gets up walking towards me with a set of keys. He unlocks the door and it swings open, bringing me face to face with my mom. I couldn't help but cry, I stood up and rushed over to her, pulling her into the biggest hug ever. 

“I'm so sorry mom, about everything, I just didn't want to disappoint you,” I say in between cries. She hugs me back, squeezing me tightly. She was silent which I knew meant she was crying as well, my suspicions were confirmed when I heard her sniffling. 

She finally spoke up, “It's okay, we will figure everything out, don't worry.”

She pulls back with a smile, “You could never disappoint me, Jules. You know how to make me mad, but you could never disappoint me.” 

I hugged her one last time then turned around and gave the man I met a small wave while mouthing the words thanks. 

The police officer who brought me in looks at me with a cold but gentle glare, “I'm letting you off the hook this time, but next time there will be bigger consequences.”

I nod and thank him, turning to leave out of the police station, when I remember about the fifty dollars. I stop dead in my tracks, reaching my hand into my back pocket pulling out the bill. I hand it to my mother with an ashamed expression on my face. She looks down at the bill, confused but realizes quickly why I was giving it to her. 

“I should have never taken it, I was being selfish and I realize that now. You have worked to give me everything in life and I have completely taken it for granted. I appreciate everything that you do for me, and hope that one day I can be a mother like you.” 

This time she really starts to cry, wrapping me in a bear hug and giving me a kiss on the head. 

“I love you, Jules. And nothing could ever change that.”