My Dearest Bella | Teen Ink

My Dearest Bella

August 16, 2021
By Anonymous

Bella woke up and saw a sealed envelope and a rose next to her head. On the envelope was written "My Dearest Bella" in a hand she had never seen before. She sat up, opened it, and read:

 

My Dearest Bella,

If all goes according to plan, you will be reading this on the morning of your College Graduation. I am so sorry, my love, that I could not be there with you to celebrate it, but I must go, very soon.

Graduating is an accomplishment and a very special moment. I am so proud of you for making it this far.

Thinking back to my 13th birthday, I remember most distinctly the advice my mother gave me as we sat out on a porch swing listening to the crickets sing and watching the fireflies. She put her hand on my knee and said "Look up at the moon. Your limit in life is beyond that. You have so much to give, my dearest, so many gifts and so much love. Use those well. They are a gift from God. Whatever happens around you, keep your eyes ever upward, and do not shift your gaze to anything else. Shoot for the moon, and you will go miles beyond it."

That, my angel, is my advice for you on this special day. I remember when the doctor brought you to me after you were born. He looked me in the eye and said "Your daughter will be capable of great things and great strength. She is a blessing to be ever thankful for."

I know we didn't always get along. I know I came home high on drugs or alcothol almost every night. I know I worked you hard. I know you ran away because of me. I know you deserved a better mom than I was, but I love you. You and your generation are the future of this earth. I am ever so sorry that I provoked you the way I did and treated you the way I did. Your anger for me was absolutely justified.

Again, I am ever so sorry that I could not be there to celebrate this milestone with you.

Shoot for the moon, my darling! You are so strong and will give so much to the world. Keep fighting life's troubles and keep your eyes gazing upwards.

Carry on with life. I believe in you.

 

All my love,

Your mother

 

Bella let the letter fall onto the floor. Parts of the writing were bleeding with tears, both hers and her mothers. Both had cried over that letter, and were united by it. She lifted her head towards the sky and said "Mother, I will keep my gaze forever up there on you. I love you too, and I'm sorry I didn't stop you before it came to the end that it did." 

That day, Bella graduated college with that letter in her blouse pocket, right by her heart. 

Throughout life, she kept her eyes upward on her mother, who had become her hero. So maybe she had handled her problems by numbing herself with wine and pills. So maybe she was aggrivating and hard to get along with. So maybe she and Bella had rubbed each other the wrong way, but that doesn't change the fact that they were of the same flesh and blood. They had the same family. And Bella never stopped wishing that her mother was around. But, as she had told her, Bella moved on with life and left her stamp on the world.

And she never took her gaze off of the moon.



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