“Congrats big man, you made Cup Black,” bellowed Coach Toney in his rich and full British accent. 

Boom! The time bomb slowly ticking in my head had finally gone off. The eruption of emotions I felt was truly indescribable. The feeling of relief that shortly ensued was second to none. Not to mention the smile that slowly crept it’s way along my face as I tried to conceal my emotions from my teammates. This one singular moment was one of the most pivotal moments in my life, showing me how vital the right mentality is to one’s success and to one’s failures. 

The moments leading up to tryouts were undoubtedly the most uncertain and nervous moments of my life, knowing that the rest of my soccer career could be at stake played a large role in that. The singular thought of not making the national team, or any team at that, was daunting beyond belief. My dad could sense my negative thoughts, he turned to me and grabbed my shoulder. He looked me square in the eyes, as though he was gazing into my soul, and said, “Don’t be your own worst enemy Sean, the only person holding you back is yourself, champ.” 

Walking up to the check-in tent I was beyond giddy, my lip had started to ooze blood from the biting. My nails could only get so short from the picking. My brain was a jungle of emotions, my negative thoughts painting a mosaic of doubt in my brain. I gazed upon the beautiful green of the soccer fields before me and the coaches tent where all the coaches gathered with their clipboards, the blue sky shining down upon me and the 230 other athletes, the sweet yet bitter aroma from the freshly cut grass filling our nostrils. Our cleats gripping the moist soil with an assuring intensity. The rapid yet steady thumping of our hearts filling our ears. As we all walked over to our assigned fields a strange and unfamiliar sense of comradery came over me. Knowing that we all had each other's backs and could all sit at the table of brotherhood together calmed me. It was as though a switch had been flicked in my brain. I took a deep breath. I thought back to the hundreds upon hundreds of hours I had spent on my own. I grabbed the reins to my brain, not letting it control me, but simply controlling it. Giving me peace and preventing the negative thoughts that were sure to ensue otherwise, guiding me down the yellow brick road to success. After those first two rigorous days of tryouts, I came to realize that a free mind is one of the most influential and important attributes a soccer player can have. The calming of myself prior to tryouts allowed me to utilize a positive and free mindset in my play, which gave me the ability to play soccer as it was meant to be played, freely. Only then could I see the clear and vivid picture, the picture that portrayed the importance of confidence in myself which I have lacked all this time.

My exceptional play throughout tryouts was a gift to my confidence as I was called up to talk to coach Tony. After hearing the words of confirmation from him, “You made the team,” I learned something of inequivalent importance about myself. The hours I spend on my own are the most important hours of my life, but if I happen to lack the proper mentality I might as well throw all those hours down the drain, for an appropriate mentality is far more vital to success than anything else. I learned that my performance, in any given subject, whether it's sports, school, a job, or my social life, that 25% comes from hard work and effort, 75% comes from having an impeccable and bulletproof mentality. The reason I struggled to acquire the confidence and mentality of, out work all your competition and never get in your own head, is simply because once you get to that mental stage, people aren’t going to understand you and your hunger to succeed. That’s why I struggled to get there. Knowing that I might not be understood by people that I loved and cared about was beyond intimidating for a kid such as myself. But after hearing those words, “You made the team,” I learned that if I really want to succeed, all those sacrifices I had to make, and all the hours I spent grinding, sweating, and working, all those hours paid off. And all my blood sweat and tears had bequeathed upon me success and an ever-lasting sensation of happiness and satisfaction. Leading me to the concept that if I were to be given the opportunity to do it all again, I unquestionably would. For this experience in my life, though short, was beyond monumental. In a way, this experience furthered my knowledge of myself and how my brain works. To conclude, as cliche as it may sound, this time in my life helped me find myself, it taught me about how vital confidence and control is to my performance in life, it also gave me a sense of how my brain works and what I can do to allow myself to be free in my mindset and prevent overthinking. This experience, though it was a small blip of time in the grand scheme of things, changed my approach to life and it’s obstacles for the betterment of myself and others.