The suns steaming rays could be felt off the snow on what was another beautiful, bluebird day in the glorious Rocky Mountains. Ed, a mental, not much physical, doppelgänger of Lindsay Lohan, he always has some kind of problem. Ed has been a skier his whole life, growing up in the Rocky Mountains, there was no way he couldn’t be. However, Ed never has really had a true understanding of how much he needs skiing in his life.
“How you doin today Eddie?” said a lifty to Ed as he approached the chair
“The sun is super bright today, my eyes feel like their being bathed in hot oil,” Ed said in a annoyed tone, the lifty gave him a chuckle and waved him on as he knew that was just ole’ Ed. It was a bluebird day after a big storm of 16”, on the mountain everyone excitement could not be contained, except Ed.
“Woooooo! Awesome!” Screamed a few riders as they flew down the hill.
“ pfft, amateurs, it’s like they’ve never skied fresh snow before, ha,” Ed said to himself in a narcissistic tone. Ed got to the top of the chair, skied off and began skiing down the hill for what was probably the 5000 thousandth time. Like most skiers know, everybody eats dust once in a while, As Ed moseyed down, linking slow, soft, turns one after the other, he caught an edge on a tree sticking out and did a double ejection cartwheel headfirst into the snow.
“AGHHHH!” He screamed in anger, “ I hate this! Who left a tree in the run! Now I am soaking wet and freezing!”
As Ed had a fit, riders flew by baffled by how angry someone could be a on such a beautiful day, no one offering him any words of encouragement as Ed was someone they wouldn’t want to tangle with. Sadly, that was just another day for ole’ Eddie. He’d done it his whole life, so he’s never known how awful life was without it. He drove back down through the sky scraping, sea of white towers, where the only thought on his mind was comparing on Yelp about ski patrol not marking the tree where he ate dust, like I said before, it was just another day for Ed. When he got home from his drive down, he went in to have dinner. “The leprechauns were after me again today, chunk (his chocolate lab mastiff mix).” “I’ll say chunk, I would be happy to never see snow again, the world would be a better place if we could sit on a river and swim all day.” Ed says, not knowing how wrong he truly was.
30 years later, Ed is now 59 in the year 2052.
Ed sits in his same old Rocky Mountain house, looking out at the Rocky, barren landscape, that was covered in 12 feet of snow this time 30 years ago. “I never knew, I just never knew,” Ed said to himself with a shaky, sad tone. Global warming has now ravaged the planet, the only place getting any snow in the winter was at the North Pole, and it wasn’t ever more than 6”
“I wish I could go back chunk the third, I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.” 30 years ago after that day, Ed never skied again, Chunk and him moved to the New Mexico desert where they lived in a van for 10 years, biking, swimming, but never skiing, Ed had skied his whole life, with not much passion for it, he decided he had to leave. But he never knew when he was leaving, that he’d never be back again. “ All I did was complain, chunk, not one day did I appreciate how lucky I was, I just simply never knew. Ed now knew his anger and complaining was the worst part of him, but it took him till the planet was melting to understand. “We have to just enjoy everyday now Ed, we swim, we bike, we eat trout from the river, we just have to appreciate now, look at everything for the good.” Chunk the third said through his Animal voice communicator. So they did, Ed sold his Rocky Mountain house, along with all its memories, glorious and hideous, to move far north, far north enough where he and chunk could live happily, no matter what the weather was, how big the fish were, or how bad the traffic was, all they had to do was be happy.