TW // school shooting, gun violence

“What did you learn at school today?”

Summer break was so close. I physically couldn't wait. I typically enjoyed school, but senior year had been exponentially stressful for no reason. I wish I still had my best friend, but we weren’t friends anymore. I started focusing on my grades and he started hanging out with that weird kid. I wish that they had never met. 

“Morning Rebels, please stand for the pledge.” The intercom blasted throughout the halls and classrooms of our high school; the whole class stood. 

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America-” We all recited by heart. 

8:05

I looked around the class as everyone took out their assignments and books. It’s insane to me how unimportant all of that seems now. 

Our teacher was boring us as we all watched the time pass rather slowly. 

8:10

8:11

When the bell finally rang for second period, I felt like I couldn’t stay awake. 

“Lizz-” 

I turned around when I heard my name. 

“Katelyn.” I turned to my classmate and we walked to class together.

“Do you have the math homework answers from last night?” 

Math homework seems so small compared to what happened that day. 

I looked at my watch. 

8:34.

“Yeah I can give it to you next period but right now I’m gonna be late for class.” 

She smiled. “Thank you.” 

I smiled back at her. “Meet me in the library after lunch.” 

We could have gone to the cafeteria. I could have told her in math class. But no. I had to tell her to meet me in the library. 

About an hour later it was almost time for lunch. My stomach had begun to growl already.

I raised my hand.

Mr. Sanders looked at me. "Yes, Lizz?"

"Can I use the restroom?" 

10:00.

I walked to the bathroom and I washed my hands then I got a drink of water and let my stomach settle before I walked back to class.

Class went by perpetually slowly. 

10:30.

Agonizing. 

11:00.

After lunch I was a full and happy young girl. I was making my way to the library. 

11:10.

I stopped in the bathroom on the way to the library. 

11:19.

Have you ever heard a gunshot before? 

Have you ever heard frantic announcements over the intercom saying that someone was shooting outside your school? 

I have. 

I have heard that every single time I close my eyes. 

11:25

I heard more gunshots as I stayed still in the bathroom. 

I put my feet up on the toilet seat and I covered my mouth. 

Don’t breathe. Don’t move.

I heard more gunshots nearby. I prayed. I wasn’t necessarily religious. But I believed in God. I prayed that I would be safe. I was. I can’t say the same for my classmates. 

11:50.

Screams echoed through the hallowed hallways of our school like little kids at an amusement park.

12:00.

The final gunshots rang through the school. They still ring through the school as a not so peaceful reminder of what happened that afternoon. 

12:05.

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were found along with their ten victims in the high school’s library.  

Katelyn. Who I had told to meet me in the library so we could talk about our math homework. Was killed. We were not the closest of friends but we’d known each other for years. And I had told her to meet me in the library. That will haunt me forever. 

It no longer felt like our school. They had taken it. Killed it with them. So when graduation came around no one was all too sad to get out of there. But there were tears. Tears for the fallen. Tears for the memory of what could have been. What used to be. So what did I learn at school today? I learned how to hide. To run. To lose. To grieve. I learned that everything comes to an end. So whereas everyone else in America was learning about math and science. Columbine High was learning how much damage two troubled souls can do. 

That’s what I learned at school today.