“The world can be a scary place.” That’s what my dad always told me growing up. As the years passed by I came to realize the true gravity of the statement. When I was younger I used to think more that the world is not as scary but more of a dangerous place than anything. There’s always some kind of darkness lurking around every corner, whether in the form of a wrong person in your life, some personal demons, or in your case, getting more than a fair share of bad luck.

The doctors say that they don’t know when you’ll emerge from this…condition…this personal sandman of yours that keeps a firm grasp upon you. When they explained the situation to me I couldn't accept the truth initially. Time seemed to slow down and I felt as if I were about to collapse right on the spot. The girl who I would spend countless hours with on the phone almost every day. The dummy that could never fail to make me laugh no matter how terrible things have been. The person I want to spend the rest of my life with. It pains me to you see like this. Laying perfectly still in this bed with tubes upon tubes attached to various parts of your body, beeps emitted from the machines that keep you anchored to this world.

Something I’ve always believed is that there’s a special light that shines within us all. It’s like a small beacon of flame that cannot easily be conquered and has the potential to carry you through every possible obstacle you face. It’s a passion that fuels our souls, but in the end, it’s up to us to keep our own ablaze. Life has tried to extinguish that vibrant light I saw burning ever so bright within you, but ultimately it failed. That’s because I know that you have incredible strength. I’ve always gotten the feeling that there’s a special resilience about you. Maybe that’s because of all the times when you refused to give up on things, or maybe it’s just a healthy amount of stubbornness. Though the darkness of change swiftly came and loomed over our lives. In the midst of all this strife, your hope for life and your light, it pierces through and warmly embrace both of us as I remember the beautiful moments and as you slowly begin to recover as well.

So though the world can be a scary place, it can be a loving one too. So I’ll remain by your side, day and night. I’ll tell you about everything that’s happening in my life. As I lay my head against your chest and listen to your heart I wonder. Is there any space among the beating of the drum for me? And if so, amidst this coma's persistence, will I ever be able to know?