As long as Haven was with Josie, Nolan was a nobody to her.  

Haven and Josie have been inseparable for as long as anyone can remember. Spending their late nights in the cool, dark walking trails of Maine as the leaves silently fell off the trees. Even when Josie and Nolan were dating Haven was right by Josie’s side. The three of them had spent Haven’s entire sophomore year together, Haven being the odd one out. Everyone was jealous of how strong Haven and Josie’s friendship became, but all that changed one day at the beginning of Haven’s Junior year, the year that she needed Josie the most. 

The whole summer, Haven has been keeping her only secret from Josie. It hurt her not to be able to tell her best friend, or anyone, about her boyfriend. She knew that secret would ruin everything. Haven had an uneasy feeling that everyone would find out about this hidden relationship once school started. She didn’t want Nolan to think she was trying to keep him a secret, but she was, wasn’t she? 

Haven was acting differently; she rarely ever texted Josie anymore and when she did it was short responses. Josie sat in her room daydreaming about Nolan. He’s all she ever thought about since they broke up. She wanted to try again with him and what better time to do that than the beginning of their senior year? Josie hasn’t seen Haven or Nolan much all summer, but with school starting next week, she could change that. With thoughts of Nolan running through her head, she grabbed her phone to call him, but it went straight to voicemail.

During the first week back from summer break, Josie went to Nolan’s car after school to talk to him face-to-face. She noticed Haven talking to him but didn’t think anything of it. Josie knew Haven would never betray their friendship by going for her ex-boyfriend, and Nolan would never go for someone in the grade below him. The brisk fall air covered her body with tiny goosebumps as she approached his car.

“Hey Haven,” Josie smiled, “Nolan, can I talk to you for a second, alone maybe?” Josie caught Haven’s eyes lock with Nolan’s for a brief moment as if she were trying to say something to him. She could see the small realization in Haven’s longing eyes. Haven turned and walked away, but she had a gut feeling that Josie knew about them. Nolan shut his car door and looked at Josie. “So I was wondering if there is a chance we could try again.” Josie wanted to be as straight up with him as she could. “We could start over like nothing ever happened between us. We-”

“Wait, Josie,” Nolan interrupted, “You do know that I’m with Haven now don’t you?” 

At that moment, Josie’s world felt like it stopped when she heard those crushing words come out of Nolan’s mouth. The Earth maybe even stopped spinning for a split second. Josie’s mind was left blank; what could she possibly say to the boy who she started loving again after finding out he was dating her best friend, and neither of them thought to tell her? She walked away without saying anything in response. Salt-stained tears started streaming down her face and her body would not breathe. She could taste the salty heartbroken tears seep into her mouth. 

As Josie walked away a mess, Nolan was nothing but confused. Thoughts flowed through his head like a horse on a carousel. Haven had to have told her? She was not just keeping him a secret, was she? If she was, why?

 He texted Haven:

Josie knew we were dating right?? I just told her and she started crying. It was just kind of weird. 

Haven dropped her phone out of her shaky hands like it was on fire as she read the text Nolan just sent. Josie knows. He told her. Life as she knew it was ruined. 

Well, she didn’t. I was going to tell her though, I promise! 

Nolan didn’t know how to react. How had Haven been keeping him a secret from everyone, including her best friend? Nolan’s feelings for Haven had been growing stronger every day and now everything just seemed pointless to him.

“Josie! I’m so glad you called me. Look, I was going to tell you about me and Nolan soon I just didn’t know how to.” Haven was so scared she was about to lose her best friend. 

“Haven no. You shouldn’t be with him in the first place. You knew how much I wanted to get back together with him. This explains why you’ve been acting differently since the beginning of summer.” Josie slammed her phone down. Prior to this call, the tears were trickling down her warm red face. Now they poured over her steaming hot face like water over Niagra Falls. Although Josie didn’t want to lose Haven, she wanted Haven to have consequences for treating her like this. Revenge boiled through Josie’s blood. She was going to make Haven’s life miserable. First, she has to leave her with no one. 

Haven busted into her mom’s room; her face red and streaked with mascara and tears. Her mom gasped at the first sight of her daughter's tears.

 “Oh Haven, honey what’s wrong?” Her mom sat down on her bed and wrapped her arms around Haven. As she held her, she could feel Haven shaking and her heart racing. She didn’t ask again, she gave Haven time to collect herself. They sat like that for almost 30 minutes before she finally got Haven calmed down.

“Mom, Josie found out about Nolan before I could tell her myself and she’s really mad. I tried texting everyone about it but no one has answered. She’s getting them on her side before I can even explain myself. I just don’t know what to do.” She caught her breath. “I don’t think Josie and I are friends anymore.”

The reassurance she was longing for from her mom was not what she received. It was a look of pity. “You’ll be okay Haven. It’s just everyday high school drama. It will pass like it always does. Everyone goes through it. Just don’t say anything that will make it worse.” As Haven walked out, Rachel watched her daughter. She had never seen Haven so upset and wondered how she would make it through.  

Nolan’s friends rarely ever talked to Haven, so it was unusual when a couple of days later, Nolan’s best friend, Oliver, sat next to Haven in the library.  Haven just stared blankly at him and managed to force an uncomfortable smile.

“Hey Haven, I just wanted to talk to you about Nolan. I know you guys are dating, but I’m just looking out for you and I really don’t think he’s good for you.” Oliver watched Haven’s face for a reaction but it remained blank. 

“Why is that?” Haven asked. She’s overheard what kids were saying about him recently, but never had someone tell her to her face. Oliver fidgeted and tried to think of the best way to word what he wanted to say without offending her.

“Well, you didn’t hear this from me but he was talking. And it was about other girls. In a way, I don’t think you would appreciate. He hasn’t been talking about you as much as he did over the summer. You don’t have to believe me, I’m just telling you so I can say I warned you if anything happened.” Oliver stood to leave but Haven grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Wait, Oliver, do you think that I should break up with him or something?” Haven asked with hesitation in her voice. 

“I’m not going to just flat out say that but I’m also not saying no. I have to get going though, so I’ll catch you later I guess?” He knew he shouldn’t have said anything, Nolan would kill him if he found out he had. He just couldn’t leave Haven in the dark. She’s too sweet to get hurt by him. He did what he thought was right. Haven was left with so many questions floating through her head. She wanted to talk to her best friend about it, but she knew that couldn’t happen.

As Josie was cleaning her room, she found her box of memories. As she slowly lifted the lid and handled the objects she had once cherished, the memories floated out like clouds floating through the sky. Most of the objects brought back reminders of Haven. Their poses in the photobooth pictures and the seashells they collected together at the beach. A feeling of regret for leaving Haven crept in her head, so she threw the box back into the farthest part of her closet and went to find something to distract her mind from leading back to Haven. 

On the other hand, Haven was struggling even worse. She’s never had to choose between people, and she surely never thought she would have to do it all without Josie, her usual support. Haven’s grades were starting to drop and her anxiety was reaching higher levels than ever. Josie was like Haven’s sister, without her, Haven was lost. Haven heard her name over the loudspeakers, bringing her back to reality after zoning out all class.

“Haven Smith to the counselor’s office, please. Haven Smith.” She felt everyone's eyes burn through her as she grabbed her stuff and rushed out of the room careful not to make eye contact. Her eyes started flaming from the tears forming in them. She didn’t want to talk to a counselor. Her feet dragged so she could take more time to think about what she was going to say to her. The counselor, Ms. Thompson, carefully observed Haven walk into the tiny room.
“So Haven, some of your teachers have been worried about your grades dropping. They say you have stopped participating in class and turning in assignments. They are all very worried about you, and so am I,” she said. She watched as Haven sat and stared at her cluelessly. Ms. Thompson knows what happened, she has heard about it from other students. “Okay, I get you don’t want to talk about it but that is the only way it will get better.” Haven paused and took a deep breath to prepare herself to talk.

Haven told Ms. Thompson everything that happened, being sure not to leave out any details. The counselor thought carefully for a moment before responding, “This is not what you want to hear and I know that, but I think the best thing for you is to break up with Nolan. He seems to be the root of every single problem you have right now. That is what I am going to leave you with. If you have anything else you need to talk about, tell me. If not you may go to the bathroom and clean yourself up then head back to class.” As Haven walked out of the room, Ms. Thompson began to wonder if her advice would truly help; or if Haven will actually take it.

As the last bell finally rings, Haven gathered enough courage to text Nolan. A simple message that read: 

Hey, can you come to my house after school? We need to talk.

Feeling relieved Haven had texted, Nolan went over what he wanted to say. He had been needing to talk to her and had been thinking about breaking up with her for a while. She has been acting so differently lately, and it seemed as if she was ashamed of him. She didn’t even tell her best friend about them. During the whole drive to her house, he was planning what to say to her. He wasn’t nervous but he could not think of what to say. By the time he pulled into her driveway, he decided to just say the words that came to him at that moment.

“Hey,” Haven said when he got there.

“Yeah hi. I need to talk to you before you say anything. It’s important but I don’t want you to be upset.” Haven looked at him with a blank expression and nodded her head, prompting him to keep going. “I think we need to break up. You have been acting so differently lately and I just feel like you are embarrassed to admit to anyone that we are together. I don’t know if that’s true, but yeah.” Haven’s jaw dropped. She didn’t know what to say so she just sat there for a second in the lingering silence.

“I seriously can not have this conversation right now so just leave.” She was so confused. She didn’t know why he would have done that. It was supposed to be her moment. She watched as Nolan walked out of her front door for the last time with warm tears streaming down her face. Haven thought they were going to last forever, but knew that this was for the best. She wanted to tell someone. Josie was the only person she wanted to talk to, so Haven dialed her number.

Josie’s phone lit up. She looked down to see that Haven was calling her. Josie went to ignore it but thought for a second. Maybe this was important, after all, Haven hasn’t called her since they stopped being friends. She hesitantly hit the bright green button.

 “Hello?” All Josie heard on the other end of the phone was crying. “Haven? Haven, what's wrong?” Josie was still concerned even after what Haven did to her, “I’m on my way Haven.” 

She hung up and ran to her car. All Josie could think about was what could have possibly happened to Haven. When Josie got to Haven’s house, she walked in without knocking and went straight to Haven’s room. She smelt the pumpkin spice scent lingering throughout the house. Josie saw Haven curled up on her bed with her back rising and deflating every second from her heavy breathing. 

“It’s done. Nolan and I broke up.” Haven sobbed. “Please forgive me, I realize I should have never gotten with him. He was never worth losing you, nothing ever would be. Please just let me have my best friend back,” she begged. Josie felt a lump in her throat. She laid down next to Haven and hugged her, it was the only thing she could think to do. It was all she wanted to do. 

“Oh Haven, I forgive you. I should have never gotten so upset with you and I knew that. I should’ve warned you about Nolan. Then none of this would’ve happened. We were just being immature. This is not at all how I wanted to spend my senior year, and junior year is stressful enough for you without losing me. I am so sorry,” Josie paused for a second, “I also shouldn’t have made everyone else mad at you either,” Haven smiled for a second. Just having a normal conversation with Josie was the best thing that could happen to her right now. 

“Can we please never fight again? That was the most miserable time of my life,” Haven got up and walked to her bedroom door. “Ice cream? My mom will be happy to finally see you again,” Josie got up and followed Haven downstairs. They ran out to their car to go do everything they should have been doing this whole time. Haven’s mom smiled. She knew from the start it would be okay in the end; they were inseparable.

As long as Haven was with Josie, Nolan was a nobody to her.