Her breath escaped her as she tried to grasp what was happening. Was he really there in front of her? Maybe she imagined him there. She knew she still wanted him, but it had been two years since they had last seen each other. She forced herself to face reality and walked on, believing he wasn’t there as she passed him. He was only a desire. A distraction.

She had a good life going for her now. Her Senior year was a cinch and she had been clean since the day he had left. Her friends returned to her and now she was active in church. Everyone had seen the transformation. For her, it was more like a metamorphosis.

“Lilly,” the smooth voice called her in and she was taken aside by a strong hand. She blinked away her past and looked at the man that stood before her now.

“Shawn?” her voice broke and she looked up to see his face. Around the two of them the busy sidewalks seemed to freeze and everything was still. Matt’s beautiful blue eyes held her stare as she still tried to wake herself up from this dream. She was dreaming, wasn’t she? She prayed she was as he leaned in closer, his hands around her waist.

“No,” she tried to push him away- to cause a scene- but everyone had gone from the street. “Get away from me! No!” Shawn pressed Alicia against the wall, reminding her of the reason she hated him. “Get off of me! Stop! Please…” her screams were now sobs and the grip of winter held her to the cold brick wall in fear.

“I thought this is what you wanted,” his voice was low and sadistic. She couldn’t push him away. She scratched his face, causing him to bleed, but he only got angry and pulled back the raised his arm up.

“No!” Francis woke up in a cold sweat. Her pillows had been knocked off of the bed and her comforter was sitting on the end. She sat up and ran her fingers through her long, curly hair. In the moonlight, her black hair had a purple tint to it. She got out of bed and her nightgown situated itself, falling just above her ankles. Francis crossed the room and turned on the light at her desk. It was the same dream again.

“Oh, Lilly,” she sobbed. She was staring at a picture of her sister placed on the corner of her cork board. Francis was Alicia’s younger sister, only one of four. She had taken her death the hardest. Only one year apart, they were best friends.

In the months prior to Lilly’s death, she had been acting strange and often came home late with bruises on her. There were no signs of substance abuse, but the family knew something was wrong. Rumors around school told Francis Shawn was back. He was two years older than Lilly when they fell in love her sophomore year.

Unrequited was what their mother called it. He never showed any affection and was heavy into drugs, both buying and selling. Lilly had just been with the wrong people. Six months into their relationship, Shawn was arrested for a third time that year, with the charge of drug possession. For Lilly, she had to get clean. She had been smoking and drinking and it only worried her family more.

Shawn being arrested had been the best thing that could have happened to her, but when he showed up two years later, everything started to go south. Lilly convinced everyone he had changed.
She proved herself wrong the night of the accident. Francis despised Shawn and blamed him for Lily’s death. If he would have just stayed away, her beloved sister would still be alive.

Being the optimistic and faithful girl she was, Lilly wouldn’t let Shawn drive home that night. She had got a call that night from a friend that said Shawn needed to be picked up- that he had been drinking all night. She grabbed the keys to her jeep and drove as quickly as she could to the party.

After she got him loaded up, she drove down the back roads, in hopes of getting home faster. She followed and long winding road on a mountainside, but as she made a sharp turn, something caused a rock slide. Her jeep was hit and rolled don the face of the rock, thirty-five feet to the bottom.

The next morning Francis and the family was notified of this horrific event. Lilly had died on impact but Shawn was still alive and had to be in the hospital for three months due to the injuries he had sustain.

And the dream of everything Shawn had ever done to Lilly haunted Francis every night for the last two years. She saw it again and again, with no end. She prayed it would go away, but it only worsened as her resentment grew for Shawn and his mistakes.
Now he really had changed, and all due to Lilly. Too bad it took her death for him to begin his new life.

Francis turned off her light and forced herself back to bed. As she settled herself in the blankets, Lilly filled her thoughts. She would never forget. As she fell asleep, she practically promised to herself she would never forgive Shawn.

What Francis didn’t know was that her dream repeated itself because of this anger. All she had to do was give it up.