People change. Never think a year ahead, because you never know where you’re going to be, or who’s going to be there with you.

I grew up in a small town. Saw the same kids from elementary all the way up to high school. Having a big family also played a huge role in my life. I was related to almost every single white kid at school, even a few Hispanics. Middle school is always tough. You’re finding out who you are and who your true friends. You’re in the awkward kid-adult stage. In a small town its almost worse I think because there’s not so much competition for the spotlight. You were expected to shop at Hollister, American Eagle, and Aeropostale. I couldn’t afford it.
Middle School may have been tough, but it was nothing like my freshmen year. I didn’t fit in right. I didn’t fit in with the jocks or the nerds. There was no group for me. I had no stereotype. I finally stopped trying to listen to hip-hop and found some underground music I liked, no loved. My so called friends were a little shallow. One was wild, too wild, and the other, well she couldn’t stick up for me if her life depended upon it. It’s the sad truth.

I’d get put down for so many things. I was a geek because I liked super heroes. I was anti-social because I was shy. I was sheltered because my parents didn’t let me go to a get together where guys were. I thought unattractive people were attractive and got ridiculed for it.

I couldn’t handle it. My own best friends weren’t treating me right. All I wanted was for someone to love me. I wanted to be accepted. For once, I wanted someone to be on my side. It took a great toll on my self-esteem. I hated myself, my family, my religion, school, everything. A lot of people believe that others come first, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take care of yourself. Sometimes you need to be first.